Thursday, March 18, 2010
So here I sit. I have recently moved to a new town (my husband's home town) and I am in constant fear of running into people that know my husband's family or grew up with him. My sister has also since moved back to Texas and is now only about 1 hour away from me. We have mutual friends. Couldn't be happier about the move and having all of my family so close to me. I went to college about an hour away as well. The possibility of running into former friends of either myself, my husband or my sister terrifies me.
How could I have let myself get to be 100 freakin' pounds overweight? I am doing so good right now, so don't get me wrong, I am going to lose all of this weight once and for all.
What's my problem, you might ask? Well, I just keep telling myself that I wish I had 6 more months of "hiding" like I have in the past. I am a very social person, you just would never know it. I have tons of friends back where I moved from. They knew me as the funny, fat friend. I just don't want to meet these new prospective friends in my current state of blubber. This isn't me. I am better than what you see on the outside. I am an inner athlete. I am a pretty person. You just can't see that now. I am tired of shopping at Lane Bryant. I want to be that "hip" mom you see dropping her kids off in the morning, perfectly dressed in the latest fashion.
I want to run into people I know from my past with confidence. I am getting there. It is just so slow. I need about one year to achieve this, I think. What would I do if they realized who I was? I know it will happen. Can't avoid it.
The good news is: I am really focused about eating healthy and exercising. I am eating clean and feeling wonderful. I have a new BodyBugg and I can tell this device will change my life. I know it. I actually WANT to sweat and put vegetables in my mouth.
I just wish I would have figured this out 2 years ago...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Well, I have to admit it that my weight is not budging. At all. I lost about 15 pounds fairly quick, and now seem to have hit a brick wall. I know exactly what the cause is: I am not being truthful on my logging of food and calories consumed. I have a tendency to log my food "before" I actually eat it. I still follow my eating plan, however, I am not logging all the healthy "snacking" I am doing. I am not eating a hamburger or a hot dog. Instead, I am eating 3 servings of hummus or whole grain toast w/ organic almond butter and a banana.
I have been HUNGRY lately. Or at least I think I am. Maybe I am just bored. I am a SAHM to an adorable 2 year old (have 2 older girls as well). He is going through a crazy faze of yelling at the top of his lungs. So I have a tendency to not go out in public (unless I have to). I don't push myself on the treadmill like I do at the gym. I need to get off my butt and go to the gym. I have a much better workout there. I love the classes.
So back to my original problem. I am now going to start only writing down what I eat, as I am eating it. I need to hold myself more accountable. I am not happy about not losing anything the whole month of February. I ate so healthy, just too much. Gotta get this mindless eating under control, once and for all!
Monday, February 01, 2010
Contrary to what you have been told, eating "clean" and organic is very expensive. I came home with 5 small sacks of groceries yesterday, and shockingly spent $150.00. Granted, I was out of most of my staple items (tahini, olive oil, brown rice, greek yogurt), but it is crazy to think that in order to put healthy food on my family's plate, I must spend a lot to do it.
Examples: all organic
1) cucumbers $5.69 for 2
2) milk $5.99
3) chicken breast 1.5 lbs= $12.00!
Someone on a limited budget could not afford this. I feel sorry for the person trying to do good, but simply cannot afford to go totally organic or clean.
There are virtually NO coupons for healthy products. In my sunday paper I just kept flipping through the pages looking for something to use (I did find Eggland's Best eggs). Crazy. If I wanted to buy Hamburger Helper or Cheetos, then sure I could have used those for double coupon day (not that I do).
I really think we need to stop and think about this obesity crisis we are in (myself included). We are keeping America fat because it is so much cheaper to by unhealthy. 99 cent menus at every fast food place.
Now that I have committed to eating "Clean" I cannot imagine putting that crap in my body again. So, I will continue to pay these crazy prices for food, in order to keep my family healthy. We do not eat out anymore (you just don't know what they are putting in menus). We do save money by not doing this. I just wish we could find a cheaper way. There are farmer's markets about 30 miles away, so I guess we will have to make it a family affair on Saturday mornings. I know my 3 kids would actually love it. They have no concept of how much things cost. Oh, the good old days...
Monday, January 25, 2010
I have decided what I would like most for my upcoming May birthday. I am going to give myself the gift of 50 pounds. 50 pounds LOST! I can't think of anything better. I want to do this for myself. I have never really given myself anything health related (well that $1000 treadmill for Christmas does not count). I am already 10 pounds down. The hard part was just getting started. It has become so much easier every single day.
I am doing great so far with my healthy eating. I would say I eat clean about 90% of the time. I have indulged in a few glasses of wine on two occasions. The difference is that I have not beat myself up about it. I genuinely feel like I am SO going to do it this time. Something is different.
Yes, 50 pounds for my birthday is just what I NEED...
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