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Yoga, and Becoming "ONE"

Thursday, July 30, 2009

today I thought I would do a new thing. I would do a Yoga video. I am not going to tell you where I found this video, because I hold you in higher regard than that. Suffice that I will never do this video again.

I always think of Yoga as soothing, relaxing and calming. Of becoming "ONE" with the Universe. Of gaining grace, poise and peace. Of walking tall, straight and smoothly, the essence of tranquility in flowing white clothing with Yoga type leather sandals. I do not own such an outfit.

To begin, this guy with such a gentle voice begins telling me all the benefits I will receive within the next 20 minutes. I will become "aware", and will have clarity in my thinking for the rest of the day. I will be "ONE" with the Universe, and be able to feel my breath flowing gently through my body. I will be serene.

Then the instructions begin. He uses words I have never heard of to describe what I am supposed to be doing. Then out comes these three beautiful, skinny perfectly-poised young ladies, all in their one piece stretch yoga outfits, and they seem to have no difficulty in understanding his words.

I watch their moves, and do the "monkey see-monkey do" thing, figuring that after time, I, too, will be able to understand his words. I am doing this side bend thing, and concentrating on feeling my breathing enter into my back rib cage, and it feels good. I close my eyes for greater concentration. Yes, indeed, it does feel good, but when am I supposed to stop??

Opening my eyes, I see they are now down on the mat. When did he say to get down on the mat?? They are doing this thing where they bring up their right foot in between their hands while having the left foot (my ignorant side) stretched way out in the back, on my toes. Ok. I am willing to try that. Just a tiny little problem. My right foot doesn't reach up to the area between my hands. Oh. Wait a minute. I am supposed to be on my FINGERTIPS. Ok. I try to grab my leg and pull it up closer to my hands, and body says "Listen up, Chicky-Babe! Any more of THIS and we are going to tip over"! But I try just a teeny tiny bit more, and we tip over.

Moving on to what they are doing now. I don't remember them saying anything about standing up. But they are indeed up, at the front of their pretty mats, and they are spreading their arms wide and then reaching up to push the ceiling with their clasped fingers. Ok. I can do that. I am reaching up, feeling my breath flowing through the body when I hear him say "Embrace the shins".

EMBRACE THE SHINS???? Did he really say that? I peek, and sure enough, there they all are, bending over and embracing their SHINS. I have never embraced my shins in my entire life. I have banged them up, cut them, bruised them, shaved them, and put sun tan lotion on them. But I have never embraced them.

Keeping an open mind, I try to embrace my shins. I am doing great to be able to touch them, for goodness sakes! I finally get my hands around to the back, and am clutching my calves for all their are worth, when I hear "Push the ceiling up with your entwined fingers". Letting go of my calves, I struggle to straighten up and entwine my fingers and reach up.

This is much better. I like pushing the ceiling. I close my eyes, feeling my breath flowing down the courses of my body, and I am at peace. I am definitely "in tune".

What?? They are embracing their shins again. I try again, and this time realize I should be focusing on what he is saying in his smooth, gentle voice. I am feeling the breath flowing down my spine, but can't get it to flow down my legs. Maybe I am clutching my calves too tight, and shutting off the circulation? Relaxing my death grip on my calves, which I am sure will be a nice navy blue tomorrow where my fingers were, I pull myself up to standing. He inanely says to pull ourselves up slowly. Listen, Buster! I couldn't pull myself up any other way BUT slowly! You arenearly crippling me!

Onward to a new move. We tuck our elbows into the crook of our other arm, then wind the arms together like a serpent. Right. I finally get my arms all entwined, and now am supposed to be bending over and feeling the "gentle breathing flow across the upper back". I feel my muscles ripping apart back there. Straightening up, we do it all over, this time with the other arm slithering its way up into agony. My shoulders and back are screaming in righteous pain, while I am closing my eyes and trying to focus on the gentle breath flowing.

Opening my eyes, I now see they are down on the mat again. I wish this guy would speak English and use words I know the meaning of! But I get down, and then I am supposed to get up on my toes with my legs straight back while my arms are in the position to do pushups. I am becoming suspicious of this stuff. I take another peak, and there they are, doing the Dolphin Pose. I get my butt up in the air, my head is on the mat, and now I am supposed to be up on my toes. I have my eyes closed for greater concentration, because he is saying all this stuff about the breath and flow and becoming ONE. I don't feel like ONE. I am sliding forward on my mat, and it is pulling my hair out. My toes are quivering. My arms are shaking. I am DEFINITELY not ONE!!

I finally lower my wrecked body to the floor, rub the places where my hair was pulled out, and get my great moment of sanity: TURN THE DAMNED VIDEO Off!

I find myself sneering with an evil gleam in my eye, reach out, and shut that sucker off.

Limping over to the CD player, I flick that on. I twist. I shout. I sing. I have ARRIVED! I am now ONE!!

  


Yoga, and Becoming "ONE"

Thursday, July 30, 2009

today I thought I would do a new thing. I would do a Yoga video. I am not going to tell you where I found this video, because I hold you in higher regard than that. Suffice that I will never do this video again.

I always think of Yoga as soothing, relaxing and calming. Of becoming "ONE" with the Universe. Of gaining grace, poise and peace. Of walking tall, straight and smoothly, the essence of tranquility in flowing white clothing with Yoga type leather sandals. I do not own such an outfit.

To begin, this guy with such a gentle voice begins telling me all the benefits I will receive within the next 20 minutes. I will become "aware", and will have clarity in my thinking for the rest of the day. I will be "ONE" with the Universe, and be able to feel my breath flowing gently through my body. I will be serene.

Then the instructions begin. He uses words I have never heard of to describe what I am supposed to be doing. Then out comes these three beautiful, skinny perfectly-poised young ladies, all in their one piece stretch yoga outfits, and they seem to have no difficulty in understanding his words.

I watch their moves, and do the "monkey see-monkey do" thing, figuring that after time, I, too, will be able to understand his words. I am doing this side bend thing, and concentrating on feeling my breathing enter into my back rib cage, and it feels good. I close my eyes for greater concentration. Yes, indeed, it does feel good, but when am I supposed to stop??

Opening my eyes, I see they are now down on the mat. When did he say to get down on the mat?? They are doing this thing where they bring up their right foot in between their hands while having the left foot (my ignorant side) stretched way out in the back, on my toes. Ok. I am willing to try that. Just a tiny little problem. My right foot doesn't reach up to the area between my hands. Oh. Wait a minute. I am supposed to be on my FINGERTIPS. Ok. I try to grab my leg and pull it up closer to my hands, and body says "Listen up, Chicky-Babe! Any more of THIS and we are going to tip over"! But I try just a teeny tiny bit more, and we tip over.

Moving on to what they are doing now. I don't remember them saying anything about standing up. But they are indeed up, at the front of their pretty mats, and they are spreading their arms wide and then reaching up to push the ceiling with their clasped fingers. Ok. I can do that. I am reaching up, feeling my breath flowing through the body when I hear him say "Embrace the shins".

EMBRACE THE SHINS???? Did he really say that? I peek, and sure enough, there they all are, bending over and embracing their SHINS. I have never embraced my shins in my entire life. I have banged them up, cut them, bruised them, shaved them, and put sun tan lotion on them. But I have never embraced them.

Keeping an open mind, I try to embrace my shins. I am doing great to be able to touch them, for goodness sakes! I finally get my hands around to the back, and am clutching my calves for all their are worth, when I hear "Push the ceiling up with your entwined fingers". Letting go of my calves, I struggle to straighten up and entwine my fingers and reach up.

This is much better. I like pushing the ceiling. I close my eyes, feeling my breath flowing down the courses of my body, and I am at peace. I am definitely "in tune".

What?? They are embracing their shins again. I try again, and this time realize I should be focusing on what he is saying in his smooth, gentle voice. I am feeling the breath flowing down my spine, but can't get it to flow down my legs. Maybe I am clutching my calves too tight, and shutting off the circulation? Relaxing my death grip on my calves, which I am sure will be a nice navy blue tomorrow where my fingers were, I pull myself up to standing. He inanely says to pull ourselves up slowly. Listen, Buster! I couldn't pull myself up any other way BUT slowly! You arenearly crippling me!

Onward to a new move. We tuck our elbows into the crook of our other arm, then wind the arms together like a serpent. Right. I finally get my arms all entwined, and now am supposed to be bending over and feeling the "gentle breathing flow across the upper back". I feel my muscles ripping apart back there. Straightening up, we do it all over, this time with the other arm slithering its way up into agony. My shoulders and back are screaming in righteous pain, while I am closing my eyes and trying to focus on the gentle breath flowing.

Opening my eyes, I now see they are down on the mat again. I wish this guy would speak English and use words I know the meaning of! But I get down, and then I am supposed to get up on my toes with my legs straight back while my arms are in the position to do pushups. I am becoming suspicious of this stuff. I take another peak, and there they are, doing the Dolphin Pose. I get my butt up in the air, my head is on the mat, and now I am supposed to be up on my toes. I have my eyes closed for greater concentration, because he is saying all this stuff about the breath and flow and becoming ONE. I don't feel like ONE. I am sliding forward on my mat, and it is pulling my hair out. My toes are quivering. My arms are shaking. I am DEFINITELY not ONE!!

I finally lower my wrecked body to the floor, rub the places where my hair was pulled out, and get my great moment of sanity: TURN THE DAMNED VIDEO Off!

I find myself sneering with an evil gleam in my eye, reach out, and shut that sucker off.

Limping over to the CD player, I flick that on. I twist. I shout. I sing. I have ARRIVED! I am now ONE!!

  


Yoga, and Becoming "ONE"

Thursday, July 30, 2009

today I thought I would do a new thing. I would do a Yoga video. I am not going to tell you where I found this video, because I hold you in higher regard than that. Suffice that I will never do this video again.

I always think of Yoga as soothing, relaxing and calming. Of becoming "ONE" with the Universe. Of gaining grace, poise and peace. Of walking tall, straight and smoothly, the essence of tranquility in flowing white clothing with Yoga type leather sandals. I do not own such an outfit.

To begin, this guy with such a gentle voice begins telling me all the benefits I will receive within the next 20 minutes. I will become "aware", and will have clarity in my thinking for the rest of the day. I will be "ONE" with the Universe, and be able to feel my breath flowing gently through my body. I will be serene.

Then the instructions begin. He uses words I have never heard of to describe what I am supposed to be doing. Then out comes these three beautiful, skinny perfectly-poised young ladies, all in their one piece stretch yoga outfits, and they seem to have no difficulty in understanding his words.

I watch their moves, and do the "monkey see-monkey do" thing, figuring that after time, I, too, will be able to understand his words. I am doing this side bend thing, and concentrating on feeling my breathing enter into my back rib cage, and it feels good. I close my eyes for greater concentration. Yes, indeed, it does feel good, but when am I supposed to stop??

Opening my eyes, I see they are now down on the mat. When did he say to get down on the mat?? They are doing this thing where they bring up their right foot in between their hands while having the left foot (my ignorant side) stretched way out in the back, on my toes. Ok. I am willing to try that. Just a tiny little problem. My right foot doesn't reach up to the area between my hands. Oh. Wait a minute. I am supposed to be on my FINGERTIPS. Ok. I try to grab my leg and pull it up closer to my hands, and body says "Listen up, Chicky-Babe! Any more of THIS and we are going to tip over"! But I try just a teeny tiny bit more, and we tip over.

Moving on to what they are doing now. I don't remember them saying anything about standing up. But they are indeed up, at the front of their pretty mats, and they are spreading their arms wide and then reaching up to push the ceiling with their clasped fingers. Ok. I can do that. I am reaching up, feeling my breath flowing through the body when I hear him say "Embrace the shins".

EMBRACE THE SHINS???? Did he really say that? I peek, and sure enough, there they all are, bending over and embracing their SHINS. I have never embraced my shins in my entire life. I have banged them up, cut them, bruised them, shaved them, and put sun tan lotion on them. But I have never embraced them.

Keeping an open mind, I try to embrace my shins. I am doing great to be able to touch them, for goodness sakes! I finally get my hands around to the back, and am clutching my calves for all their are worth, when I hear "Push the ceiling up with your entwined fingers". Letting go of my calves, I struggle to straighten up and entwine my fingers and reach up.

This is much better. I like pushing the ceiling. I close my eyes, feeling my breath flowing down the courses of my body, and I am at peace. I am definitely "in tune".

What?? They are embracing their shins again. I try again, and this time realize I should be focusing on what he is saying in his smooth, gentle voice. I am feeling the breath flowing down my spine, but can't get it to flow down my legs. Maybe I am clutching my calves too tight, and shutting off the circulation? Relaxing my death grip on my calves, which I am sure will be a nice navy blue tomorrow where my fingers were, I pull myself up to standing. He inanely says to pull ourselves up slowly. Listen, Buster! I couldn't pull myself up any other way BUT slowly! You arenearly crippling me!

Onward to a new move. We tuck our elbows into the crook of our other arm, then wind the arms together like a serpent. Right. I finally get my arms all entwined, and now am supposed to be bending over and feeling the "gentle breathing flow across the upper back". I feel my muscles ripping apart back there. Straightening up, we do it all over, this time with the other arm slithering its way up into agony. My shoulders and back are screaming in righteous pain, while I am closing my eyes and trying to focus on the gentle breath flowing.

Opening my eyes, I now see they are down on the mat again. I wish this guy would speak English and use words I know the meaning of! But I get down, and then I am supposed to get up on my toes with my legs straight back while my arms are in the position to do pushups. I am becoming suspicious of this stuff. I take another peak, and there they are, doing the Dolphin Pose. I get my butt up in the air, my head is on the mat, and now I am supposed to be up on my toes. I have my eyes closed for greater concentration, because he is saying all this stuff about the breath and flow and becoming ONE. I don't feel like ONE. I am sliding forward on my mat, and it is pulling my hair out. My toes are quivering. My arms are shaking. I am DEFINITELY not ONE!!

I finally lower my wrecked body to the floor, rub the places where my hair was pulled out, and get my great moment of sanity: TURN THE DAMNED VIDEO Off!

I find myself sneering with an evil gleam in my eye, reach out, and shut that sucker off.

Limping over to the CD player, I flick that on. I twist. I shout. I sing. I have ARRIVED! I am now ONE!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VPOLESKI 7/30/2009 4:25PM

    I agree with you about yoga. I tried it twice, two different videos. I did try but I shut it off before it was over. Glad you had fun afterwards. emoticon

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Lavender and Cougar Speak.

Friday, July 24, 2009

I just finished a very vigorous cardio workout, and must admit I feel GREAT!! I put in my Doo-Wop CD, danced At The Hop, Twisted and Shouted like a True, Fine Mama like the Little Darlin' I am. I cooled down Everday with Buddy Holly. Then I scampered off to the rowing machine, and Rowed, Rowed, Rowed Way Up the River until it was time to switch to the bike. I got in to The Loco-Motion at Palisades Park, knowing I was the Leader of the Pack. I shouted at DH and Tell Him to Come Go With Me, and Remember Then the Lover's Question about Runaway Sue, but he declined. He is the one who never gains weight.........the CAD!! Fine. I just Can't Wait until he is ready for the Ooby Dooby. I'll Do It My Way.

All the whining about all those early exercises Heather pounded me with are really paying off. I have more energy, my outlook on life is better, and I even look forward to the workouts these days. I won't claim that will always be the case, but right now, I am enjoying being re-energized.

I didn't get all the chores done that I planned on yesterday, but I made a good beginning. The laundry is finished, the guest room is back in shape, the guest bathroom is once again shining and bright. The hardwood floors are all mopped, and fresh lavender is in the containers.

I went up my hill yesterday to cut some fresh lavender, and there was a catty person in the trees by the lavender. It started to talk to me, and I was answering. I sat on the wall, and the cat and I conversed for about a half hour. We had a very nice time. Just chatting away. I kept trying to see the cat, but couldn't. I told the cat all about the quilt show, Ally's visit, and that it was a lovely day to be out and about. Cat replied in the affirmative. She (ALL cats are "SHE's, as all doggies are "He's") made many comments once I got up and started cutting the lavender. I kept inviting her to join me, but she stayed within the trees. I came down the hill, looked back up, and Holy Cow!!! A COUGAR was standing there, looking at me!!! I made one giant step toward my front door, but she just stood there, meowing at me. So I began to talk back to her. She didn't seem to be interested in having me for dinner, and I was close to the front door anyway, so I didn't mind that she didn't come closer and just wanted to continue our chat. Then suddenly, wioth no warning whatsoever, she made a huge leap off to the lavender bed, jumped over them, and then took off into the forest.

I realize this is a one time life event. Or at least I think it is. And it was a fine event, indeed. Just not one I would care to have very often, or up close and personal.

As I look back on it now, I wish I had had a camera and recorder with me. Alas, only my memories to serve me.

Seeing a cougar in the "wild" is not the same as seeing one at the zoo. The ones I have seen behind their cages all look bored. This one was definitely NOT bored! She was alert, beautiful, vibrant. She was a fine example of nature's beauty. I feel priveledged to have met her acquaintance.

Now I am off to shower off my dried sweat and begin the rest of my day. I am meeting a new friend for an iced Mocha at five, and look forward to that. Iced Mocha is wonderful, especially when it is shared with a new friend!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVESCAMPING 7/24/2009 8:30PM

    Well, I was all prepared to leave a comment about the coolness of incorporating the song titles into you blog.

Then I read on. I'm almost speechless, or is it wordless since this is writing. A cougar sounds like a cat???? Wow! Amazing! And awesome!

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DARCEYOH 7/24/2009 4:31PM

    Boy your cougar sighting is a little more intimdating than my cougar sighting. It's neat seeing the "rare" animals of the forest, as long as you're within reaching distance of safety, or in my case, in my car.

Happy Friday!

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Getting My Life Back

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The quilt show is over, the Lavender Festival has come and gone, Ally returned home and it is time to get my life back in shape.

I started yesterday by doing over two hours of gardening.I pruned hedges and trees away from the house, did watering and general clean-up. There is still so much to do outside, since I have totally neglected all of it this year.

I let things "get in the way" of my plans, which I am sure none of you ever do! Especially volunteering. I need to either stick with the goal of not volunteering for 90 days or get the T-shirt that reads "Help me NOT Volunteer!!". Probably both!

When the quilt show chairperson announced we were going to be short on quilts, I volunteered to put in 9 quilts. Some of them were finished, most were not. So I had to quilt until my brains fell out. Of course, I procrastinated on several of them, and wound up pulling two out of the show. But I did manage to finish seven out of nine, which is very good indeed.

Then I said "Oh, Goody!" when the opportunity presented itself to put up a wall about the Ally Cat Quilts by Krackers, less than two weeks before the show. Now, mind you, NOTHING was ready to go OR planned for such a wall. I called Ally and she came out to help. It was a great thing that I had her! She took over the design boards for the show, did all the computer work, helped design the quilt which had to be made, and did the collage board of photos of some of our recipients. That left me to quilt and cook. I quilted furiously, and cooked very little. We were on a MISSION! There was no time to waste, and everything was needing to be done NOW. Somehow, we got it all finished with three days left before the show.

My house is a total mess. While taking breaks here and there for Ally, we now have a lot of "stuff!" all over the place. We have cross bows, arrows, and other bows for archery. The target bales of hay have to be moved back to the barn so I can get to another flower bed that needs tending and watering.

We have guns, air guns target sheets and bullets on the kitchen table. The shooting exercises are over, and they really should all be safely put away again.

We have all sorts of microphones and recording equipment sitting around in the living room for when we recorded Ally playing the piano. That all has to be put away too.

The dining room table has one of my sewing machines sitting on it after it stopped working correctly during the quilting frenzy. DH has to fix that before it gets put away for the duration of my life.

The Quilt Room. Ah. yes. The quilt room! It is truly a study of quilt madness. Fabric, books, quilts, batting, patterns, Steam a Seam 2, tapes, all a-jumble. The long arm machine is totally covered, and there is not one bit of it in sight. It is layered with God only know WHAT! The sewing room has bits of thread and fabric all over the floor, the ironing board is totally covered over, and the cat won't even try to get to her bed in there.

My office is a study in disaster. Between books, measuring tapes, papers of all sorts, telephone books, crayons, exercise equipment and unopened mail, there is a tiny pathway to the computer, which also has a box of Kleenex on top of that.

Winsten, the dog, went over to the neighbor's and rolled in horse poop again. Lovely. The cats are driving me crazy with their in and out game.

And I have just learned that I have graduated into Stage 3, whatever that means. I suspect it means more exercise and being more careful about what I shove in my mouth.

I am really terrible about what I eat when I am on deadlines. I just grab anything that's handy, and keep moving. I used the excuse of Ally being here to eat most of the brownies and have become a favorite customer at Quizno's. I am amazed that I actualy lost one pound last week.

So, dear friends, this is what my life looks like today. There is the first load in the washer, I am making my list of chores needing to be done, and glaring at my dog who just HATES his shower. I will let DH handle that one. Think getting everything in order again could be counted as exercise points???

On top of all this, I am really tired out, too! But I need my life in order or I get cranky, very cranky. and that is not a good thing.

I am off to finding my life again. I think I still have a life; it will be a definite challenge to uncover, discover and discard until I find it under the heaps. Again, I am a woman on a Mission!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOTFATCAT 7/23/2009 8:06PM

    Whew, I'm tired just reading this. You do need to take a few moments to consider how to get your food choices under control so you can be healthy and happy.
Breathe.

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LOVESCAMPING 7/23/2009 3:30PM

    Sounds like you and Ally had a lot of fun though. Busy, busy bee. Wow, seven quilts!!! When I was quilting it took me months to make one. I do believe you're Super Woman, all in all.

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ALMMOM 7/23/2009 3:27PM

    Amid all the challenges - seems you got at least the quilts done!!! It is so easy to let things slide.

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DARCEYOH 7/23/2009 2:26PM

    Sounds like you've got some work to do. At least it'll keep you busy for a while.

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