Thursday, September 25, 2008
I found out September 2nd that my grandmother who raised me passed away...she was one of my best friends in life and I immediately felt a sense of panic...what was I going to do? Who would get me out of NZ if I wanted to come home? Who would I talk to about everything that was on my mind? I had a good 24 hours of crying on and off and then I had closure...my oma had been tired, unhappy, depressed, and now we know...very ill...so I was okay with her passing. She is happy and healthy and free finally. It was being with my grandfather that was difficult...but the main reason to go home. I realized that funerals weren't for the dead...they were for the living and I didn't need a funeral. I had my closure, I had no regrets, and there's nothing I had wished I said. I went home on the 3rd and returned to New Zealand on the 20th.
It was hard to come back...I also realized while I was home the last 3 days and staying with my best friend, that if I had my real choice, I would gran the dog, cats, and my man and immediately move back to Illinois...I love America...and I felt like I could breathe there.
I didn't hold back much with my eating, although I didn't eat as much as I thought I was going to.
So, I am home again...I got fired from the gym I worked at for going home...so now I am looking for another job, working my Creative Memories business, and enjoying some time at home. We'll have to learn how to eat on a budget a wee bit which sucks...but we'll get there.
The weather is getting warmer and I can start walking Max more.
So, there's my update and why I haven't been around much...
Have a great week.
The picture is of my Oma (Aline Wehlau)