Saturday, July 26, 2014
I can't believe I have been on SparkPeople for the last 7 years. I weigh 40 lbs more now, than when I started, and nearly 80 lbs more than my lowest weight. To be quite honest, I haven't been here in over a year. I actually threw out my scale one day, and gave up. I have pretty much eaten whatever I wanted. Luckily I haven't really gained any weight in the last year, but you have to eat a lot, to be where I am. I really would like to lose weight. It's becoming more difficult for me to find fashionable clothes. I'm too embarrassed to even meet up with old friends when they are in town. I miss going out (not that I have the chance), but I wonder what I would wear, or if people would make fun of me. I don't really have a plan this time. If I get really structured, then I tend to form very unhealthy ideas about food and eating, so I don't want to go that route. I think I am just going to make little changes here and there, and hope that they counteract my bad choices. My coal is to lose around 25 lbs this year, but even if it's 10, it will be a success.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
I obviously didn't keep up with my food blog. It was partly because of the weird stares from coworkers when I capture my food shame on film, and partially because I was too tired to get on here at night. However, I have been in here entering my weight about once a week. I actually was losing for a little. It wasn't because of my great new outlook on life, but stress. I've had tons o drama with childcare issues, and the list goes on. When I get super stressed....I just stop eating. That was why I lost like 5 lbs, that I have already gained back. I am getting relay frustrated with this whole weight loss thing. I'm about in tears at this point, and considering the idea of bariatric surgery. I have seen several friend slim down, and become the people I always knew they were on the inside. I have also watched them have chronic health problems like ulcers. I even had one friend pass away hours after her surgery ( the part that scares me). I have two kids, and that is such a huge risk, but I also feel like I'm on a road to self destruction over my weight. I have pain everywhere in my body, I'm always tired, I can do the things I sued to even 30 lbs ago, and it's frustrating when nothing looks good on you, or you can enjoy doing things with your kids. Blah.
I have inquired about bariatric surgery in the past, I'd say about 6 years ago. I was told that once I lost 10% I would n longer be big enough. I'm fairly certain that now I would possibly qualify, and my health factors would play into it this time as well . I just feel like it's cheating, or that people would think less of me because I did it. I would love to have my old life back. Hec, I'd like to walk on my feet without pain, and not have a fat face. I'm sure if I bring it up the Dr will just try to give me advice in how to change my lifestyle. I know all this already, but it obviously hasn't worked. I just want to be the person on the outside, that I know I am on the inside. What do you think?
Monday, December 31, 2012
This took a lot more time during the day than I thought it would. Hunting down my phone every time I had a whim to eat, was usually followed by an all out expedition to find my phone became tiresome. I managed to make it though. This just a representation, because today I had several helping on occasion. I'm not sure when the candy idea came from, because I distinctly remember feeling sick of sweets. I also seem to be binging here lately. So here it goes.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
SO this is my pre new year blog. I love to blog, but have neglected this and my regular blog for a while now. I like to put time into my blogs, but I am so busy with work and the kids, I clearly don't have time for all this. So for my first goal of the year, I plan to blog photos of what I eat. This is much easier that entering all the info into the calorie tracker. It also might shame me into eating better, for the sake of your eyes. I am also a visual person, so seeing just how much crap I eat might shock me into making changes.
I have also been making some changes over the past months on my own that I am proud of. I have cut down a lot of my fast food consumption. I am only allowed to eat out 1 week day for lunch. I have done quite well with this, and it has saved me a lot of money. I just wish it would do more for my waist line. I have also started eating out dinner less. I did this for my kids, as well as my wallet. I have been feeding them more real food. We do have hamburger helper or frozen pizza, but these foods are still better than the local fast food drive through. I am also putting more veggies on the kids plates. The Crock pot has been my salvation. I can cook chicken in the crock pot while I am at work, or overnight while I am sleeping. This is great because the last thing I want to do after work is cook for an hour, and waste money using our old oven.
So starting tomorrow, I am going to keep up my fast food challenge, and add in my photo blog food diary. This probably wont be pretty as we have birthdays coming up in January, but this goal is about looking at what I eat and being accountable for it. No more denial! When I meet my blog goal, I will be able to purchase an app for my phone as a reward. Here is a test pic of my Christmas food choices. Eeek
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