251NEVERAGAIN   504
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Fell off, Hopping back on

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Well about two weeks ago now I went down to the Ohio state fair to braid horse manes and my sister got back in town. Bad news bears. Skinny sister + fair food+ skinny sister always wanting to go get fair food=bad. Then last week was our county fair which i stay at all week because I volunteer to help the horse kids in my moms 4-h club. So once again bad news bears, skinny sister + fair food + pot luck dinners+ people constantly asking if I would like some= me falling off the wagon hard core. I never realized that peer pressure also pertains to food and eating. I'm soooooooo upset with myself for this.

On top of all that, last Thursday (at the fair) I was informed by my mother that my aunt Debbie has 6wks-6months to live. She has stage 4 cancer in her lungs and brain. She stayed with us Thursday night and had called her husband around 11pm to let him know she was staying with us at the fair and that she was turning off her cell phone. She had a pedicure scheduled for 9:00am on Friday morning, I drove her home and dropped her off at 8:30. I got back to the fair around 10:00am and my mother was bawling her eyes out I had no idea what was going on. She pulled me aside and told me my uncle Dale (Debbie's husband) was killed in a multiple car accident that morning on his way to work. So I am emotionally drained, and dont even know how to explain my thoughts on all of that right now. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I was sooooooo sad and on top of it felt horrible about the fact that she prolly turned her cell on right after i left her and got the messages that something was wrong. It's just horrible.

On top of that, later that night my little brother Tyler got arrested AGAIN, this time for underage drinking and he has 18 months in prison hanging over his head. Then last night I get a phone call letting me know that they moved him to the psych ward of a hospital because he told officers he just wanted to die. I feel like my whole world and my family is falling apart around me and I dont know what to do. I'm an emotional eater and this is sooooo crazy its making me sick to my stomach, I dont know how much more I can handle.

I know none of this was really complete thoughts but I had to get some of it out of my head.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STARSHINE123 8/11/2011 8:34AM

    Fortunately, we arent' really riding on a wagon, so there's no such thing as really falling off!

It's all choices! And you can ALWAYS try to make better choices today no matter WHAT you did yesterday or last week or last year!!!

Don't be too hard on yourself...none of us are good at dieting, but we just have to keep learning!

YAYYY!

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Smoking

Saturday, July 23, 2011

So I am quitting smoking along with implementing my new healthy lifestyle and it's not too bad but then again I'm only on day 2 with no smokes, I told myself the last pack i bought was my very last pack i would ever buy. I have one left, I've decided I will never smoke it because it will keep me from breaking down, this way i know that if i get sooooo upset that I feel like i need a cigarette I wont smoke it because then they will be gone and if i needed another I would have to buy more which I can't do. So I'm done :) (it makes sense to me at least)

I also seen 219 on the scale today, thats the first time I've seen the 2teens since. . . . .at least 5 years ago. I'm on cloud 9 today :D

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

251NEVERAGAIN 8/4/2011 1:25PM

    Thanks everyone! ive smoked 4 since this post and havent had a.cig in a week :)

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MISSPARKER123 7/25/2011 1:35AM

    good for you giving up the cigs! i gave them up to after smoking almost 15 years!! you look amazing btw!!

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FITTINGIN130 7/23/2011 8:31PM

    Way to go. You got this!

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GETSTRONGRRR 7/23/2011 8:16PM

    Good on you.....it's a tough thing to do, but it does get better and easier.

I quite in 2007, then started running. At first it was terrible.

8 months later, I ran a marathon.

Believe me, if I can do it, anybody can do it!

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DANE02 7/23/2011 7:34PM

    Making progress and looking great! Wish you all the best and continued success

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TERRI77 7/23/2011 5:16PM

    emoticon

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BRANDISMARG 7/23/2011 4:15PM

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