Thursday, March 22, 2012
From Rich Nelson's song "Garden Party" . . . ok from my distant youth! LOL
But I love that idea, because it really is impossible to please everyone, and when you TRY, you end up compromising what makes YOU happy most of the time.
I have just really been focused on how fragile life is and how difficult it is to "let go". But loss and "letting go" is part of that circle of life (thank you LION KING for that phrase!)
You look @ your kids as they grow up and you have all these plans in your head for them. College, successful career . . . you know . . . the things ALL parents want for their kids. But as things turn out, that plan might not be THEIR plan. So our job as a parent is to "let go" of OUR plans and help our kids with what THEY want in their lives. VERY hard sometimes.
As you who follow my blogs already know, my son enlisted in the Army and left for basic training on March 5th. It was very hard letting him go, but you know what, I DID. HE needed that in order to find his own way, his own path. And despite all the bumps in the road encountered during his turbulent Middle School and High School years (can you say ROLLERCOASTER RIDE?) I love him with all my heart & soul. Sometimes it hurt my Mom heart, though, because it was clear he didn't feel that love at all. **SIGH** Pretty typical of the teen years.
He has been in basics now for 2 weeks and 3 days. We have had very limited communication (totally understandable AND necessary). But the letters we've gotten from him (2 -- and I think I've read them at least a billion times -- ok maybe a billion and one ) I see so much maturity and clarity infused into his thinking. . . something sorely lacking @ times when he lived here. Again . . . pretty standard for a teen. It brings me to sometimes.
The letter we received from him yesterday is a prime example. He indicated that it is tough but he's determined to honor this committment, even though it's really tough. I'll share some of his comments:
"I already feel like I'm changing. I want to thank you for raising me the way you did. I know it was difficult, but without you guys, I don't know what I would've done. " From MY SON!
"I'm looking forward to seeing you all (at graduation)." Wow! Again, MY SON said this.
"I miss you guys and love you guys much. They say home is where there is a roof. They say home is where people are, but home is the feeling that you can't feel from anyone else. I miss home . . . " OMG (ok, 'scuse me . . . going to get my millionth box of kleenex).
Back again. Never in a million years would I have anticipated John saying ANY of these things to us. NEVER. He was always an envelope pusher, tough guy, never show emotions. Seems like he's seeing it's not all bad to FEEL things.
HUGE lesson. I see this in my own life. When I started this journey, I ATE my feelings away. What the heck . . . facing emotions HURTS sometimes. but I've learned that in the long run, dealing with the emotions is HEALTHY. It allows us to move on. Seeing this is my 19 yr. old son (20 in August) totally amazes me. I don't honestly know if **I** had that kind of maturity at 19, almost 20!
So, though it's been an adjustment for all of us, it is a good thing. Change always takes so much courage and strength. And there are days when you think you don't have it in you, but you dig a little deeper and voila! Yes indeed you DO have it in you!
Thanks for reading this blog. As painful as change can be, it allows us to become who we're meant to be. That's awesome . . . totally awesome. Worry less about pleasing others and more about pleasing YOURSELF, accomplishing what YOU need to be a better, healthier, stronger person.
Monday, March 05, 2012
Well, my dear son John is off now. I don't think any of us got sleep so didn't need the alarm to get up this morning @ 3 am. Was WIDE AWAKE! Had a chance to have one last cup of coffee @ the table as a family before we left to drop him off.
It was very, very hard to leave, but squeezed in a few more hugs, "I love you's" and "I'm proud of you's". **SIGH** That's going to have to do till we see him again @ graduation in June.
Thank you all for listening and supporting me. It has helped me beyond measure.
God bless us all!
Friday, February 24, 2012
First of all, let me start by sending a huge THANK YOU for all the notes, goodies and well wishes. I can't begin to answer everyone's response personally (tried to keep up . . . can't type fast enough). PLEASE know you're all so very special to me and I so appreciate your love and caring.
Ok, onto the party people!!!
Did my aerobics/CV exercise already -- shoveling. Darn Mother Nature!!! Oh well, it's done (the shoveling) for now.
Now . . . for starting this party. Favorite childhood memory and worst fashion faux paux I ever made.
HMMMM... favorite childhood memory. Can't limit it to just one, so here goes.
We always took a vote on Thanksgiving about where we'd like to go (in those days, museums were open every day except Christmas). So, we'd have a "secret ballot". Everyone wrote their vote on a piece of paper and we put it in a hat. Whichever Museum got the most votes, that's where we'd go. Well...not always. One year, there were 2 votes for the Museum of Science & Industry, 2 votes for the zoo and ONE vote for a NAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!! I think that year we did the nap AND the Museum! LOL We all pretended not to know who voted for the nap, but we knew!! DAD. Gotta love him.
Let's see. My cousin was visiting us from Kansas City (same one we convinced that if you swallowed a watermelon, it would grow in your stomach . . . now that happened to co-incide with my Mom being pregnant! THAT one didn't turn out well, but I digress, as usual). He was dressed up and was feeling AWKWARD, because he didn't like being dressed up. Ok, I can understand that for sure. My brothers were that way too. Anyway, my Mom solved the problem. We had a gravel driveway. She told Jeff, "Go grab a handful of gravel and put it in your pockets. Then you won't feel so dressed up." To this day (ok he's 56!) he remembers that!! Not only is my nickname Watermelon, he always has a stone in his pocket! LOL
Fashion faux paux: Fishnet stockings. Holy smokes. Those were popular in the day (and I see kinda making a come back now, so don't want to offend anyone who wears them today! ) I HAD to have a pair. Uncomfortable!!! But had to be fashionable!! UGH What's up with that one!
So, fire away with your stories. We have a million of them!!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Yup, it is! It's that birthday time of year. I will be a YOUNG (BWAHAHAHAHA!) 58 yrs. old on the 24th.
I thought about it and decided that I'd like to share my birthday with you all. A virtual birthday party! Who can resist a party, right??????????
Lynda . . . you inspired me on this one for sure. Your virtual b-day party was a blast!
Soooooo....I had two ideas for a birthday theme. The first idea is sharing the story of the worst fashions you wore just because it was fashionable! The second idea is sharing a favorite childhood memory (Lordy, I know . . . we've got a million of 'em! LOL)
I couldn't ultimately make the choice, so I decided to leave it up to you, dear Sparkers. You can share your worst fashion faux paux or your favorite childhood memory or even BOTH! Even more fun!!
And the best part . . . this party is NON-CALORIC! HEE HEE . . . no calories allowed.
Can't wait to read the stories.
Hope to see you there on the 24th!
Hugs one and all.
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Wow, today is my 2nd Sparkversary! Amazing journey! This is my opportunity to evaluate what I have GAINED from Spark. Yes, I've gone from a high of 192 lbs. in Nov. 2009, to 100 lbs. (which I've maintained since Jan. 2010). that has made the most profound difference in my health, my spirituality . . . everything that makes me , well . . . ME. So I thought about it and thought I'd list what I've GAINED over this past two years.
S park Friends. God bless each and every one of you!
P ride in my accomplishments and who I've become. I definitely am NOT the same person who joined Spark. I'm the new and improved version of ME. When I started out the journey one of my overwhelming thoughts was that if my lifestyle changed, would **I** no longer be ME? Absolutely not! I have found I am, as I said before, the new and improved ME . . . but most importantly, still ME! That makes me proud.
A new respect for the relationship between mind-and-body. Your body can only "deliver on" what you equip it to do. If you put healthy nutrition and ideas in your body and mind, it will never fail to deliver physical and mental health. Never. But we have to respect that WE are responsible for the feeding and nurturing of our bodies . . . our temples (thank you SAC!) that have been given to us.
R enewed enthusiasm for life. Who WOULDN'T feel renewed with more physical and mental energy! I sure feel it . . . everyday in every way.
K nowledge that I have gained each and every day is boundless! Not just limited to what I've learned here on Spark, but just in general from life experiences!
V ersatility is soooooooo important. Perfectionism kept me from seeing that my "all or nothing @ all", "if it's not perfect, it's not good enough!" attitude was leading me down a path of mental and physical illness. Learning to compromise, learn from failures, be able to think outside the box. Wow! What a breath of fresh air it is to be able to be versatile.
E nergy. Honestly, some days I feel like the Energizer Bunny. Wahoo!
R ationing, watching portion size. It's not always what you eat but HOW MUCH. Boy, that is something I have to watch every day. Worth weighing and measuring? YOU BET. When you weigh and measure your food so you're eating proper portions, even if the scale doesn't show it, you'll see changes in your measurements, the way clothes feel, the way you FEEL!
S ense and sensibilities! Not every day is going to be the PERFECT day, maybe not even good. BUT learning how to "get through it", realizing that analyzing what IS going on can help you figure out how to do things BETTER. This is a HUGE step forward in making my life happier.
A ttitude is EVERYTHING. Do we wake up everyday in a good mood? Probably not. But we have control of our reactions to even the most aggravating situations. THAT IS POWER!
R olling on the floor laughing! Yes indeed . . . a sense of humor. Where would we be without it! Looking @ the absurdities sometimes in life helps us re-adjust our perspective, step back, and LAUGH! Laughing is wonderful medicine, and is contagious.
Y OU are important. Never, ever forget to put you on your priority list.
OK, so all these are things I have gained during my two year journey on this wonderful site. I know life is FULL of ups and downs. It always will be. No getting around that one. But if we keep our heart open, our minds open and keep putting one foot in front of the other, we'll GET THERE!
Maintenance is part of my life now and will ALWAYS be a part of my life. That's good! It means I care enough about me to DO THE WORK!
Those are my thoughts after two years. I can't wait to see what is to come (I know there will be ups and downs) and am ready.
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