Thursday, January 27, 2011
Another tough day of lugging boxes at work - I'm exhausted.
Car having more problems - gave the garage 1 more chance to do right, they didn't, I've already found a new garage to go to that advertises only by word of mouth. Says a lot when they don't have to use discount cards and huge signs to bring you in.
The guy called - talked for 40 mins and he just listened to whatever I was tossing out there (Supernatural and car stuff mainly).
Too many bills, not enough money, and dwindling savings... what else is new.
Is tomorrow really Friday? Seems too good to be true. I need to sleep in!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Quick note: When the guy called this evening, twice, I didn't pick up. If he asks, I "accidentally forgot to turn the ringer back on after work". In reality, I just wasn't up to talking to him tonight. He left a vm saying he will call tomorrow. Okay then.
I'm trying to decide what to do this Friday evening. I can stay at home and watch Supernatural and maybe a movie or something else, I can drive 1.5hr each way to see my friends Quietdrive (band), or I can drive a half hour each way to see my friends CherryGun (cover band). Staying home means being a little lazy but also eating properly and hanging out on SP, plus minimal stress. Going to see Quietdrive means a lot of driving, a lot of rushing, a lot of stress, not being able to eat quite like I should, and dealing with crazed fans that will squish me - but I get to see my friends and get out of the house. Going to see CherryGun would definitely be fun, wouldn't horribly mess up my eating schedule, isn't a long or bad drive, but it is a small and crowded bar with a bunch of drunks around and parking by it is usually horrible. So I've gotta decide this.
Looks like I've gained back the 2 lbs I lost last week during my GP flare-up. It is a good thing, since after health problems caused me to lose 30 lbs since the end of 2009, I'm only about 10 lbs from being underweight and can't afford to keep losing more. (Those who are here to lose weight, please don't hold this against me - having my body starve me was horrible and painful and scary and there is nothing good about that weight loss.) I'm doing my best to keep my stress down so hopefully I won't have another GP flare-up for awhile.
As a final note, I want to say I am so proud of my SP friends who have been working hard to do a little better every day and are making progress in so many different ways. You, my friends, mean a lot to me and I am PROUD to know you! It gives me joy every time I can support you. You have helped me by sharing your ups and downs and your support, as well as giving me the opportunity to support you in any way I can. THANK YOU!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Long day at work + already tired means I dozed on the couch for a bit during the evening news. Oops. Think I had a little too much fiber today (still trying to build back from last week) so my stomach is a little annoyed. But I'm hanging in there.
As for the guy, he was calling again tonight. He asked to come over again. I think I need to spell it out for him - I'm not ready for him to come to my house, I'm not going to sleep with him, and I am definitely not ready to have him all up in my life. At the same time, I'm pretty certain he isn't married. He's younger than me so he wants to party - I get that. In the past I throw guys away so easily because they tend to annoy me, but I want to stop doing that and at least learn how to open my life to let others in now and again. If he is bad, he will blow it soon enough and then I'll put my foot down. I'm making this about me, not about him.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The guy I talked to on the phone last night called in the middle of the night drunk asking to come to my house to 'sober up'. I didn't pick up the phone but he left this on my voicemail. That wasn't a smart idea, but whatever. He called around noon to ask about doing something later today. I offered up a movie and we planned which one at what time and I said I would meet him there. So I showered, made dinner for myself, and was starting to put on a little makeup when he called to cancel.
He said his sister and her boyfriend just got into a car accident and he had to go to the hospital to be with his family. But he would try to get out of there soon enough to come to my house before I went to bed. Well, there are some things going on here: my head is telling me this is just a joke and he was making an excuse to not go out with me... also I have to wonder after the 3am phone call if the reason he keeps asking to just come to my house is that he wants what I'm not willing to give. I keep finding ways to not have him come over because I do not want someone I just met coming to my house. Plus if he wants just a one night stand, I am worth more than that and it will not happen. Even with that, there is an honest possibility that he is a decent guy who just wants to see me so that's why he keeps asking to come over and that his sister did really get hurt and that's the real reason he cancelled.
This is one of those times I'm glad I didn't get my hopes up. I try to never get my hopes up, as I am usually let down horribly every time I do. At most I was thinking I could just spend some time with this guy to see what happens, while sticking to what I want and do not want from a guy. It's okay... I'm turning 30 this June and haven't had anything semi-resembling a date in over 5 years, and haven't had a boyfriend in going on 11 years. I've learned how to be totally independent and single (even if I don't like it), so having just having a guy ask me out is a shock.
Speaking of my birthday, I'm trying to figure out what to do for my bday, since it is supposed to be a milestone. A party is a bad idea, since no one will come and I don't have money for it anyways. But I do have the idea that I want to do some glamourshots type thing. I've wanted to since I was in my mid teens, but never did. I'm thinking I should do it this year if I can find a place to do it at. I want my hair and makeup done, possibly have wardrobe provided (if it isn't completely expensive), and have some nice pictures taken. Has anyone done something like that; if so what company did you use?
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