2BEEFIT   45,688
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2BEEFIT's Recent Blog Entries

Deleting my sparkmail.. what a wake up call.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

I sat and just deleted my sparkmails. It tells a story that I am sad about. My daughter went through something starting last March. I dropped my life.. and I mean, I put everything about my life on hold to hold her, walk her through, guide her, whatever you want to call it.. through her life.

I am dealing with separation issues as she gets ready to leave the nest as well. I realized that I can't live her life for her. She will be disappointed, she will get strong, she will win and lose. She will love, and be loved, she will get her heart broken, she will make great friends and she will be used and betrayed by some of those same friends, until they get it figured out, not to treat people poorly. It all comes with age, maturity, and experience.

Back to the sparkmail. I sat there and deleted it from March of last year. The mail literally told the story of when I stopped focusing at all on myself. I just stopped caring about me at any level. I missed all the invites, all the challenges, all the motivational emails, all the WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT IS GOING ON? WE LOVE YOU... COME BACK!

I missed all of them, I missed my life. I could not see what I was doing to myself, as I focused on her. I did her no favors by doing that. I did myself no favors. I wasted almost a year of my life. 9 months. Maybe it took 9 months to have her, and 9 months for her growth at this stage. I don't know... I just know it is time to refocus, for my sake and for her sake.

I want me back. I have not lost a single pound in almost a year. That in itself tells me I need spark. I need to be back on track. I can't do it alone. I feel safe when I am doing this. Like I am not in it alone. Like I have friends that motivate and understand me. I can do this. I need to show my daughter how to really live a life based on your own choices and not being a victim by offering up excuses. I am tired of that. So very tired of that. It is not what you think.. It is what you DO!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NITA-BERRY 4/10/2014 12:09PM

    I noticed your page highlighted today and popped by to have a visit. Thanks for sharing yourself over a cup of my morning coffee. The truth in this blog resonated with my own life as I have let my own accountability to Sparks fall to the way-side this last year.
emoticon for the pep talk.

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HAPPYJUNEBUG 1/21/2014 10:43PM

    So glad to have you back on our team!

I'm so happy for you! Yes, we're here to help you on your weightloss journey, and you are not alone. Even if you don't use the trackers, just know that there are people here who blog, who do want to help you!

Have a good week!

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Junie
100+ Pounds Team
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TIRED49 1/14/2014 4:06PM

    emoticon emoticon
You are not alone! I know just how you feel. I did the same thing and thought of all the things I had missed.

Take some you time, trust me there will be more times you are needed on down the road and you will be glad you are getting healthier.



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MRSKATEDUVALL 1/13/2014 12:09AM

    Lessons learned. My daughter is also leaving the nest soon, and I will be sad, and scared for her, and worried but proud, and humbled and so very pleased to enter the next phase of life.

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SMILINGEYES2 1/12/2014 10:43PM

    Great that you are back. It is hard facing a child leaving. I am sure you are more than a mother--you are a trusted friend and her secure base. Best wishes as you work on you.

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MSEMBERSTORM 1/12/2014 9:16PM

    emoticon Sometimes it takes times like that for us to realize. We are here for you! Glad your daughter is working through the situation. She is blessed to have a great mom! Now take care of yourself. We can do this together! Hugs!

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MJ2AHM 1/12/2014 8:01PM

    You are sure sounding like me. I am and have been looking to get back to me. I gave up my last year on others and trying to take care of me, but it just was not working out. I am now looking to find me again. Lose this weight and be a fit and healthy me. Lets make this year be the best. Something I even have to remember is that I am no good to others when I don't take care of myself first.

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-BLESSINGS- 1/12/2014 6:15PM

    emoticon

I had left sparkpeople for awhile... and I honestly felt I had been in limbo for a couple of years with myself / weight / health... I am sooooooooooo glad to be back... and all the friends and support...

wishing you all the best ~Deby

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MOTHEPRO 1/12/2014 2:57PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LOPEYP 1/12/2014 2:32PM

    It happens to the best of us. Life takes precedent and then when things calm down we focus on ourselves again. emoticon emoticon

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2BEEFIT 1/12/2014 11:32AM

    Yeah, I am definitely ready. It is what is the healthiest and best choice for me. I have never focused on myself. I have tried, but the reality is, when I do, it causes friction. Suddenly people are feeling betrayed, alone, abandoned, because I am always the one to be there for them.. holding their hand, making them breakfast when they are damn well capable of doing that on their own. (Case in point.. my DH is sitting there doing absolutely nothing) I am on sparkpeople. He comes in and asks if I will make him breakfast. He is 51 years old. He can't make his own breakfast.. but I get up and do it.. because frankly it would take longer to explain to him, that while I am happy to make breakfast sometimes, if I don't feel like it, he should go ahead and do it, and not feel like I am neglecting him or the world is coming to an end. Sigh. It is going to be a really long process.

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JUNEAU2010 1/12/2014 11:02AM

    Now that you're turning over a new page, don't look back!

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THINFITFEMINIST 1/12/2014 10:39AM

    So, you have a habit of forgetting about yourself.
You made most of the focus of your blog about your separation anxiety and fears about your daughter.
Theirs an apparent dichotomy here and I'm sure you see it.

Are you really willing to let this go? It has a tremendous hold on you and I think you've developed this over many years. And not just about your daughter.

It isn't impossible to change, it just is very difficult when in the back of ones mind is a whole lot of reasons not to.



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CYCLINGSANDY 1/12/2014 10:37AM

    OK, so now you're starting over. No biggie! So, am I. Life is full of second chances.
DO your best with this chance you have to take care of yourself better. I plan to do the same and lose the 15 pounds I gained in 2013.

My hope is that you will find peace about your decisions. I am an empty nester and I can attest it is a great part of life too! emoticon

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hmmmm.. ashamed

Friday, October 11, 2013

I haven't been back to take care of myself in months. I just gave up.

I realize I was on a road to nowhere and the only way to care for others is to care for yourself. I am back now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BONNIE626 10/10/2014 3:37PM

    No shame needed. You just stepped away until you were ready to begin again and we are glad that you are here. Please take care of yourself first and then take care of others,

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MSEMBERSTORM 10/14/2013 6:20PM

    Glad your back. We're here for you!

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MOTHEPRO 10/12/2013 10:09AM

    emoticon

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WATCHMEGO! 10/12/2013 9:27AM

    Forget the shame! See what you can learn from your slip. Use it to make a plan for the next time your motivation wanes, because it will. Motivation comes and goes; commitment is the real deal that gets the job done.

You can do it!

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KANOE10 10/12/2013 9:07AM

    Goo plan. Take care of yourself. Get support from Spark. Today is a new day. You can do it.
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HARMONYAGAIN 10/12/2013 8:06AM

    welcome back emoticon

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THINFITFEMINIST 10/12/2013 6:20AM

    Good words to yourself. Come up with a plan to head off giving up again. Habitual thoughts do surface, especially when making progress. Ruts are called ruts for a reason. BE PREPARED.

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LOPEYP 10/12/2013 5:13AM

    emoticon emoticon

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TIRED49 10/11/2013 10:07PM

    emoticon

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GOPINTOS 10/11/2013 7:27PM

    emoticon

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HAPPYJUNEBUG 10/11/2013 7:13PM

    That's right. First take care of yourself. Then, you can easily take care of others.

Welcome back.

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PGHP31CK 10/11/2013 3:57PM

    Good for you! You drew your line in the sand & you're moving forward -- did the same thing myself a few weeks ago.

I'm cheering you on!!!! You can do it! emoticon

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SEAJESS 10/11/2013 1:35PM

    No shame! It's just part of your path.

Time to look forward and make your past your past. Give yourself a mountain of credit for every little healthy step you take today.

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Bottoms up on the water!

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Inspirational quotes and how I have learned from them

Saturday, March 02, 2013

I have collected quotes and posted them all over my page.

I gather quotes and pin them to my board, I print them out and I stick them on my mirror and my books. I carry them with me, I even wear them on my wrist in a silver inscribed bracelet.

Something has happened.

I am now posting them on my facebook for others. I am printing them out and leaving them for my daughter on her pillow.

I discovered, while I like the quotes, I don't lean on them like I used to when I felt lost, looking for hope, direction, motivation. I carry all of that within me.

I enjoy reading them still but I feel like my life and how I live each and every day is my very own quote on the world.

What quote would you be.. I hope it is not She never got around to being who she always wanted to be.

I hope it is more, take each and every single moment of your life and breathe it in, experiencing it as if it was a wonderful couple of coffee, a child's smile, the warmth of a hug, the surprise of flowers, the quite stillness of the early morning.

My husband said to me the other day, I want to be simple again.

I, too, want to sit on the side of the river enjoying the sound of the water rushing by, and not being stuck in rush hour.

I am eating organic, and I am cooking from scratch and I am reading more and I am moving my body, though not as fast as I once did. I am not fierce, but I am triumphant. Taking care of me. I have a long way to go, but I realize each and every one of us runs a marathon, whether we put a pair of running shoes on or not.

How do you want to get to the end? I am savoring every single sweet step, all the hills, the valleys, the rainstorms, and the sunshine.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONNIER64 3/26/2013 3:18PM

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MSEMBERSTORM 3/3/2013 4:55PM

    emoticon

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LUCKY-13 3/3/2013 11:22AM

    Loved your blog! I'll be visiting your page often!

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PRINCESS1309 3/2/2013 7:39PM

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SWIMLOVER 3/2/2013 3:48PM

  I love your blog! I agree that it is very inspirational! emoticon emoticon

GOD BLESS!
Louise

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MOIRA2 3/2/2013 3:36PM

    I love this positive blog. It's the same direction I want to go in. emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 3/2/2013 3:36PM

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Round Two: Around the House Workout Game

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Around the House Workout Game!
1) Every time you visit the restroom do 15 wall pushups!
2) Every time a commercial comes on get up and do 15 knee lifts
3) Unloading dishwasher: 15 squats
4) Folding Laundry: 20 arm circles
5) Brushing teeth: calve lifts

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWIMLOVER 3/2/2013 3:53PM

  This is emoticon emoticon

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ELSCO55 2/25/2013 10:12AM

    Great idea

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MSEMBERSTORM 2/24/2013 11:49PM

    This is an awesome idea. I need to so do this! Thanks for the ideas!

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MJ7DM33 2/24/2013 6:37PM

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MTPOETNH 2/24/2013 3:38PM

    Great idea for getting some exercise worked into the day- I am with Akathleen.. bathroom stops for wall push ups would be SEVERAL times per day .. a hidden benefit of drinking all that water!! emoticon emoticon

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AKATHLEEN54 2/24/2013 3:10PM

    Sounds like a great idea, but with the way I've been using the restroom after drinking all this water I'll be doing push ups all day.... maybe I should try it and I'll end up with some pretty good guns just for drinking water!! ha ha! Thanks for the great ideas. emoticon

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First Weeks Challenge

Sunday, February 24, 2013



My Blog is actually on my sparkpage LOL. I am 45 now sigh, with two kids that run me ragged and try as I might I find myself slipping into a pattern where I continuously take care of them first.

I did this challenge days ago, and yet I didn't bother to post it until now. I use both Fitbit and the Aria Fitbit Scale so I know every single day what my percentage of fat is.

53.0% down from 53.7% last week WOO HOO 134# of fat. Can you believe that? I am willing to make a change, but I do see that it is going to happen bit by bit and not all at once. It is a journey and I want to be at the finish line. I never really got that until right now.

I am drinking more water and taking better care of myself but I have a long way to go.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWIMLOVER 3/2/2013 3:55PM

  We are all in this Healthy Journey together! emoticon emoticon



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MSEMBERSTORM 2/24/2013 11:49PM

    emoticon

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SKINNYSTRUMMER 2/24/2013 4:27PM

    Awesome possum!

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MTPOETNH 2/24/2013 3:48PM

    It is a journey and so glad you have started down the path to a healthier "you". emoticon emoticon and you will make it to the finish line. emoticon

Being a mom is really hard , I can relate to how often we put our kids needs ahead of ours .. that makes us great Moms but increases our chances for "burnout".

emoticon on drinking more water and taking better care of yourself!! emoticon emoticon Continue to take one step at a time and you will get there !!

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NMSUSTUDENT 2/24/2013 2:55PM

    Quote: "Getting what you go after is success; but liking it while you are getting it is happiness."─Bertha Damon

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