Almost 2 years~

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Gosh ya'll! It's been so long since I've blogged here! I've peeped in and looked at what's changed and trying to find out who's still here! I may have to delete my friends and start over being that it looks like no one is here anymore. I'm on FB all the time too and sometimes Twitter OH and Pinterest...that's my new addiction! How has everyone been? Well since the last time I was here I found out I was pregnant in Oct 2010 and gave birth to a handsome baby boy July 1st 2011! You guys know that we had adopted my 1st son and he will be 4 in 11 days!! WOW time flies! I now weigh 148 pounds! I still have 10-20 more pounds I would like to lose! I want to tone up now and do some ST! I can't believe that I've come this far on this journey! It's definently not easy! I've learned so much about myself and how food is still the enemy! LOL How has everyone else been doing? Who's still here! You can find me on FB as Pebbles Phatgurllove McClain...other than that I'll be around to start journaling my food again!

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What's eating me???

Friday, October 22, 2010

Hey ya'll, long time no see! Just stopping through to tell ya'll what's been going on with me. I feel myself slipping into a hole filled with food. I am drinking soda, haven't had a protein shake in a while, haven't had any vitamins and have pretty much been eating what I want and while I'm still not able to eat like I used to, I feel guilty as hell. I feel like I am cheating myself. I have tried to think and rationalize my feelings as to why am I eating and why am I drinking sodas.

I currently weigh 184.3. I am 16mths out. I still feel like a failure. My family and I are living with my bro in law and sis in law and it is hell in a handbasket...I think that contributes to my eating habits also because I am not able to cook and prepare my own meals. We eat out everyday and occasionally we will have sandwiches...if their kids haven't destroyed our bread and eatin our lunch meat. *sigh* We have not been pregnant again since the miscarriage on 3/21. My due date was last week which had me feeling down in the dumps because I was thinking about what would've been. I've been missing my mom, missing my job and yet I'm still trying to find a way to not ever work for someone else again.

I really would like to receive funding for my mentoring program. Check it out! I am launching E-Mentoring, hopefully by the end of the year or the beginning of 2011. I am extremely excited about my program which is called The P.H.A.T. Kids Mentoring Program and I currently have almost 30 kids enrolled. Just trying to match mentors with the mentees! I love it and it is a dream come true for me. Just not bringing in any income. I am getting unemployment benefits, but they will not last long. I am getting ready to apply for an extention soon. **sigh** Thanks for listening guys. I don't think I'm that far gone, but I would again...love some suggestions from those that are 16mths out. What are you eating? I freak out because I can eat a whole taco from taco bell...I can only eat one, but that scares me...smh! Pray for me! Love ya'll and I miss ya'll too!

It's working and I like it!

Monday, August 03, 2009

I had my first real WOW moment this weekend. I decided to go shopping since I was having a case of the saggy booty. (lol) While I was out shopping I kept hearing my inner voice to tell me to try on an 18. I was like naw'll I can't wear that. All because my other pants still fit a little in the waist. I'm arguing with myself while my 14 month old is grinning at me like I'm talking to him. ~smile~ I grabbed an 18w and high tailed it to the dressing room to prove myself wrong. I put one leg in and the while entire time, I'm fussing myself out. "Girl, you cannot wear no dayum 18. You can still wear those 24's"You ain't losin no weight. Inches maybe. Remember the 254.4 that I was crying about 2 weeks ago? Now it's 244, that's under that 247 that I was seeing 4 weeks ago. I was like man....10 pounds in 3 weeks. (Still amazes me....) But I put the other leg in the pants and started sliding them up...and the whole time my brain is screaming at me like you can't get into these pants. Once I stood there with them around my waist...the mental torture became worse. It was "I betcha can't button them, they won't fasten....." Lo and behold...I buttoned and zipped them. Standing in that dressing room looking in that mirror, at me....ME?!! In an 18!!!!!!!!!! OMG....I don't even remember being in an 18 EVER! I lost my mind. I didn't buy much because I know that I will not be here long. But I brought enough to keep a smile on my face for the next month. I may go again. I've never enjoyed shopping so much in my life! I just wanted to share with you. I have been on cloud 9 all weekend long! I will post some new pictures soon. I just wanted to share!

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1 Week Post Op Appt

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

2 pounds down for a total of 7 pounds! YAY! I'm so proud!!!

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My Hospital Experience

Monday, June 01, 2009

I set my alarm clock for 4:00am Wednesday morning. It went off at 4:15am after hitting the snooze button. As you can tell by my post before the last one, I was so nervous...what time I went to bed. My MIL arrived here at 4am and was screaming.."Y'all ain't ready yet?" My husband and I were dragging and I know I was like nope..don't go...! LOL I finally got dressed and we all loaded up in the car to go to the hospital to check in. I checked in and we were seated in the waiting room at around 5:14am....what they wrote on the paperwork. We sat and waited. I saw my sister's pastor when I walked in and I was surprised to see him there. We embraced and I sat and waited to be called to the back. The nurse called me at about 6:20am. I went in the back and my husband went with me while My MIL took my FIL to work. They weighed me in and I lost 5 pds on the 2 day liquid diet! I was like Yay! I could not believe it. For some strange reason, I thought it wouldn't work for me. So I went from 277.4 to 272. something. But before then I weighted 280 at my first consultation. So in total I lost 8 pounds prior to surgery! Anyhoo, I got undressed and put on my hospital gowns and answered the typical questions:

Allergies?-Nope
ER contacts? -Husband


She then measured my calf so that she can get me the right size compression stockings and footsie socks. She pulled the curtain and walked out and my husband was laffin at me because I was shaking my feet at the ankles and he was like.."Stop being nervous..." I was like "I can't." The nurse came in and said..."Did I hear that you were nervous??" "Yes" "Well, it looks like they ordered something for you and I have it right here. She injected me and I kindly accepted. LOL My MIL then returned and her and my husband were laffing at me. Why I don't know. They said I started looking and sound crazy when talking. Then they came and said they were ready to take me to the OR. The nurse said.."Are you ready?" I said . "No." My husband started laffing and they put the bonnet on my head and off I went. When I got into the OR..I had calmed down alot and I was looking around at them opening surgical tools and the nurse asked me to move from my bed to the table and I said Ok...I moved onto the table and they introduced me to the people around me and I said hello. One of the techs came over and told me that he needed me to breathe in some oxygen. I said "Ok." Then I looked up and the nurse told me "Your surgery went well, we are now moving you to recovery."

I said.."I had surgery??" SMH.....they psyched me out y'all. They got me. The Tech tricked me because he had been told that I was nervous. Oxygen...Ha, Ha funny....but I woke up not in pain at all and I got to my room, I was still a lil dopey but I saw my sister and my MIL and my husband in the room with me. One of my friends stopped by to visit and she talked to me for a while. But It was a great surgery and I am still getting a lil stiff in the abdomen and that's when I take some meds...but I'm in no pain at all....I wish I would've did this sooner. My face looks slimmer by the pics I took today. I'm going to post some of my hospital pics up. Thanks guys again for your support.

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