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Until We Meet Again

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

At this point my friends, I can not...or rather am choosing not to keep up with SP. I need to refocus more intensely on my own life, survival and find my motivation again.

Fracturing my pelvic last year, really through me for a loop and not being able to exercise for 6 months was challenging. The fact that I was forced to get a 2nd job and worked 90 hr/wk between both jobs, was devasting for me; emotionally, physically and mentally.

I've cut down on my 2nd job work hours, but lost the fight in me to get back up and work out like I was, or EVEN attempt to get my butt to the gym (free). It's gone, kaput, gonzo.

Not gone forever....just misplaced.

I don't know if I'll EVER ride a bicycle again out in public. The fear is overwhelmingly terrifying for me and that emotion makes me upset with myself for allowing such a weakness to engulf me.....hahahah....I say this and YET, I'm out riding my Harley!

August 1st is my Transformation Day. I am going to make a schedule of my training, start counting my calories, food input, exercise minutes and moniter my weight (I don't even OWN a scale).

Financially I will finally be back on my feet by August and not have to worry if I should buy a roll of TP or stock up on food from the Dollar Store...HA Food....WHAT A JOKE.

Right now....it PAINS me to get all the group updates, and SP messages, knowing that I'm a "Poser" and not a participant. That being said, I'm going to remove myself from the daily emails that SP sends out. I wont be checking my page, and am deciding if whether or not to remove myself from SP all together....still not sure.

If anyone wants, needs or desires to get a hold of me...here's my email address:
debiewoowoo@yahoo.com

Hopefully I'll be back, better than ever, with the strength to plow through it once again.
Besos,
Debie
P.S. Here's the most recent picture of me....Thankfully, I am sitting down and you aren't able to view the regression of the body composition.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DREMARGRL 11/27/2012 3:17AM

    I am up in the middle of the night reading this, Deb. Life has a way of kicking our butts, but I hope you are feeling and doing much better. The struggle is so difficult at times and I truly do understand where you are coming from. When I broke my back several years ago, it did kick me in the arse, too. I have a lot of pain from arthritis starting to set in and I didn't have pain one before. It's surely different. We have to keep at it. I haven't been on spark the way I should either, but make myself hold on here. Take care, my dear, and I shall pray for all who are struggling to do better......both physically and mentally.
Prayers go out to you today. I'm sorry I just read this tonight, but it's never too late to keep trying. I know that you will.
xo MaryAnn emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/27/2012 3:18:16 AM

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MICHELAR 9/14/2011 11:51AM

    I can't believe I am now seeing this! Will sent you an email doll! Miss you and hope you are doing well. emoticon

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BITOFHONEY58 8/10/2011 9:22PM

    Its all good Girlfriend;) I too know the struggles too well. When you come back we will all be here. I myself have a hard time anymore keeping up with SP due to my mom being sick so much,and school. So I can relate :) Iz feelin ya! Hoping it gets better for you soon ox. Hey I have your number and we will always stay in touch Pretty lady! ox emoticon

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MONTANA_ED 7/14/2011 9:45AM

    You just take care of you for now and we will be here for you.

emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 7/14/2011 3:17AM

    Hey Debie
Sometimes we have to refocus and take care of ourselves.
It doesn't matter if you are not active on SP, nowt wrong with that, just be happy, totally understnd emoticon

Will miss you emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/14/2011 3:18:25 AM

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LMB-ESQ 7/13/2011 6:23PM

    Hey, Debie, I wondered where you'd got off to. You know, we've all been there, with so much to do and not enough time to do it. Letting go of the workouts... yup... been there, done that. You do what you need to do to get yourself back to where you want to be. I will miss you if you go, but I sure do understand.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

You take good care of yourself!! And we'll see you when you get back!!

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I QUIT the 2nd Job!!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

I put in my 1-week Notice at the bar. I still have to work this Saturday, Sunday & Monday, and then THAT'S IT!!!

Told the bar boss, that is was taking it's toll on me, my vehicle and causing me not to be fully "here" at my Day Job-which is ultra important, especially with only 4 more years until I retire.

People ask me, "Oh my gawd, Debie, what will you do with all that 'spare' time"?
Here's my answers:

Here's my To-Do List:
-SLEEP more than 2-3 hours a night
-Finish putting my house back together
-Get myself to the gym again
-Re-training on the bicycle for that 10K.
-Want to recapture my hot and sexy toned body
-Involve myself once again in SP and be here for myself and others
-I'd like to go on a scuba diving vacation, sit on the beach, sipping tropical drinks with umbrellas in them.
-Have the freedom to take the bike out and go for real weekend rides
-Seriously start back to school this fall semester and work towards Masters
-Be able to watch a movie from beginning to end, without falling asleep

...and finally....
-Have the chance to not only date, but have a real relationship


The picture attached, is me with a couple of great friends, celebrating an non-drinking New Year's Eve dinner....I'm on the far right.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIKETOHEIGHTS 4/24/2011 4:20PM

    Sounds awesome!

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NEVERFORGET911 3/17/2011 3:52PM

    Good for you, baby doll emoticon

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MICHELAR 2/22/2011 2:12PM

    SO happy to see a blog from you doll! I miss you terribly! And emoticonon quitting the 2nd job and refocusing your energy on more you time!

Love you doll! emoticon

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TRENTDREAMER 2/20/2011 9:53PM

    Congrats. I'm glad to see you back on Spark. I hope that you enjoy your new found time!

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JODAFEEN17 2/19/2011 12:25PM

    Hi, Deb, glad to see you blogging again! You are an awesome lady, and should definitely take care of yourself, so kudos for quitting the second job! Do those things that bring you satisfaction and pleasure in knowing you've accomplished something for yourself!

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LMB-ESQ 2/18/2011 9:22PM

    Welcome back! emoticon

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HEYRED221 2/18/2011 8:41PM

    emoticon Debie! I'm sure it will be nice to get in some more zzzzzzz's and enjoy life some more! Have a great weekend!

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BMRBUDDY 2/18/2011 3:49PM

    Good for you Debie! So glad to hear that. You are going to enjoy that me time and sounds like it is very well deserved! Sometimes that extra money is just not worth it and it's just amazing how much less we really need. LOL I learned that retiring at 55 (and loving it). emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 2/18/2011 3:12PM

    Glad to hear you're looking after you Debbie and taking steps to de-stress.........life really is too short, good for you.
emoticon emoticon


get some emoticon

luv ya emoticon

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CEBOSKY 2/18/2011 2:33PM

  www.WatchingLiveTvOnYourComputer.co
m

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MONTANA_ED 2/18/2011 2:09PM

    Woo Hoo! Glad to hear that you are going to be cutting your stress down a bit. Extra money is nice but there are times that it's not work the trade-off. You are looking great! I just KNOW you are going to get back in there and be awesome!

Onwards..

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Mini/Condensed Bullet Points

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Ok Gang-a-roos. You all have been so ultra-patient with me, while piling on the support, while I stepped away. Here now is a briefing of what I've been going through....

-Got the ok from Ortho Dr in June, that my pelvis is totally healed. 1-yr later, I am doing so well, and have forgetten that I had broken bones...THANK GOD I was in Super Fantastic Shape at the time of the accident, otherwise, instead of 2-weeks later, it wouldn't have been until Aug that I would of been walking on my own.

-I have been riding my motorcycle constantly since then

-Took on a 2nd full time job-bartending, down in a real rural/ghetto bar, but I'm being paid cash, so it's worth it, even though I work 20 hours some days.

-Sleep is a luxury, and I still try to get out once a week for some sort of social acitvity or dancing.

-Dating is out of the question and at this time..HA....time....so little time, so desperate for sleep

-Was supposed to have gained 5-8 per month for every month of not working out, due to injury. After 12 months, I have gained 10. Not bad, considering I no longer workout at all.

-I miss being in the gym, and taking off for hours on my bicycle...soon, it will happen again.

-I'm getting myself situated financially and the 2nd job is helping

-Had to repossess my house. Spent $15k with Back Pymts, Lawyer & Court fees, but I'm back.

-The Meth-Heads totally trashed my house, and I now am living in a skeleton of a structure. My borther is living with me and helping me get it slowly put back together and hope to have the renovations completed before summer.

In conclusion: I am Happy, Healthy and have the best friends in my life; in-person, and here on SP!!!
The blessing that are bestowed upon me are incredible, along with all the positive situations that have been happening, make any challenges seem so small.

Thanks everyone for hanging in there with me. When I have some MORE "time" I'll actually right a REAL blog and not just throw out bullet points.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FINEARSESOON 2/10/2011 9:50PM

    XOXO!

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BIONICBETH 1/19/2011 7:21PM

    Debi, you sure have been leading a bitc* of a path! I'm happy you are beginning to re-claim some control over "stuff."

We miss you....and you know we'll be here when you come back!

HUGS
-Beth

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LIZZIAMBER 1/19/2011 5:11PM

    I'm sorry to hear you've been through quite a bit, but I'm positive that you can make it through with flying colors! I'm happy that you're back and I'll take the bullet points for now.

By the way...you look GORGEOUS in that picture.

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MICHELAR 1/19/2011 3:42PM

    Great to see you Debie and thanks for catching us up! You have been through a roller coaster ride doll and you always boince back! you are totally awesome and I just love you to bits! emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 1/19/2011 2:58PM

    Nothing keeps you down for long Debie, welcome back babes emoticon emoticon

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KELLIGIRL523 1/19/2011 2:27PM

    Welcome Back!!

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Learning how to Re Ride my bike post accident

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I had to get myself up on my bicycle again, since the horrific cycling accident in Jan. To ease back into the saddle a friend brought over his super delux Trainer and mounted my bike on it.

At first, I ignored the bicycle...if I ignore it, will the pain in my pelvic not start to ache, if I ignore it, will it make it all better, if I ignore it will I ever get back to riding my bicycle?????

Yeah, yeah...the only that happened with ignoring the bicycle was, I didnt exercise and gained weight.

So one day I sat on the cycle, still mounted on the trainer. The anxiety that came over me was such a panic; body broke out in a sweat, breathing was rapid and shallow, I felt like I was falling...so I jump right off. Boy Howdy, that was the hardest thing I've done in awhile.

Took to sitting on the sucka every day, then put my feet in the pedals, then did a couple of rotations, until one day.....I suited up, and attacked the bike with a vengance...VICTORY IS MINE (I yelled...and I'm sure the entire apt complex heard).

Cranked up the IPOD, and hit it for an hour. Did that a few days, then one day it was time to graduate to the Great Outdoors.

OHHHH NOOO...darn that panic..TOO BAD, I had already taken the bike off the Trainer and I didnt know how to put it back...FORCED to ride it outside.

The pains of panic were coursing through my hands, arms, and legs, I ignored them and started out on the street; hypervigilante of any crack or deformation in the road.
Having to pass my first runner, just about caused me to fall off the bike, and when others passed me, I almost swerved into the drainage ditch....30 minutes was QUITE long enough for THAT 1st day.

Today was my 4th attempt at riding. I've gotten up to 50 miles at times, but today I took my friend out for her first ride on her own bicycle.....the cruise was GREAT. I felt so in control...oh yeah, I was the Pro with my student....chick-a-boom-boom...Pardon me while the MASTER coasts through this pathway...thank ya....thank ya very much....THEN P=O=P!!!!!!!!!!....

Ran over a screw so badly, it was unfixable. So we walked a few miles, until a Good Samaritan (G.S.) stopped to help repair my tire. After two patches, it was determined the valve was broken and the tire no longer would hold air.

My G.S., Frank, happened to be a bicycle repair man and had a full kit on his bike (except had run out of tubes). When he couldn't fix my tire, he called his wife, who brought the van and picked the three of us and our bikes up and dropped my friend and I at my apt.
...it wasn't 5 minutes prior that I was complaining that usually cyclists stop and at least ASK if you need help....and lo and behold...TAAAA DAAAA...The Calvery arrived (so much for my faith-how emBAREarsing).

This didn't scare off my friend and once I get my tube replaced, we are going to start biking as much as possible.

Here below are some photos of our biking adventure....my friend snuck off with my camera, and had some fun
1st photo is me and my GS
2nd photo is my friend is glam'in it up....sheesh, that girl, too much fun!

.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTFOXXY 7/30/2010 7:17PM

    Good for you Debie. Face those demons and beat 'em down with a bike tire.

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LIZZIAMBER 7/23/2010 5:28PM

    SO PROUD TO HEAR YOU DID YOU!!

Such an inspiration, good for you!

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HEYRED221 7/16/2010 1:37PM

    Way to get right back on it! Did you get your bike fixed yet - gotta be ready for this weekend! Its so nice to know that there are still some good people out there and they stop to help - gives us all some hope. Have a great weekend :-)

Carolyn

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DREMARGRL 7/15/2010 10:51PM

    Way to get back on the "hause", Deb! I have had a couple accidents myself, (one was a broken back!), and that is the only one can do....Get back on and ride~! Fear is crippling and we have to work hard to overcome it. You are awesome, my sweet, beautiful friend~XO
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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330POUNDWOMAN 7/14/2010 12:58AM

    Debie, you amaze me! Way to go for facing your fears and getting back out there! I hope to have the chance to ride with you one day... I believe were relatively close so we need to plan something! And THANK GOODNESS for GS!!!!! Woo-Hoo!

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SROBBINS02 7/13/2010 6:46PM

    GOOD GOD woman you are awesome! And so, so brave! When I grow up I want to be Debie... emoticon

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NANCYCA555 7/13/2010 3:42PM

    HERE'S TO GOOD SAMARITANS! Nice people rock.
On another note, that post-traumatic stress syndrome is a b**ch. I'm proud of you for battling your fear and working up to getting back on your bike. You look hot in your picture with the GS, btw.



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GOOFYGIRL48 7/13/2010 9:48AM

    Debbie - I too am just reading this blog with no knowledge of your accident, but I know it is very hard to face the fear and get back on that bike, and I am so very proud of you!
You have inspired me - I was in a motor-scooter accident two years ago, and I have not been on a good ride since. I may need to work on that!

You rock! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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250STRONG 7/13/2010 9:24AM

    I'm late to the party so I don't know the details of your crash, but I will say that I'm so proud of you for conquering your fears! That's exactly what it's all about.

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MONTANA_ED 7/13/2010 8:55AM

    Wow! Way to attack that fear and overcome it. It just goes to show just what a strong and determined woman you are. Now you know NOTHING will hold you back from anything you do! As for the flat tire. Well, just goes to prove that despite problems along the way of life, there are others that are waiting in the wings to help you.

This is awesome! I'm so happy and proud for you!

Onwards...

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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-DYET- 7/13/2010 8:40AM

    emoticon!!! Getting back on and attacking it is the best thing you could do!!

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LILPAT3 7/13/2010 7:44AM

    Like riding a horse...You have to get back on after being thrown. The saying goes.."It's not if you wreck, but when". So glad you are giving it another go! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BIONICBETH 7/13/2010 7:21AM

    Great blog Debie, and great achievement! Darned scary to come back to a sport that hurt you so badly.

emoticon emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 7/13/2010 7:03AM

    Victory is yours! Good for you! emoticon

I got hit by a car about 10 years ago on my bike. Got the bike fixed, got over the bumps, scrapes and bruises (not near as bad as yours... lucky me!), but couldn't for the longest time ride past that corner without feeling a sense of dread and panic. Finally forced myself to do it, now I can do it with barely a thought (but I do ride much closer to the curb there.) So good for you pushing yourself past the fear! That's the only way to do it! emoticon

As far as running over a screw and ruining your tire? Hey.... Better the tire than you! emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 7/13/2010 4:11AM

    Debbie, you brave, inspiring woman!
Nothing NOTHING defeats you.
It must have taken a will of iron to get on that bike and face your fears and you did it girlfriend.
So nice to see you getting stronger and stronger...and happy

Loving the pout
emoticon

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MMORGAN317 7/13/2010 3:45AM

    LOVE the story!!! I'm glad that Frank was able to help out and I'm also glad that you were able to conquer your fears and get back ON that back!!
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I have NO drama, just situations (+new Photo)!

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

...and so here is an update

Cervix biopsy came back NEGATIVE!! Follow Up Pap in 4 months w/ GYN-Oncologist. She said that my cervix looks good....WOW, a nice sexy-looking cervix, what female wouldn't be all a blush with THAT comment?!?!?!

Buyers of my house (sold on contract-Im dedicated to the loan x3 more yrs) paid the Balloon Payment F-I-N-A-L-L-Y! I was able to catch up on a few months worth of bills.....now I need to check if June's payment has been made.....only 3 more years of this constant, monthly checkin up on.

I got a 2nd job today!!!! Wal-Mart is hiring me! I am so excited. Sheesh, at my age, I was certain they'd throw me at the front doors as a Greeter, but NO, due to my excellent work history, my current position at the university, my skills, my experience and my most CHARMING personality, I am being placed in the Electronic dept, where it takes a level head, to hand the Customers.....hmmmm, good thing I didn't mention my concealed weapon in my purse.

Down side to 2nd job-Play Time will be cut down, if not eliminated all together-at least until I get a little more steady financial foundation under me.

Up side to 2nd job-I will have the extra money to pay bills AND buy food. I dont mean the cheap-azz, high fat, calorie ridden stuff...But FRESH veggies, and FRESH fruit, yogurt, grains, and all the things I USED to take in for my healthy body....and for those that know my weakness for ice cream...lack of extra funds has at least eliminated that naughty treat from my diet.

I went on another motorcycle ride this past Sunday. Same route, all-day trip. Getting more secure, skills are building, and I'm actually enjoying the scenery as I ride, instead of muttering the mantra...ok, ok, ok, you will be ok.

Workout has been....well....yeah, NOTHING for 2 weeks. yeah, yeah I had a horrid stomach flu for 10 days, but still...the desire has just not interested me at all. Kind of had other things going on, and yeah, yeah I know, exercise helps with stress, gets your mind off of "stuff".....but for me......I just needed to rest, play, and find other forms of release....and AHHHHH, it has helped give me a renewal of strength and peace.

Challenging moments, but really nothing horrible, and for that I am so thankful. I have the BESTest friends here on Spark.

You guys check on me, even though, I've stepped back, gone into my cocoon. Thank you for your love and support....even if I'm not interacting much, I am so thinking of each of you every day, and your Check Ins, Comments, and Emails warm my heart and I feel so cared for....Thank you my friends!

I am doing so much better, and can feel my old chipper self bouncing back!!!
Mucho Amor, mi amigos!



A "peek" of me attending Salsa Under the Stars...although it was still daylight here at this time

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MMORGAN317 7/13/2010 3:48AM

    Yay!!! Congrats on the job! Let me know how you like working for Walmart, I'm half tempted to see if they'll hire ME. :o)

Rest and motivation is always important when it comes to exercising and if you don't have those, they there's really no point.. In my opinion at least..

I'm glad that you were able to get some money to catch up on bills, that's always a relief!

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 6/30/2010 6:11AM

    Congratulations on the job. Fun time is great, but definitely more precious when you have less of it. Just keep your eye on your health because our world needs you!

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330POUNDWOMAN 6/22/2010 6:13PM

    Good for you for working on getting your financial situation under control, you are so right, eating healthy is EXPENSIVE!!! Look at you just pulling in all the good news, negative results on your testing and a job! Woo-Hoo! Leisure time will be cut but your gonna be up and moving around a lot and you will burn some extra calories, woo-hoo!

You look like a delicious "HOT" Salsa! LOL, awesome pic, you look amazing girlfriend, love the RED dress!

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SROBBINS02 6/14/2010 4:25PM

    Sounds like you've been super busy... Hope Walmart treat you well and you're looking HOT in that pic! emoticon

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NEVERFORGET911 6/14/2010 10:53AM

    Good job in getting things done! I KNOW that's a load off your mind.

Hope all keeps going in a positive direction for you. You truly deserve the best life has to offer.

Have a great week! Talk soon.

Charlie

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JUSTME1320 6/13/2010 9:30PM

    I know how u feel about the working out thing this whole weekend i keep telling myself yes but my heart says....sleep, veg out, no one will know lol. Thats good things are looking up for u. You are such a nice, beautiful person i think u deserve nothing less. Its good hearing from you, cant wait till we can meet one day when i go back home. I need a buddy to stay on track. I hope u are having a wonderful day!!! and I hope your weekend was awesome!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRENTDREAMER 6/13/2010 12:37PM

    Congrats on the second job. I will make it a point to keep checking in on you. Glad to hear about the good medical news. Continued success to you.

Thank you for being a friend to me. Have a great week!

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HAPPY2BHERE3 6/13/2010 6:51AM

    I am so happy for you! YOU LOOK MARVELOUS DARLING.

" Money can't buy you class elegance is learned my friend".by Countess LuAnn de Lesseps

And girl you got it!


Comment edited on: 6/13/2010 6:52:34 AM

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LMB-ESQ 6/12/2010 9:22PM

    Waaahhhhh!!! Such excellent news!!!! I'm so glad things are going better for you now! Nobody needs health scares. Or financial scares.

Damn girl..... I am SOOO jealous of you and that Harley! So glad you're getting along with it and enjoying the riding.

Keep on bringing that good news.... Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!

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JUSTFOXXY 6/11/2010 5:43PM

    Congrats on the negative result!

Nice pic but I did wonder if this was you at Walmart with the concealed weapon in your purse. emoticon

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NANCYCA555 6/11/2010 12:13PM

    First off, that's a big relief to hear about the good pap smear results. That surely took a weight off your shoulders. Good luck with your new job. Walmart is lucky to have you, and yes, that extra cash will definitely help. Time to celebrate with a pool party!

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LIZZIAMBER 6/10/2010 8:35PM

    YESSS!!!!!

I can't tell you how happy I am to hear the negative results!!! I've been keeping you in my thoughts and was honestly worried and can't tell you how happy I am that all is well!

Happy to hear you're back to your chipper self that we all love so much!!!

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MICHELAR 6/10/2010 3:11PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonon the negative report! That is a a load off your shoulders doll!

They will love you at Walmart!

Things are looking up doll!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEYRED221 6/10/2010 11:59AM

    Debie, so glad to hear the results were negative. I have been through that too - had to have paps every 6 months for two years. I am all good as well and back to regular annual visits. but it is scary when it first happens. how is your daughter doing?

So cool about the motorcycle, I had gotten my endorsement quite a few years ago and used to ride on a regular basis but don't anymore. But my sweetie has a Harley, so I like to ride with him! Congrats on the second job and definitely don't beat yourself up about the exercise. Sometimes we just need a break. You know what you need to do and you WILL get back to it. Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Carolyn

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JUSTFOCUS 6/10/2010 11:20AM

    Good to hear about the negative results and the job. I know some of your freetime will be taken up, but its for a great cause and will get back to normal before you know it.

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NEW-CAZ 6/10/2010 3:26AM

    I am SO pleased to hear about the negative report Debbie and the good things happening in your life, you deserve a break hun!
Hey, love the photo, you are looking amazing.

Good luck with the new job emoticon

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ROWINGPRINCESS 6/10/2010 2:46AM

    So happy to hear about the negative report ! Other things seem to be falling into place. I love the photo!

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