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Judgementalism, Sanity and Humanity

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I read a blog by Bizeemomto3, and she talks about realizing she is judgemental. She is NOT!

How do I know this? Because not only is she a Bizeemomto3, but she is also my famous Bossy Daughter.

I have known her all her life, and while she has no problem bossing me around, she is not judgemental. Honestly, she is the kindest, most caring person I have ever known. She has always been that way.

When she was about 5, she got a doll whose hair "grew" from Santa. She really wanted that doll for a long time. Its' name was Beautiful Crissy. Anybody remember them? Well, anyway, Bossy Daughter loved that doll, and even cried when she saw Santa had given one to her.

All Christmas morning, there she was, combing Beautiful Crissy's hair and changing the doll's clothing. Just filled with happiness. It was a real heart warming thing to watch.

Then she went down the street to see what Corinna got from Santa. Corinna loved Beautiful Crissy, too, but Santa didn't leave one for her. She cried and threw a fit until BD gave in and traded her much loved dolly for a yo-yo, just to make Corinna stop crying and stop being mad at her.

Home she came, with a very sad look on her little face, and showed me the yo-yo. It didn't take me long to get on the phone and straighten things up with Corinna's mother, who told me I was being judgemental, and should let the kids decide which toys they wanted.

I didn't take kindly to that response, and let her know where she could put her idea of me being judgemental! We donned our coats and went down and brought Beautiful Crissy home.

Bossy Daughter's biggest problem has always been that she places the comfort, well being, safety and happiness of others ahead of her own. Her heart pours out to mankind. Much more than most people's, and certainly, much more than mine does.

I have had friends who had the nasty habit of telling me what I think and what I feel before asking me. I have been told that they "Just KNEW I wouldn't approve", so they didn't tell me things they were doing with their lives.

Now I readily admit, most of the time when I hear that, the speaker is right. If asked, I probably wouldn't approve of what they were planning on doing, if I thought it was unhealthy or unsafe for them. And I would have told them so, too. I don't like to see my friends or loved ones sabotage themselves.

So, if that is being judgemental, so be it. I don't apologize for that.

I admit to getting annoyed when they tell me what I think and feel, and I feel judged by them when they do so. I feel taken for granted and mistreated. I feel anger.

Yes, yes, I have been judgemental in other areas of my life where I should not have been so. I have had racial prejudices, sexual preference judgementalism, class distinction, education envy, and I have judged prettier girls than me as being "stuck up and conceited" without even knowing them. I have been critical of others lifestyles with no investigation. Yes, I admit to all of those, and do not find myself in a favorable light because of it.

Last night my DH and I watched the movie "Soloist". Or maybe the title was "The Solo". It is a fairly new movie with Jamie Farr playing one of the lead roles as a genius schizophrenic musician, a "street" person who is discovered by a journalist, based on a true story. I highly recommend it to all. While being a very moving story, it is an exercise in unspoken judgementalism.

It is so easy to see the homeless as being lazy, dirty and shiftless. It is more comfortable to avoid eye contact and just hurry on by, than to stop and ask what I can do to help them. How easily it comes to mind, and too often to MOUTH, that "if they would just get a job!!" It is more comfortable to avoid any contact or getting too close because they are not clean, and do not smell good.

During my more "saintly" times, I have bought and handed out certificates for food at McDonald's or the other fast food places. I have even given them paper money, instead of just pushing past and say "I don't have any money" (when I really DO have some; I am just too stingy and self righteous to give them any).

None of these things make me proud. When I dwell on them, I feel small and guilty. I feel shame. I am very uncomfortable in my own skin.

I need to be reminded I am only a human being, and I am only being human.

But what about those times when we do judge that the actions our friends or loved ones are making will most certainly bring them harm or damage or danger? Shall we then become sanctimonious and not say anything for fear of sounding judgemental? Isn't that being parsimonious with our loved ones, depriving them of a different point of view or the knowledge of our caring about them?

Shall we all begin to now hide behind the political correctness of judgementalism? Shall we begin to be silent observers to our fellow man in order to stave off judgement? Shall we become so shallow that we sit idly by while watching a loved one become destroyed in order that we do not get blamed? Shall we become so apathetic that the simple kindness of caring about one another becomes obsolete?

NO, I shout! While I may be wrong with my judgements at times, I will not squander it away so that I will be held blameless.

Judging takes observance, interest and caring. One can choose which way to exercise it, for good, or for evil.

As for those who "know" what I am thinking, I have news for you. You cannot possibly know what is going on in my head unless I tell you.

I have a whole committee in there, and usually about 45 different topics of interest going on all at the same time. Each topic has its own priority, space and voice. It depends on which is the loudest as to which gets my attention at any given moment.

If I told you all that goes on in my head in the space of one minute, you would JUDGE me to be insane. Just as I would with you, if the tables were turned.

So I will continue my journey of life, judging as I go, and hopefully will not cause harm to others.

Judge me as you will, but don't tell me what I am thinking? I just might tell you!!


Moderation and Motivation

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Ok. So most of you know that I truly know NOTHING about moderation. It's either all or nothing, the whole enchilada, feast or famine.

I was not scheduled for strength training today. I rather sluffed off yesterday, so of course, whole hog I go today. I worked with weights. I worked with the ball. I rode my bike. I rowed on the machine. I did squats, lunges, raises, and ab resistance band. I over did.

Then I proudly start to enter all of this, am satisfied with the points I earn, and decide to read Lovescamping's most recent blog. This brings me down to the right size.

I am reading her blog, and then start reading it over again from the top. Good grief!! She is talking straight to ME! Nearly every sentence she wrote points at what I have been doing. I read her wisdom three times, and decide I have to get honest with myself.

I have been griping about not losing the weight I want to, but bragging about the inches I have left behind. I have not been rigorous in measuring my food, either. I have, however, been very good with the water thing. Score one for me.

What I need to learn is moderation in all areas of my life. Beginning with this "weight thing". I need to allow my muscles a day in between workouts to re-oxyginate, and stop working out like a maniac.

When I am living the life of a crazed maniac, I burn out. Right down to the cinders. I actually get mad at the bike, weights, bands and rower, as though they are my problem. I even give them dirty looks. I feel superior because I am ignoring them, and teaching them a lesson!!

Lovescamping brought all of this reality to me today in her blog. She actually has motivated me to become more sane and balanced in my approaches to my body attitude.

I will "lighten up", get my head on straight and begin enjoying more of life than I have been.

Isn't it wonderful to have such motivational people in life??!! Lovescamping, you are my hero!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALMMOM 8/18/2009 7:19PM

    Moderation in all things!!!

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LOVESCAMPING 8/18/2009 5:47PM

    Wow! I am blushing and humbled. Thank you so much. I could almost say I'm speechless, but as my best friend says, that NEVER happens. Actually he's given me some good advice in the past about over training and needing to take some time off from the whole weight thing. And then a year or so down the road, I come to the same conclusions and repeat them back to him. And he says, "Is there an echo in here???" LOL

Bless you if you're not hard-headed as me.

And thank you so much for the accolades.


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TRAMMELL2 8/18/2009 3:23PM

    I am the same way. I think I need to read Lovescamping's blog also.

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TRAMMELL2 8/18/2009 3:23PM

    I am the same way. I think I need to read Lovescamping's blog also.

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My Day Off and Nicole's Latest Torture

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A while ago, I set Sunday as my "Day Off". I pledged to track my nutrition and water, but would take the day off from the exercise part of the program. I was really doing well at this, until today.

Today I found an email from SP about working with the ball. It was from Nicole, so one would think I would exercise caution. But no.

I click on the video, and she is sitting there on her blue ball, looking all innocent and nice, so I listen to her discussing the benefits of working out with the ball. Nothing wrong here, and it is interesting to hear some information I previously lacked. Then there is this link to a 5 Minute Booty Exercise With Ball video. This is where it all goes to hell.

I get my ball, lie on the floor as Nicole instructs, and do the first exercise. It is easy, and I can do it, concentrating on breathing correctly. She tells me to put both feet up on the ball, and roll it slowly so that my knees are coming toward my chest, using my arms and shoulders for support and balance, being sure to keep my back firmly on the floor. I do that.

Then she "steps it up a bit". We do bridges with the ball. Okay, I am with her, but this is a little more challenging because I have to remember to balance. I manage to get through them, and now here she comes.

"A bit more challenging" says She Who Must be Obeyed. Cross one ankle over the knee and do bridging THAT way. I get my left ankle over the right knee, still flat on the floor with my right foot on the ball, and try to bridge.

WHO IS SHE KIDDING??? I dig my heel into the ball and try again. Nope. Butt doesn't want anythng to do with this one. I try again, same result, and break out laughing. This doesn't help matters, and I tip over.

Yep. I tip over while lying on the floor. Tipping over is one of my specialties, but I have never tipped over while on the floor before. At least I won't get any tipping over bruises from that one.

Oh. there SHE is again, only telling us to "switch sides and do the same thing with the other leg". WHAT same thing?? Does she mean I should try doing a bridging or tipping over? I have a moment of sanity and remember she can't see me in my room, so she must mean doing the bridge thing.

Holy Cow! Left side (ignorant side) knows how to do this!! I can actually get my butt off the floor! What a revelation! A true epiphany!! LEFT SIDE knows something Right Side doesn't! I go for it. I am doing these bridges, one, two, uh, strain three, PUUUUUL on four and barely make it to five. This is really a WORKOUT!

Then we do these wonderful stretches, which are heavenly because I am not lifting Butt off the floor, and the workout is over.

Something is wrong. She is thanking me for doing a 5 minute BOOTY workout. I don't feel anything in my booty as far as having been worked out. My abs and back thighs are quivering and sobbing.

I am not kidding here. I know my back thighs are sobbing. They have never been so abused in their lives, and they weren't even asked permission to be abused. Poor things!

Even the cellulite is mad at me for disturbing the bed upon which it grows.

And so, Dear Reader, I take my quivering, sobbing thighs to the shower, where I will annoint them with body oil after cleansing them as a means of repairing the damage I just did them.

Now, I shall continue with My Day Off.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEESPARKLE 8/27/2009 8:49PM

    Enjoy all your blogs and humor with them. Even the one about don't judge me. I might tell you what I am really thinking. Something like that. Tee,hee

Wonderful you make quilts for children. All of them are sooo beautiful and so personal for those ages you do. You sure you have lighten up the childrens hearts when you deliver them. How you must feel to see the smiles when you give them. I sure would like to be the fly on the wall that day or days when you go. What alot of T.L. Care you have put in them .

God Bless you. Congrat's for your weight loss. Looking good. emoticon
Bee here

Comment edited on: 8/27/2009 8:54:11 PM

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LOVESCAMPING 8/18/2009 12:42PM

    And maybe you might think about making Sunday a day off from watching exercise videos too??? emoticon

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NOTFATCAT 8/17/2009 4:47PM

    Man, see why I don't exercise to videos? Too much work and torture for me.
Good going.

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LOULOUBELLE2 8/17/2009 12:59PM

    I'm smiling and smirking as I read this as I have been there and done that. Especially the tipping over part, I'm good at that too....What a absolutely perfect description..........Love that shower bit.....bet that felt sooooo gooood.

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TOWHEE 8/16/2009 8:32PM

    Hey, this isn't fair. I have the hiccups now!
I'm going to have to watch that video and find out what was supposed to happen because the pictures in my brain are just TOO FUNNY.

Thanks for the laugh. It keeps me young and lowers my BP.

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Don't Tell Me THAT!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Good day out there, dear Sparkies! Another beautiful day in Paradise, right?

Well, okay. Maybe not Paradise, but close to it. I love where I live. You couldn't get me away from this area with a tow truck.

We get the Times magazine (until the subscription runs out, which we will NOT be renewing), and there is an article in it that claims exercise will not cause weight loss. Only food intake (or not) can bring on weight loss.

Now what IDIOT would believe that?? I'm telling you, it does not take a rocket scientist or even a study (which we taxpayers get stuck for) to know that when we exercise, we BURN CALORIES!

So what happens to our burned calories? Do they just jump back on once the workout is over?? I don't think so!!

I have been burning calories on my stationery bike, the rowing machine, dancing, marching, walking, aerobics, workouts with that nasty Heather and other videos of routines. I have used my big ball and my towels and my workout band.

I have done sit ups, stretches, lunges, squats, weights. I have done Yoga, Tai Chi (not too often with either of these methods of torture), and have gone on long hikes up and down mountains.

I have speed walked through Costco, and ignored the food freebies. I have twisted to Chubby Checker, Shouted with the Beatles, and the Locomotive with Little Eva.

I have gasped for breath, learned that women indeed do more than "glisten". I have sweated.

I am sure I am leaving some things out, but by now you get the jist.

So here this clown writes a full article saying that this will not help me lose weight, but that it WILL make me feel better. We need the author to get on Spark People.

Some weeks I don't lose weight, but I lose inches. Other weeks I lose weight and no inches. Either way, exercise has played a huge role in it.

I don't bounce all over like I used to before I started working out. There is still jiggling, but not bounce! My legs don't look quite as lumpy as before, and my calves are beginning to have delineation. Even my arm flaps are down a full inch, and they are stronger. I have little dents where my waist once was instead of rolls.

My clothes fit me better, and I can stand up and put my jeans on!! It has been years since I could do that. I don't even have to lie down on the bed to zip them up, either! And when I take them off at night, there isn't the wrinkled red line cutting into my skin either.

"This Spark Thing", as I call it, is working. I don't even have nightmares of Heather any more. Miss Smarmy hasn't smirked at me for a while, and Bossy Daughter sends me Spark Goodies instead of lectures. She does, however, sneak in a little cautionary tidbit about my nutrition, but not real loudly.

Last night I turned down a bowl of ice cream from my husband. While he ate his, I did deep side bends. He is a jerk. He does not play fair! He gorges himself on ice cream with chocolate sauce, oreos, BUTTER, chips and dips, waffles and syrup...........he can still get in to his Air Force uniform from 40 years ago. He is disgusting. He's got these long legs, slim torso, and says inane things like "anyone can maintain their weight by only eating when they are hungry". I have gotten quite good at telling him to "Just ZIP it!". And then he gets HIS smarmy smirk on his face. I'm telling you: Life is not always fun.

Today I did my workout. I am sure I lost some weight from it. I will keep on working out as well as eating the right stuff, despite that stupid magazine article. And I will watch the scale become friendlier, my clothes fitting better, and take the weight loss compliments I am starting to get with grace. And then I will put on MY smarmy face when looking in the mirror and say "SO THERE!!".

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOULOUBELLE2 8/14/2009 5:23PM

    Someone ought to send that Times author to a school for dummy's. I wonder if he really believes that or it just seemed like a good article. I hope he never gains weight that he has to try and lose JUST by eating....Sure don't work that way for me.......
If you don't mind I'll just keep on dancing and glistening with you....
emoticon emoticon

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LOVESCAMPING 8/14/2009 12:22PM

    If exercise doesn't help weight loss, how come when I don't get exercise in, I can't lose weight! LOL

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DARCEYOH 8/13/2009 4:23PM

    I'm thinking the magazine was having a DUH-DUH-DUHMB moment. Of exercise alone won't make you lose weight. Changing eating habits will greatly help. Exercise will help maintain the weight loss, and help increase the amount of weight loss. Combine both, and one can be an unstoppable weight loss machine.

How dare he eat ice cream in front of you! That's just awful!

Keep up the good work!

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BIZEEMOMTO3 8/13/2009 3:25PM

    When you originally told me about the article, I thought it had to be a misprint, like the 52" tv's from Best Buy for 9.99. And just because Daddy can eat like that , doesn't mean he needs to do it in front of you! Tell him to knock it off or you are going to lock up your computer and not give him the password.

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MPENNE 8/13/2009 2:31PM

    It is so true. You can't believe everything you read. Too bad the magazine doesn't have a facts checker then this garbage wouldn't get printed. It is hard to believe in this day and age that something like that could get printed. Unreal

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Getting the Winning Game Back

Monday, August 10, 2009

My Red Sox are getting a bit pink. I painfully watched them get trounced by the Yankees after a brief lead of 2-1. then it all went downhill from there. It seems that my guys are a bit tired out, worn out and in much need of rest and relaxation.

All teams have their slumps. I know I do. I went into a mini-slump after the grueling dye-ing workshop. That thing just plain wore me out. To answer your question as to whether I will be doing a lot of fabric dying, the answer is a very loud NO!!

Saturday and Sunday were pretty much passed with me lying on the sofa or sitting in my chair with the TV on, watching the games between cat naps. It was rainy out, which agrees with daytime naps.

I was even too tired to make fattening foods. Instead, we munched our ways through salads in large quantities, Oreos and ice cream in moderate, sensible quantities.

Today is gloomy outside, which will be great for that pot of chili I made last night. It is also a perfect day to do some playing in the quilt room.

Speaking of my quilt room, I cleaned it again. I have been looking for stuff ever since. I know where my fabric, books, patterns, rulers, and templates are. I know where the freezer paper, tracing paper and pencils are. I know where my UFO's are. But I cannot find the big bags to put the UFO's in. I distinctly recall moving them to a place where it only made sense to put them. I have no idea where that sensible place could be, and I need those bags so I can fill them with quilt blocks for the charity quilts on Wednesday.

Here is what is happening with my brain. I am upstairs in the quilt room, and think of going downstairs for something. I get downstairs, having no idea why I am there, but automatically head for the pantry. Now mind you, I am not hungry. I am on auto pilot. I get in to the pantry, look at all the shelves, and decide I want a drink of water instead.

I get my water, put the penny in the jar, look around and head back upstairs. I go into the office, check the computer for emails, get hung up on SP, and then check out the cat food and water supply and clean the litter box.

Into the quilt room I go again. I spot the UFO's, but decide I don't feel like working on them. They have been sitting there so long I have forgotten where I was with them anyway. They now are intimidating to me, and seem to have a sinister attitude eminating from the piles.

Ignoring them by leaving the quilt room, I go into the bedroom. I look at the bed, thinking of just taking a nap. I know I am not tired, but that bed sure looks good!

Resisting the bed, I remember that I worked out today, and did a lot of good for my body by doing so. Just going to bed doesn't seem to fit in with the planned scenario I had when I first woke up.

Oh Yeah! I was going to have a very productive day, wasn't I? Now just what was I going to do anyway?

I remember my plans vaguely, but none of them hold my interest any more.

I need to go back to my old plan of making a list of things to do tomorrow and adhereing to it in the morning. I am very productive when I do that.

There is too much of life to be enjoyed than to spend it in front of the computer or TV or taking naps. After all, I workout to be in better shape; why sabotage it by wandering through my days lackluster?

Time for me and the Red Sox to get our winning game back.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOULOUBELLE2 8/10/2009 5:11PM

    Auto Pilot will get you in trouble all the time...But you did GOOD........

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BIZEEMOMTO3 8/10/2009 3:38PM

    You LOVE your lists. Great idea to keep yourself focused and motivated. Just a thought, you might be a little undernourished if you are having a hard time concentrating. Love you bunches!

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