Saturday, August 25, 2012
From time to time we get off course and need to stop , pause and reframe our lives.
I find these 7 steps helpful.
Step #1: Be Authentic
We are ever changing and evolving hopefully for the better as in personal growth. Don't cling to something you used to be. Don’t try to be something you’re not – in your life or in your work – You don’t want to run into the disappointment both you and others from expectations you can't met. Don't allow others to tell you who you are. Seek and find your true self and be yourself .
Step#2: Learn to Focus
You have many dreams and that is great till you try to work on them all at one time and end up burned out. You can do everything you want , just not all at the same time. You must figure out what is most important to you at any given time and learn to focus on priorities. This is something that I am just learning to do . When one learns to focus on priorities then life begins to flow . You learn to block out what is lest important and put your effort on what counts most at this time.
Step#3 : Face your fears
Face your fears or stay in your comfort zone where there is not much accomplishment. People moving forward with their life often feel scared , but take the action they need to take anyway. You never know what you are capable of doing till you try.
Sometimes we have to force ourselves out of our comfort zones. Great things will happen when we push threw our fears. Be the person you want to be! Do the things you want to do! Try new things!
Step#4: Learn to say NO
Don't add too much to your plate. Learn to say no gracefully. Know your purpose at this time in your life and make wise choices. If you’re spending your entire time saying yes to the wrong things in your life then when will you have the time to say yes to the right things? Your precious time and energy should be spend toward the things that matter the most to you and fit in with your purpose .
Step #5 : Build a Dream Team
You have a dream you need to learn to network for support you need in bringing those dreams into reality. No one is an Island. Seek out friends and family who will cheer you on! Don't put anyone on your team who is negative and not encouraging to you. Find experts who can help you get what you want. Invest in things that will support your goals which is investing in yourself.
Step#6: Practice Patience
We live in a "I want it all and now society " , and all things take due time. The Bible says, in due time if we faint not we will reap our Reward. Make Patience a part of your vocabulary.
Patience is not about being lazy or stagnation. Patience is about understanding the principles of "Due Time", understanding the realistic steps you need to take to get to where you want to go and realizing it will take more than a day to get there. Patience is tracking your progress and knowing one day you will get to that place you want to be.
Step # 7: Keep your sense of Humor
Don't take life too seriously . See the Humor in things. Don't sweat the small stuff as they say. Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself now and then. Finding some humor in everyday life is vital. Humor helps keep your head clear so you can think problems out and see creative solutions. If we get caught up in anger, frustration and worry, we’re not going to find the answers we need.
Time to reboot our goals and reframing our outlook on life will help. Have a great weekend!
Spend sometime thinking about your life and your goals so you can start next week off on the right foot. God Bless! Paulette
Sunday, August 12, 2012
When you are attempting to break old habits or make new ones. When you are trying to change from poor health habits to a new healthy life style then set some mini goals and reward yourself alone the way. Reward yourself for your discipline, perseverance and persistence in altering your diet, exercise , quitting smoking, reducing your alcoholic intake, getting to bed early, getting up early , drinking more water etc.
Remember you are not a Dog, so do not reward yourself with food or laying around doing nothing like a dog. It is good to give yourself rest when you are truly tired , but not as a reward. Most of us are in the habit of treating ourselves and our families like pets. Do these remarks sound familiar to you?
You didn't cry when you got your shot so the Nurse rewarded you with a Lollipop.
Your Mother told you if you finished everything on your plate she would reward you with desert.
Your team won a game so your coach rewarded you with ice cream or pizza .
Do your chores and you can have some candy.
You work so hard today that you deserve a stop by the doughnut shop.
How can a poor food choice be a good reward for living a healthy life style. We need to rise above treating ourselves like animals.
Do you reward yourself when you work hard with a day of no physical exertion?
I was raised to think that was a treat you gave yourself too. It is ok to take a nap or to eat a desert now and then , but these should not be thought of as rewards. Use a little creativity to reward yourself for a job well done or for reaching a mini goal.
Here are a few suggestions
1. Buy a book from your favorite author
2. Buy some fresh cut flowers for your home or office
3. Relax for awhile in a bubble bath in a candle light bathroom
4. Buy yourself a new CD
5. Get a new purse, shoes or outfit
6. Buy a pack of stars like our teachers use to put on our papers for a job well done and stick them on your calendar each day you exercise or make goal of your choice. Maybe each day you go without smoking etc.
7. Go to the movies
8. Treat yourself to some fun activity like bowling or skating etc.
9. Take a mini vacation , weekend get away .
10. Get a massage, manicure, or pedicure
11. Go to a concert
12. Have a spa treatment at a spa or at home
13. Buy a nice piece of Jewellery
Sharing a few thoughts with you. God Bless. Paulette
Sunday, July 29, 2012
30 things ....
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, my Mother named me after a Movie Actress name Paulette Goddard
2. Where were you born?
3. What color is your eyes? Blue
4. Were you thin or fat as a child?
5. Do you stay in contact with childhood friends?
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes, I am a nice person and lots of fun to be around.
7. What is your favorite exercise? Walking
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you think is your best body part?
10. WHAT IS your lest favorite body part?
My big waist
11. What do you noticed first on others?
12. How many Children do you have ? 3 children 7 Grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren
13. Red or Pink?
14. Tattoos ?
No , My grandson has enough for the whole family. LOL
15. Do you like your handwriting?
16. Do you have pierced ears?
Yes , but that is all I have pierced.
17. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
18. WHAT is your favorite Vegetable ?
19. WHAT is your favorite fruit?
20. What kind of music do you like?
All kinds! Love Music!
21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Fresh cut grass, air after the rain, food cooking , Chantilly Lace , Scented Candles, flowers, baby powder.
22. Favorite Sports to watch on the Olympics ?
Gymnastics and swimming
23. What are you reading now ?
"When to eat what"
"Live what you love"
24? Do you have any pets?
Not at this time , but Love Pets
25? Are you married?
26? Green or Blue?
27?What color is your hair? Golden Blond
28? Do you believe in God? Yes, I believe God , created us and the world for himself. We fell out of grace with him and he redeemed us by the blood of Lamb Jesus Christ his son.
John 3: 16 : For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
30? Do you like answering questions? Yes, and I like asking them too! LOL If you have any questions you would like to ask of me here is your chance. Ask whatever you want.
God bless each of you this coming week. Keep pressing on. Hugs, Paulette
Saturday, June 09, 2012
Remember, learning to be assertive takes time and practice. The longer you have been too passive or aggressive , the longer it might be to change. Start with baby steps. If you slip back into your old behavior forgive yourself and keep on pushing forward.
It takes work to change our behavior , but the payoff will be worth it. If after awhile you find you are not making any progress then consider formal assertiveness training or enlisting the help of a life coach . If issues of anger, anxiety or fear keep getting in your way you might want to consider a Christian Counselor.
Here are some tips I have found to be helpful in becoming more assertive:
1) Assess your style. Do you voice your opinions or remain silent? Do you say yes to additional work even when your plate is full?(Passive Behavior) Are you quick to judge or blame? Do people seem to dread or fear talking to you?( Too Aggressive ) Understand your style so you will know what changes you need to make.
2) Use 'I' statements. Using "I" statements lets others know what you're thinking without sounding accusatory. For instance, say, "I disagree," rather than, "You're wrong." Attacking someone and telling them they are wrong is aggressive behavior . Saying "I disagree with you" , is Assertive Behavior . Not speaking up and giving your opinion is passive behavior.
( This tip is from Web Md) Years ago I learned this tip , but when I used it with someone very aggressive they shot back and said " You are so self centered! Listen to how many times you say "I" . LOL So it don't work with all people , but most it does.
3) Practice saying no. If your too passive and you say yes when you want to say no. Don't be pushed into a decision . If you have a hard time turning down requests, try saying, "I will think about it and get back with you " . Then rehearse ahead of time what you want to say , but don't beat around the bush — be direct. If an explanation is appropriate, keep it brief. If your too aggressive and prone to want everything your way all the time then maybe you need to take more time to think about your answer as well and consider saying yes once in awhile. If you say No all the time soon you will having others backing away from you because you are too disagreeable .
4) Use body language. Communication isn't just verbal. Act confident even if you aren't feeling it. Keep an upright posture, but lean forward a bit. Make regular eye contact. Maintain a neutral or positive facial expression. Don't look down at the floor (Passive) or they might think you are unsure of yourself and push you harder to do what they want. Don't use dramatic gestures because you don't want to come across as too aggressive.
(this tip is from Web MD)
5) Keep emotions in check. Do you get too angry when discussing conflict? Do you cry? . Although these feelings are normal, they can get in the way of resolving conflict. If you feel too emotional going into a situation, wait a bit if possible. Work on remaining calm. Check your breath to see if you are breathing slowly . If not then take a few seconds to calm your breathing down taking long slow breaths . Be firm , but don't shout . Usually because I am not firm enough in the start it seems to lead me into shouting to be heard or taken serious. So make sure you start off firm .
6) Start small. Become aware of your behavior because knowledge must come before change. Make of list of when you think you are too passive or too aggressive. Have a game plan to start making small steps toward being more assertive and less passive or aggressive. If given a chance rehearse what you are going to say and how you are going to say it in a firm voice making eye contract with the person you are talking to. Afterwards evaluate yourself and think about how you could of handled a situation like this better next time. With a thought and effort you can change your communication style. Don't allow others to walk all over you nor should you become too aggressive and not show respect for others opinions. Everyone has a right to their own opinions . It is ok to disagree .
Thanks for stopping by and reading my thoughts for today. Paulette
Get An Email Alert Each Time 2BE-MY-BEST Posts