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I need some advice from my gastroparesis team

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

When your GP acts up and you can't seem to get food or drinks in or keep it in, what do you do? How do you make it through the day? Do you call your doctor? Do you go on with your routine (besides meals) like usual?

Right now I'm trying to force some ensure in, but it is not going well. Even drinking water last night had me gagging. My stomach is cramped and my intestines are hurting badly. I'm sure this is mainly due to severe stress right now, but as much as I'm trying to lessen it, it is getting even worse every day. Since I live alone, I have to do everything - from grocery shopping and cooking to shoveling snow every other day. I absolutely cannot take off of work - I've been there just over a month and if I don't go to work I will be instantly let go. It is my only source of income and with a mortgage and bills to cover alone, plus a dying car, I can't be without it as last year ravaged my savings.

Other people think I should call one of the half dozen doctors I saw last year, but even if they can get me an appointment in less than 2 months, I can't take leave from work. So I have to wonder if it is worth it - I doubt there is much they can do besides put me on medication (which I'm severely susceptible to side effects so I don't want meds) or put me in the hospital in a few weeks if I haven't started eating again (which then I lose my job).

I'm falling apart here, as even when I'm eating 1800-2000 cals/day I can't seem to stop losing weight. Now the past few nights I can't sleep either. I'm definitely not thinking straight, so I have no idea what to do at this point.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM2ACAT 1/19/2011 3:46PM

    Mine has never gotten to that point yet, but if it gets any worse, I would go to the ER, and if you need to miss work to do it, show them your discharge papers that will prove to them that you have been in the ER. And you should definately try to get into a doctor.

If it gets to the point were you are throwing up and can't keep water down, you may have to go to the ER for fluids. I had to do a that about 7 years, when I had a bad bout of nausea and vomiting with chemo.

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Your best wishes would be appreciated

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Quick and to the point, skipping MANY things:
Several awful days in a row made my GP get bad enough that I had to skip dinner tonight. I ate lunch at 12:30-1 then some snack items from 2-4 (several items, eaten slowly, with time between). Then too many things crashed around me all over again and I was fighting to not throw up until after 8pm. At which point I decided to make a run to the Mall of America to buy my boots (maybe I can post a link or picture in a few days). Got home and spent an hour shoveling 1.5" from my driveway and sidewalk (it is 20* now, high of 8* tomorrow, so it was now or it sits for the rest of the week). Got inside at 11pm. I still have to shower and get 2 more glasses of water, then I'm going to try to have dessert to get into my nutrition ranges (and hope my GP has relaxed enough so I don't throw up). Then hopefully I can get 5-6 hours of sleep (only got 3.5 last night due to one of my MASSIVE headaches hitting just before I went to bed).

I desperately need some low stress days otherwise I have the feeling my stomach and intestines are going to shut down for a few days again. So sending a few best wishes my way would be appreciated!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM2ACAT 1/18/2011 7:02PM


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SIMPLY_RAE 1/18/2011 2:02AM

    I'm sorry to hear about the rough times!!!! Just hang in there!!! I hope everything is better for ya tomorrow! I'll keep my fingers crossed!!!!!!!

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My GP was acting up today.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Today was not great. Even though I slept in a bit, I was just totally exhausted, felt sick, and my GP was acting up. So I spent a lot of the day on the couch. I definitely needed a relax day, but I was hoping to do something at least.

I'm trying to figure out what is going on with my GP - why is it acting up sometimes but not others when I'm eating mostly the same things every day? So I added a new tracker on my weigh/measure log for how good my digestive system is working each day. I already track my weight every day (some days I randomly drop 2-3 lbs and can't figure out why, so I have to watch it), as well as stress level, sleep quality, energy level, and self esteem level. I'm hoping that by adding this new tracker with everything else I might be able to figure out why my GP randomly acts up some days.

WARNING: the following may be TMI for you if you don't want to hear about digestive system problems! If you're grossed out by this stuff, skip the next paragraph please!

I know my GP is affected by stress: when I was a kid if I ate when I was stressed I would throw up. After dealing with some eating disorders in my teens and early 20s it is now rare for me to throw up and if I feel nauseous from being sick I can usually stop myself from involuntarily throwing up. I know a lot of that last sentence affects and/or worsens my GP, but this is the way it is now and I can't go back and change it. But after today, I'm wondering if it is affecting my intestines as well. See, last night my stomach was hurting (hello gastroparesis), then this morning my stomach was only sore but my intestines were hurting. This afternoon my body released some undigested food and my intestines felt better. I have times like this, where my body decides not to digest something that it doesn't have problems with at other times. So if the food isn't causing the problem, is it a sudden jump in stress level doing it? If so, I'm screwed because I can't seem to get the constant stress out of my life! It could also be a lack of sleep, and I'm trying to correct that, but it is proving as hard to do as ever.

So with my GP acting up, my body deciding to be extra cold, and because I felt so tired, I just couldn't justify going anywhere. Bummer, but it's okay because I watched and deleted a couple hours of shows on my DVR (I needed to do that).

I'm going to go to bed in a few minutes (already showered and in my pjs) and try to get some good sleep. Hoping for less GP issues tomorrow so I can go to the grocery store, try to do some laundry, and consider going to get my boots. If I'm up to it, I might even finally get around to taking down the xmas decorations I still have up in my house.

I'm finishing this by giving my positives for today: My GP was acting up but I still got all my food in and spent some time sitting up instead of on the couch the entire day. I cleaned up some of my DVR. And I got my cat to spend some time cuddling with me again today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANDI99P 1/16/2011 5:46PM

    Sorry that you had a bad day, but its a good thing that you found the positive in it!

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MOM2ACAT 1/16/2011 4:13PM

    I have intestinal pain when my GP is acting up too; I think when one part of the GI system is having problems, it affects the whole system. I also think that at times, my food is not only sluggish moving through my stomach but through the intestinal tract too. I also have chemo once per week which causes constipation; and while I am not usually in complete misery, it is still uncomfortable.

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A positive-negative-positive sandwich about today

Friday, January 14, 2011

I am trying, but unfortunately I'm not feeling quite positive today. Even so, I'm not feeling quite negative either. I'm just exhausted and bummed. Time for a positive-negative-positive sandwich!

P: Got out of work at 12:30 and was able to run some errands before the snow started getting annoying. (And before the roads became full of accidents and parking lots.)
N: When I got gas in my car, I found that the button to switch between trip mileage and odometer is now completely not working. So I went right to the mechanic to tell them that when the ripped apart my dashboard a few weeks back to fix it, they broke more than they fixed (was supposed to fix the dash lights, but now console lights don't work and other things).
P: They are fixing my car for free since it is under their 12 month or 12,000 mile warranty. I also got a free loaner.
N: The brakes on the loaner are crap. You either have to start dragging the brakes a quarter mile before you have to stop, or you stop dead cold (I got a headache from the first 3 stops). They have no idea how long it will take to "fix" my car, which means I will have to take this pos loaner to work on Monday - right in the middle of yet another major snowstorm during morning rush hour.
P: I came home and got to spend most of the day online and on SP. My cat decided to spend some time cuddling with me today which did make me smile and feel slightly better for the moment.
N: I'm exhausted due to not getting enough sleep on any night this week because I've had so much to do. I wanted to take a nap, but it didn't happen. I wanted to shovel the deck before the snow really started flying, but I was so cold by the time I got home that it took over an hour before I could feel my hands, feet, and legs properly - so that wasn't going to happen.
P: Since I shouldn't go to bed extra early, I'm watching the Wild game. This is the first time in like 3+ weeks that it is on the local channel instead of the sports channels that I won't pay for. Glad to get to see the game instead of just reading about it online!
N: Because of the loaner situation, now I'm not sure if I'm going to get my boots tomorrow. It is a very bad idea to drive a car with bad brakes on snowy roads when you don't absolutely have to. So I will have to see how the roads look tomorrow to decide if I will risk it or wait until I have my car back.
P: I can sleep in for a little while tomorrow and don't have much to do, so I will be attempting to take a relaxation day and watch some movies or shows on my dvr to remove from my life for a little while (something I need to do for my mental health).
N: After the stress about my car, I came home and ate simple carbs - hard candy and gelatin candy. Eating a bunch of simple carbs tend to make me tired and sad, even though my sweet tooth loves the sugar. I need to have them in the house though, because when I run out of the fiber, fat, and protein that my GP allows me to have, if I need more calories I have to go with simple carbs.
P: Even though I had too many simple carbs, I'm still within all of my nutrition goals. I don't get to have my usual ice cream or sundae cone for dessert, but it isn't a big deal as I'm too tired to enjoy it anyways.

Biggest positive of the day: Finding out that I inspired Mandi99P to look for the positives in her life. I'm so glad I was able to show her a way to take a step towards better. Good job gal!

Today wasn't what I was hoping for, but I've hung in there without totally losing my positives. Plus today is almost over and I am believing tomorrow will be better!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANDI99P 1/15/2011 10:18AM

    Its a good thing that you can still see the positives through all the bad. Keep your head up!

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Recognize the positive

Friday, January 14, 2011

This is an incredible feeling: I've felt quite positive all day! It is rare for me to be so positive for such a long period of time. Something usually comes along to crash down on me. But I have been making a conscious choice to do my best to be positive the past few days. I will see how well it is working when the next huge negative comes along... hopefully I will be able to get through it easier than I have before. Negatives come with being alive - it is how we respond that determines its effect on us. That is my biggest challenge.

I feel like listing a few of the positives coming up for me in the next few days:
1) I get to leave work early tomorrow and miss the snow storm at rush hour! I'm planning on coming home, shoveling off my deck (which I haven't done in about 2 weeks so it really needs it!), then either having the first lazy evening in over a week or choosing something to do in my house that needs to get done. I'll decide that when the time comes.
2) On Saturday I get to buy a pair of boots! I've been wanting an awesome pair of knee-high heeled boots for years but was never willing to spend the money out of my budget. For Xmas my aunt & uncle sent me a little spending money so I got a gift card for my favorite shoe store so I could get an extra $10 gift card and add to my buying power. The thing is the $10 card is only good from January 15-30 so I've held onto it for a month. So now I finally get to buy my boots!
3) The most basic positive is I get paid tomorrow.

I know there is more, but I'm too tired to remember them right this minute. So I'm getting myself to bed. I hope everyone who reads this has at least 1 (preferably more!) positive thing happen tomorrow.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM2ACAT 1/14/2011 4:27PM

    Have fun shopping for your boots!

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SIMPLY_RAE 1/14/2011 11:58AM

    Woohoo!! It's amazing how positive thoughts can really make days a heck of a lot brighter!!!! Yay to you gettin off work early and to new boots! You deserve them!!!!!! emoticon

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MANDI99P 1/14/2011 11:07AM

    Good for you for staying positive. I tend to be a negative person, and you have inspired me to start listing every day in my journal at least one positive thing that day, even if its something small.

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