Sunday, April 14, 2013
I have not attained my goal that I set on SparkPeople last year to lose 100 pounds. I started off strong and lost steam. Iím still proud of how I performed before I lost steam. I guess I experienced what most have or will experience doing this journey, doubt of self. People told me they saw the loss but I couldnít see it and the scale wouldnít show me what I wanted. So I lost steam and stopped. I only succeeded at not gaining all the weight I had lost back completely. The success was mild at that, I gained only 5 more than the original number that I posted when I started SP. What I know now is that SP can help you attain your goals but belief has to come from inside, daily reinforcement and habitual activity not to mention better if not healthy eating.
I have better eating habits, better than I ever have before. I make green smoothies, soups and eat at least 3 pieces of fruit in addition to this daily and I'm in love with it all. I donít feel like Iím starving or that I am forcing myself. I found some positive benefits which is that I have more energy and I can control the sugar urges. I ate some sweet potato casserole on Easter Sunday which usually tastes great to me but it was off putting due to all the sugar. I believe this is due to increase in my veggie/fruit. I am consuming them in their purest form so the taste was off putting to me and strangely exciting. I believe because I am eating better that I am realizing that I can enjoy food without mounds of additives and this is coolness personified. I give into occasional urges less than ever as I am learning to control them but I reward myself every once in a while to stave off binging.
Next is activity. I started doing light activities like walking the dog and walking to work instead of riding the bus which is a 15 minute ride and now I walk that in 15 minutes or less. This is awesome to me since walking is my favorite activity, because I never considered it work. I had a breakthrough or an epiphany and thought that maybe if I consider the activity less work and more relaxation or fun that I likely to do it. Question to self was why not walk all the time? I donít have to pay anyone to teach me, I can do it in good and bad weather and I have done it in both, it doesnít take any special equipment so why not! I started walking with a friend at work for lunch, I like her, she challenges me , makes me walk harder and we show up for each other which made me show up for a friend for after work walks twice a week. She was feeling low and I offered to walk with her to get the stress off, spend time and lose weight if possible. She is inspired so I worked with her for a plan at job and sheís doing it and says sheís happy. So workout buddies are important. I now go to the gym and walk when I was planning to do nothing, walked 4.5 miles Friday after work to walk off residual negativity from work and I felt great and even sprinted out the last quarter mile. Me and the BF have decided that we want fitness to be like breathing to us and I like this idea.
I delve into my psychy and I know that I was never a fit person and always saw being active as a chore and was pretty slim as a child and a bookworm at that. No outside for me, fell off my bike once and never got on, skinned my knee skating and never tried again, jumping rope took skill so no to that, books just took knowing how to read. Yeah, I wished I wouldnít have been scared about it all then so now I am just being a walking, talking Nike logo and just doing it or trying to. An SP friend (Sexbobomb) posted that she was trying to do 1000 minutes this month and hell, that seemed daunting to me but after I got 100 down I thought why not, I want that for self and here I am 360 minutes away from my goal so thanks Mrs. Badass for the inspiration to keep up.
I guess what I have learned is that even with loss of motivation, somewhat good eating habits, non-activity that I can still have a do over and learn to succeed this time and letís not forget a healthy dose of prayer cause this gives me energy and faith when I have none to get.
I learned Ė that food can be liked in its regular form and taste great
I learned Ė that endorphins really do make you happy and make you want to do more
I learned Ė that the scale is an object that shows you an alternate reality of what is and what could be and you choose what it shows, just not how fast it shows itÖlol
I learned - that I may never be the size I once was, but the future me can be a great combo of health and curves and still be fit
I leaned - not to be afraid of my own fit beast and to let it out more, love it and to treat activity as more of relaxation than a chore
I learned - to show up for self and that it can lead you to show up for others and foster change in more than just my life
I know Ė that through God, prayer, faith, belief, and positivity that all things are possible so I pray before, during and after and I love myself more than ever even when my scale or body shows what I donít want to see
Change is a coming, slowly but it will be hereÖ..the caterpillar does not turn into a butterfly overnight so starts the process. When will you start, join me!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Today is my 1year spark Anniversary. 1 year ago, I needed help doing Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred and googled support and it led me to a spark team link for Jillian. I tried to post and was told that you have to be a member to post here. So I signed up and here I am, 1 sparky year later. What a year it has been with moving forward, backwards, achieving success, and losing momentum. I say again, what a year it has been! It has brought me triumphs, most notably completing that 30 day shred every day for 30 days and Iím still really proud of that. It has given me a true twin in my Spark Sister Sassljb and my adorable awesome one Meretoni, Sonia, Cherry666, Sexbobomb, Out-of-ashes, Pcolagator, Worldseries, MyTime2Shine, Mz.Perseverence and many other wonderful spark people to bond with. I still really love this part of SP where I get to meet new members and sharing my story while learning theirs.
But I grew impatient with the course for losing and fell back into my old habits which led to a temporary SP sabbatical but my faithful friends checked in so I checked in albeit temporarily. I decided in late December 2012 that I wasnít being fair to me or my friends so I decided to become more consistent with logging in every day. It worked; I havenít missed a day on purpose since this decision. While this was awesome, I still didnít want to blog, I had no words and still no desire to work out or really eat well. I pondered how to completely get on track, with no answer. I prayed but not with my whole heart and I thought but not with my whole brain.
But still I came back to SP every day and then on Monday, I felt rejuvenated but not sprung into action quite yet. I have a new plan based around my faith. If heís not for you, then pass this part cause Iím all about that God life and donít care who knows. So long story short is I signed up for a bible fitness plan which is really bible study but centered on Godís words about his creation of you and how to take care of yourself through his scriptures. I love this part; I got motivated and more focused than I have been in months.
I came up with plan that involves prayer, faith, fitness and short term goals. I am not focused on losing it all at one time or doing it all every day. Maybe if I just take 1 thing at time, 1 day at time that I will get to complete my goal. I lost my boy dog in November and to those of us that donít have children, pets are that. So I grieved hard and thought about giving my girl dog up cause my heart was so hurt. I couldnít do it, I am all she knows and I love her. So first is re-establishing the bond with her by walking and we are now on day 3 of 1 hour daily walks. Food wise, I was ok most times but then binged with a passion. So next is establishing food boundaries. So cook more, eat what I cook and bring more healthy items to nibble on and on day 14 with this actually. Pray before and while working out Day 3 starts tonight. I have walk plans in place, I walk to work in the morning, plans to walk 3 times weekly with coworker at work and evening walks with my pet and Saturday morning walks with a friend. I signed up for two themed 5ks and I get to meet Jillian or at least hear her speak in person in April. So good times are a coming for this bunny and Iím geared up to hop!
Everything is in order for me to succeed now, I just have to DO. These are such small letters for the amount of work that goes into them but thatís just what I plan on doing. So SP itís been quite the ride but I wouldnít change a day of my path cause itís what life is made of. Year 2, I plan to make the most out of and keep my spark alive. Iím going to close this out with a Jerry McGuire moment, whoís coming with me?
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Who are you not to be? You are a child of God. I love this quote, especially this question as I am trying to answer it every day and I use it as my SP tagline. Truth is itís hard being you or me as the case is everyday and adding in the brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous descriptive or just happy. Most days I strive for satisfied and I am happy when I reach that state. Yet, satisfied is a constant battle, I know itís the world we live in but does it always have to be so hard? I am always the 2% of any group, if canít happen to anybody but 2%, then guess what, Iím that 2%. I donít believe in luck, only hard work and effort but these seem trivial to people who experience good luck. Life does not suck and could certainly be worse but I try to see the light despite my problems. Trouble is, that life does not always work that way and I get caught up with my ďtemporaryĒ misery.
I am a good girl. I do everything that good girls do and yet sometimes I have it hard because I get told that because I did everything right, I have to suffer for it in some way. Hardly seems fair or makes being a good girl worth the effort. I mean I am only naughty when the situation calls for it but most of the times I am a good girl and I like being this way because itís easier for me in spirit. That said when things go wrong in my world and they always do then I try to pick myself back up because itís what I always do. But the woman and the bunny in me gets tired which means I get off track with other areas of my life such as SP and weight loss lately. I have not had the energy nor the desire to fight at my weight loss. I am trying to be fabulous and talented but its hard when the curve balls that life throws keeps coming faster and I am a team of 1! I need an attitude adjustment and my fitness regime back to what it was. The bunny is resilient so I believe that everything is TEMPORARY, good or bad so I use this belief to get myself back on trackÖit works most times, other times it takes work, timing and planning.
Life gets in the way, we all know this and I am no different. Yet I try to stay committed but I havenít been very good here lately with that. I havenít been sparking, SP point counting, or blogging only commenting here and there for my friends. I feel like my SP heart has been missing. I donít want to give up what I have worked so hard for in these last few months but life problems has gotten in the way once more and I am now trying to move them to the side. So here is where the brilliant part of me kicks in and I have a plan. I am like Evita Peron so donít cry for me Sparkpeople. I have always been able to rescue myself, comes with being me. That said, I have formulated a plan to be new, cause as you all know, I believe that we can be NEW as many times as we want and come Monday, the Bunny will be NEWÖ.watch me! I will be sparking full time, back to earning all my points not just in fitness and blogging at least once a week. I have already gotten a new career gig which is working out splendidly by the way just have to change it up in other areas. So to all who have missed me and love me, Iím back and on Monday Iím NEW. Good Girls rule and we make the best bad girls, you better ask about me! Love all my SP fam, as usual, Duckies, quack quack, badasses kick ass, peaceful ones spread love, Dark siders be unique and SP you rock! Now ask me again, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Peace Frickiní BUNNY thatís who and Iím NEW! Holla back!
Monday, July 30, 2012
I feel new today, I started a new job. As a card carrying member of the non complainers union, I decided that my previous position wasnít working for me months ago and focused my energy upon finding a new one. Complaining doesnít work for me because I am a doer so I did and now itís done. I am happy about that. I will have a chance to learn new things which I love. I am also excited and feeling new about my new workout plan, JM Body Revolution, which I started today.
Itís so Killian but what else would it be? She is smiling joyously as she tortures you throughout the workout and she looks really television pretty all made up and stuff. I am going to email her and tell her that she did not really work out because she looks too cute in the DVDÖlol! There are things I like about it and some things I donít after all its Killian. She recommends a kick start week of 2 workouts per day for the start of the 1st phase to boost your metabolism then 1 workout per day for the official 1st week. Itís broken down into 3 phases somewhat setup like p-90X or Insanity from what Iíve seen of those programs.
Those familiar with me know that I have been doing Killian almost exclusively since I started to work back out and became an SP member so I was quite used to most of the exercises from previous DVDs. She changes you, I truly believe this despite the non-scale movement for me. I see changes taking place in my shape, slowly but I see them more everyday in my endurance and form. Plus I am doing it with my twin (SassyLJB) so you know we will rock it out as only we can which makes it fun and tough!
Things I like:
She keeps her promise of 30 minutes, in previous DVDs her warms ups were workouts in disguise and 30 minutes was more like 45
She challenges you in the 30 minutes even after 3 months of her, I still struggled with some parts which I like because it means it will work and mold my body
No jumping so far and the routine thus far for me is kind of easy but that just means the pain will come laterÖ.grrrr, I know ITÖle sigh!
So I did the 2 DVDs today back to back. The workout 1 DVD consist of 4 circuits that include pushups, squats, runs, yoga pose, and things like bicycle crunches and much more and you do each circuit twice.
You can add weights for exercises that you feel are too easy, I did for 2 of them and did full pushups even though she recommends modified version to start withÖso yeah peacebunny!
The cardio 1 disk for phase 1 consists of 8 exercises done 3 times in 3 circuits such as-
Marching in place
Hot feet or fast feet
Jogging in place
Speed bag punches
Kickouts and suicide runs
Sounds easy but was kind of killer but I am proud that I got all the way through it now letís see if I can repeat this tomorrow with workout 2. Time to hit the showers and that pic of Killianís face on my wallÖle sigh!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
I surprised myself today at the gym. I hadnít been since I started back working out as I had grown to love working out at home but I kept my membership cause its cost what 1 fast food meal costs per month so why give that up? I got on my old friend the treadmill and was pleasantly surprised in the first 3 minutes of activity. I previously was only doing like 3.6 speed at 7percent incline, which was strenuous for me to say the least. I upped the speed to 4.0 and the incline to 12 percent and hung in there for 31 minutes and burned 600+ calories plus I jogged the last 3 minutes. That was a you go girl moment for me.
I then switched over to the ab roller machine and did 200 crunches in 5 minutes when I used to struggleÖI sweated but I also had 40 pounds on the machine as I was crunching, not bad. I then rotated over to the weight machines where I got a look at myself. I wear black cause I like not worrying about how the sweat looks. I also looked sleeker than before because my stomach gut has decreased significantly so while I am not curvy as I want to be, I am loving the new slender block like shape, the block means that gut really has decreased. Previously it would have been a huge ball of stomach stopping the sleek profile. That said, I went to work out and got more from the machines than I bargained for. Thanks Killian because you have taught me what resistance I need for my body with your strength training lessons and posture. I previously either did too much with the weights or not enough but as they say in the 3 Little Bears, this time the weight wasÖ.just RIGHT! Surprise 2 made me feel victorious, perfect tension in weights equals successful reps and results in a muscle building workout.
I still had energy after about 35-40 minutes of strength training so I did 15 minutes on the stair climber at level 15 ( the highest level) and resistance 7. I finished with 300 calories in the hole. I have improved, I surprised myself. I didnít give up during these months but I had some not so hot moments. But the proof was in today. I am smaller, I did more, I fought against more resistance and I became a gym girl, where other gym goers admire your effort and look at you with a smile. As I was the only female strutting around in the weights with the men, they passed me head nods in acknowledgement, I was one of them. A surprise was born today and it was meÖyou go Peacebunny!
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