Thursday, October 31, 2013
Where am I??? If you told me 20 years ago that I was going to be at the weight or fitness level that I am right now, I wouldn't have believed you. I used to LOVE to exercise. I used to get up most mornings before work and get out and walk or use my weight machine. I didn't struggle with it. I didn't always feel like getting up and doing it, but I knew I would feel so much better after, mentally and physically, if I did it. I felt good and healthy. I had energy. I always felt that I would be exercising for the rest of my life and would be in good shape, even in my senior years.
Fast forward to today. I'm no where near that same person today. My weight has sky rocketed and I have a hard time getting ANY exercise in at all. I struggle with being consistent with any healthy habits, from drinking water to exercising to eating healthy. I struggle a lot with cooking right now too. I just don't feel like doing it most nights. I'm tired and it just seems easier to have the DH pick something up, even though most of the time we don't even enjoy the take out food and we're tired of EVERYTHING because we've had just about everything. But at least it gets me out of cooking, right??? Argh!
I struggle with taking care of myself. I take care of everyone/everything else, but neglect myself all the time. I tell myself that I just don't have time to take care of myself. No time to exercise. I'm NOT a priority. If I heard anyone else saying those things about themselves, I'd say you ARE important. You need to take care of yourself first. But I don't follow my own advice. I feel like I've really lost myself and don't even recognize myself anymore.
In 2009, my weight was up and I was miserable. So I decided to try to lose weight. I put my all into it and was within 5 lbs of my weight loss goal. Then life got hard in 2010, and I started putting weight on again. I put on what I had lost, and MUCH more. I'm at my highest weight EVER. And feeling just as miserable as I was back in 2009. Just as hopeless. I'm embarrassed to see people, that I haven't seen in years because of it. I hate clothes shopping now. It isn't fun anymore. I keep having to get the next size up. It's still unbelievable to me. Social events aren't fun anymore. I just want to hide at home and not face people.
So that's where I am. Not where I want to be...I am going to start making myself a priority this November. I need to/want to start turning things around. I can't go on like this. I don't want to go on like this. It scares me. It's scary how easy it is for me to put on weight right now. I can see me just going higher and higher. And if I feel this overwhelmed right now, how would I feel later??? It scares me when I see my Gram, and other patients, in the nursing home. So dependent on everyone to get them where they need/want to go. I see them struggle to walk, if they can even walk. I don't want that to be me. I want to always be as independent and as healthy as I can be. It scares meto think what I'm doing to my health. I worry about having a heart attack or getting type 2 diabetes. I don't want to go through that! I need to turn things around NOW.
My plan for November...
-----Get in atleast 10 min a day of exercise. I need to work on consistency, so I need to start out slow. I can do more than 10 min, if I want. But at LEAST 10 min a day.
---Drink at least 8 cups of water a day.
---Get in 2 Strength training wrkts a week. I really struggle with these wrkts and know how important they are. I don't care if they are only 10 min wrkts for now. I just need to get going on them.
These 3 things are going to be my focus for the month. I CAN do this!!! And so can YOU!!!
Monday, April 01, 2013
March was NOT a good month. I only ended up working out 7 days all month! ARGH!!! Could it get any worse??? I'm determined to make April 100% better.
I am still struggling with my insomnia, but I'm hoping that some exercise, along with the sleeping pills, will get me on the right track. I also found out that my thyroid is a little out of wack. So I'm taking something for that now. She said it is only slightly messed up and she thinks it might be because of the lack of sleep. So maybe getting that taken care of will help too:-)
I did lose a few pounds in March. Not a lot, but it does feel good to see my weight moving in the right direction again. And at least I can see that I'm still capable of losing, in spite of my slow metabolism
Looking forward to seeing what I can get done this month. Bathing suit season is coming!
Sunday, March 03, 2013
So, the habit that I wanted to work on this week is to eat consistently every 3 hrs without skipping meals. I've been doing OK so far. I had my breakfast by 8:30. Which was a little late, but something I can work on this week. I had a fruit smoothie around 11 and then my lunch around 1. So not bad. My meals don't have to be exactly 3 hrs apart, I just don't want to be over 3 hrs. Eating breakfast later threw me off a little. I plan to have an apple and 1/4 C of cashews for a snack around 4 and then dinner by 7. So that's my plan and I'm sticking to it! I think if I keep it up and get myself more active, I should be able to get my metabolism moving again.
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