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Some Sunday Smiles

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Judas Asparagus

If you need a laugh today, then this should do it!

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.

This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. It has been around a couple of times, but always produces a smile.

I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are

Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God,
darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I
think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't
embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from
the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because
they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who
lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of
his kids was kind of a Ham.

Noah built a large boat and put his family and
some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said
they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his
brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some
pot roast.

Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.
Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh
after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included
frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His
Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or
covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use
spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a
slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500
porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was
Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to
worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The
New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn
too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born
in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees
and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some
Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the
Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up
to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is
foretold in the book of Revolution.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOLAZYBUTT110 5/27/2011 10:00AM

    I wonder if a kid really wrote it. I think sometimes it was an adult. lol I have seen different versions of this written. susana

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GETFIT2LIVE 5/23/2011 12:06PM

    Ow, ow, ow--that hurts from laughing so hard . . . gotta make sure my hubby reads this one!


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LOULOUBELLE2 5/22/2011 10:52PM

    Out of the mouths of babes......... emoticon

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MPENNE 5/22/2011 8:26PM


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KAYDE53 5/22/2011 7:29PM


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AMYJEAN911 5/22/2011 7:06PM


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ILLINITEACHER52 5/22/2011 5:48PM

  LOL - have to print and share that one. Thanks

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JUGE300000 5/22/2011 12:52PM



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The Face of Pure Joy

Sunday, May 15, 2011

This is Ally, my granddaughter.

Ally is now 18, is a cancer survivor, and knows JOY is in every living moment. She is a true motivator for living life on life's terms.

Ally was robbed of years of childhood due to cancer, but never gave up. She worked very hard in finding something to laugh about every day, and on the really tough days, she would search for a smile.

Ally's motto is "Refuse to Live Life Like You're Already Dead", and she lives up to that in all ways.

She is quite independent, and more mature than kids her age due to her personal life experiences.

I wish you guys could hear her play the piano. She doesn't just "play the notes"; she LIVES the music, and lives FOR music.

She doesn't worry if she has a boyfriend or not.........she's much more motivated than that. She knows she has college ahead of her, and is looking forward to that with great gusto. Ally knows there is much more to life than having a boyfriend.

In case you are wondering what has made her happy in THIS photo, it is the root beer float she is holding.

Root Beer Float??? you might be asking.

Yes, a Root Beer Float.

I defy anyone to be grumpy when they are having a root beer float.

You see, sometimes all we do is look at the negative. We gripe about this......we bitch about that.........get into Pity Parties for One......because we "can't" do this, or we "can't" do that.

We focus on the negative, and then cry because we are unhappy.

Well, DUH!!!! Take a good look and see just WHO is making you unhappy! (hint: You will find the person in the mirror).

Even if life is giving you a bit of a rough time, you can handle it with ease IF you allow yourself to raise your eyes from the floor, look around, and see the beauty surrounding you.

You can play lovely music, read inspirational literature, watch really good, uplifting movies.

You can go outside and smell the rain. Now, honestly, how long has it been since you deliberately smelled the rain?? It is the cleanest scent you will ever find.

You can marvel at the beauty of a bush or a tree or a flower, and lift your soul as you watch a bird in flight.

You can make a gratitude list of all the things you HAVE that you mostly ignore. Share the list with a loved one after you complete it. You will find that you will NEVER complete it, because there are zillions of things to list, if you will just look around.

I urge you all to find your laughter, and finding your laughter, you will have found your joy.


Just ask Ally!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEWACHA 5/19/2011 10:07AM

    Often the "YOUNG" have much to teach - we need but listen.

Thank you for sharing.

Your timing was just what I needed today.... I lost my brother yesterday.

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WALKAWAY 5/19/2011 9:52AM

    Beautiful blog, beautiful young lady.
emoticonfor sharing and reminding us to "Live Life."

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GETFIT2LIVE 5/19/2011 1:51AM

    I love the pictures of Ally! What a beautiful young woman she has grown up to be. Life experiences like she has had teach you to find joy wherever you can. Thank you for the reminder!

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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 5/17/2011 7:41PM

    She is beautiful! I will try to remember Ally's motto... ""Refuse to Live Life Like You're Already Dead" the next time I'm having a "pity party for one". She is an inspiration! Thank you for sharing...
Hugs to you both,

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GINTEX 5/16/2011 10:47PM

    I love Ally Motto: "Refuse to Live Life Like You're Already Dead." Thank you for sharing her with us. What a good reminder.

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KINSBAILE 5/16/2011 9:30AM

    Ally is an inspiration to all of us! Thank you for posting this!

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DIANESMILES 5/15/2011 10:32PM

    INDEED who can be GRUMPY with a ROOTBEER float in ur hand,,, and just a WAITING to TASTE those WONDERFUL bubbles !!!??? I DEFY ANYONE to be sad with one !!!! Ally's story is AMAZING ! I put "I Like this" so hopefully others who didn't see it,,,will cos if enough of us do that,,,It'll get posted. Such an uplifting story !!! I have a granddaughter who's now 15 and when she was 7 was in a HORRIFIC car/truck accident. For 3 HORRIBLE days I NEVER EVER want to repeat in my days she laid in a coma, we didn't know if she'd be Ok when she made it out of it. WOW Where we SCARED ! So is life PRECIOUS? YOU BETCHA !!!! These kids are UNREAL huh? I have mine over EVERY WEEKEND and school vacations/holidays though she's now 15. Her Mom works and is very tired with a chronic illness herself. So it's GRANDMA to the RESCUE and I LOVE it. You being a Grandma can relate.

Ally, like Sarah has learned a life's lesson when very young,,,, Sarah also see's NO need of a BF right now, she also has GOALS with her art work,,, she's DETERMINED to NOT be like her Mom. LOL. I WISH Ally the BEST !!

TY again for ALL YOU DO !!! GOOOO SPIRITED UNDER DOGS !! NOW I see WHY you choose THIS team !

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BEVPRESLEY 5/15/2011 9:00PM

    She is BEAUTIFUL! Thanks so much for sharing, what a inspiration she is. And you are right, who wouldn't be happy with a root beer float.

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NOLAZYBUTT110 5/15/2011 8:40PM

    She is so BEAUTIFUL and has a lovely smile and one can almost hear the squeals as she laughs. ... LOVE Rootbeer floats! Just hope she did not have it squirt thru hernose! It can do that! lol
I am happy for her surviving cancer. And she is so right to eb so joyful and appreciate her life!

My granddaughter has survived also! (we been thru that several times too!( (Granddaughter had Synovial cell sarcoma). My Mother died of a rare fallopian tube cancer . My aunt died of breast cancer and my uncle died of Brain cancer). But another aunt survived uterine cancer and one skin cancer, and I have an uncle who still is surviving and has Lung cancer. They dont know how much time he has but he was too stubborn to give up his smoking and now lives on oxygen and but still smokes. ( dam fool!) .

Comment edited on: 5/15/2011 8:44:11 PM

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MPENNE 5/15/2011 8:10PM

    Beautiful girl.

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MCJULIEO 5/15/2011 3:31PM

    All good points! Thanks so much for sharing, and please tell Ally that we are lifted up by her story!

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CHEDDARSMAMMA 5/15/2011 3:26PM

    Thanks for sharing, you've made a lot of good points and your granddaughter is lovely inside and out from what you say. emoticon please pass that along to her.

BTW, I know that I've personally never been unhappy with a root beer float in my hands so the reason for that giant smile was no surprise to me!

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DOTTIEJANE1 5/15/2011 3:23PM

    A lovely picture story of life , and courage . This young lady will be and do many great things in life. Thanks for sharing emoticon

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 5/15/2011 3:10PM

    emoticon What a wonderful perfect story. I love her courage and bravery. Give her a hug from me.

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Did 3 videos today!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Hi Guys,
I am in a bit of a rush today, so this will be short and sweet.

Well, ok. I am seldom SWEET, but perhaps I can be SHORT.

I did 3 of the challenge videos with Roach Coach Nicole today, and found out a few new things.

First, on the resistance band video, I didn't hear until today that on one of them I was supposed to have the band across my back, and then do the push-ups. I corrected myself by doing it the right way. It makes quite a difference.

My kick boxing thing went a bit better than normal. I didn't do things all HER way, but I tried. That thing where we are supposed to kick out to the sides really unbalances me, but I keep trying.

While I was trying today, my cat YeowLing was doing her usual.........lying on her back, watching. She really thinks she is clever doing that kind of a workout.

Let's face it.......if we could all get away with doing that, we would be doing it with her!

Today it wasn't such a good idea for her.

I was trying to do that side kicking out thing, and YeowLing had decided that a good place to lie down and be a lazy slug would be right underneath me.

You know it. I lost my balance, and tipped over right on top of her. She was out the door before her scream was even heard.

She did come back in when it was time for me to cripple myself permanently with the AB video. She showed no sympathy, and pretty much did the whole workout lying on her back, glaring at me.

Now I must sign and rush off. My Elna is all fixed, and I am going to do quilting!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMACOO 5/13/2011 10:59PM

    My dog got smacked in the head with the Wii controller earlier in the week. She was trying to "help" me exercise and I didn't know she was so close. It didn't hurt her, but at least she stayed away for a little while. I love my puppy, but she is NO help when I exercise.

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ANDREWS_MOM 5/13/2011 9:29PM


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GRAMMAMARY 5/13/2011 9:19PM

    Great job doing 3 videos. My balance has improved since I have been doing Wii Fit with the balance board. It still needs work (as the coaches say) but I can tell by my scores that it is improving. There are a few I still need to use some support for. Luckily I don't have any pets around to land on when I do lose my balance.

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TYBEWALLACE 5/13/2011 8:47PM

    Pets are funny aren't they.......my dogs think my floor exercises are meant for them to lick my face.....
Have a wonderful weekend.......Sheryl

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GRANDMA1951 5/13/2011 7:46PM

    I'm going to do Coach Nicole in. I don't think that I'll ever get it. Congrats on doing 3 of her workouts in 1 day. You go girl!!

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A New Barometer and Day 10

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I havwe a new goal.

I read on a teammate's blog this morning that she can see her collar bones.

I touched where mine are supposed to be, and sure enough, I can feel them. I wasn't going to go look to see if I could SEE them, but my curiosity won out.

Sure enough, I go to the bathroom and look. Nope. They don't show up.

Therefore, that is going to be my new barometer. To lose enough weight to see my collar bones.

I already know that I have lost inches due to how my clothes are fitting.

But now I want collar bones! Yep. That is my new barometer.

Today I am feeling a bit better, so got on the bike and did a very vigorous 30 minutes. Stretched, then put on the video.

Today was my day for the Lunging crap with Nicole.

I still do not lunge well.

I certainly do NOT look like her!

I kind of flop around, death grip on the desk, and trying to do SOMETHING.

I call it SOMETHING, because it is not what I see on the video.

Some times I am kneeling on my back leg, sometimes I am kneeling with both legs, and sometimes who the hell knows what I am doing.

I sure don't.

I do a few things I am good at, and then the witch says we are supposed to be squatting and then kick our legs out to the side.

This is NOT happening. Not with MY body it ain't!!

I stand and kick out to the side, not even bothering to do the squat and try it. I squat in between the kick-outs.

It goes kinda like this: Squat, gripping the desk. Straighten up, gripping the desk and kick out to the side.

Then I get all mixed up again. As you know, this is easy for me to do.

I'm kicking my leg in front of me, hitting the desk with my toes, and then I'm on the floor, cussing at the video.

I hit my toes straight on, and let me tell you, that doesn't exactly keep one in the exercise mode!!

I decide I will STAY on the floor, and do some leg lifts from there. These, I can do.

I no longer CARE what she is doing on the video........I am in Kick Heaven on the floor.

I switch sides, and do some more, even over the roar of the insulted toes.

Now she is stretching. I can do those.

I stretch my lower body. I stretch my legs. I rock back and forth for a good stretch of my inner thighs. She quits; I stretch my arms.

I'm done for this workout. My toes are still throbbing. My teeth are still grinding.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETFIT2LIVE 5/13/2011 1:59PM

    You know, some day we will have to make an exercise video of our own for real people with moves that we can actually do, LOL! You are doing so much better than me with the videos, I am jealous. And you will see your collar bones again very soon--you do not want to get TOO thin, though, just healthy.


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NOLAZYBUTT110 5/13/2011 8:28AM

    Hey dont over do it... being skinny as a rail is no barometer for being healthy! (Not for me) That's DEATH on a stick! lol As long as your losing and still feeling the floor under you, and able to do your every day deeds, I figure your breathing and able to get about! Your breathing and losing , thats good enough. Being bony thin is no meter for health! (I saw my own mother get that thin and she died 6 months later!) You have to have a balance! Stay healthy and just move and you will be healthier! BUT do... Enjoy your LIFE!

Comment edited on: 5/13/2011 8:30:22 AM

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AMYJEAN911 5/11/2011 9:06PM

    "I no longer CARE what she is doing on the video........I am in Kick Heaven on the floor. "

ROFLMAO! That's exactly how I felt during that stupid pilates-ish video the other day. I literally cursed her out loud when I was certain I was dying and she offered me a more CHALLENGING pose if I would like it. More challenging? Really? Grrrr.

I think your lunges rock, whatever form they take. Hope the toes recover quickly.

I like the collarbone idea. I might join you on that one.. as well as basic poundage goals, of course.

emoticon emoticon

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3IN4YO 5/11/2011 8:03PM


Why do we always think that we must be the only one who...I could see me with that DVD. Been there, done that!! Oh, thanks so much for sharing. How nice it is to laugh together!! And how much more determined I'm going to be!!!

I think the collarbones will be coming, for sure!

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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 5/11/2011 6:35PM

    Thank you!!!! I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Because,dear lady, I was right there with you! I was doing lunges today.. (well my version anyway. Which involves hanging onto my kitchen counter because who knows what will happen if I try to lunge without something solid to hang onto!) and your description seemed very familiar to me! It's good to laugh about it... emoticon

Oh, I want to see my collar bones too!!!! So I will keep trying, hanging on when necessary, and hopefully I will see my collar bones someday soon... I hope your toes are ok. emoticon

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FUTUREHOPE49 5/11/2011 6:34PM

    You deserve to see your shoulder blades soon! You are really trying hard! You made me laugh with your description of your video exercise. I can remember doing some of those and my balance was useless. I am hopeless at lunges even now, but my balance is a lot better. Keep up the good work! emoticon emoticon

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TYBEWALLACE 5/11/2011 6:04PM

    Awwww you are so sweet, I know you will see them soon...
I love your description of the videos too you sound so much like me trying to do them.... I keep hoping "one day" I will be able to keep up better and look more like coach...

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GRAMMAMARY 5/11/2011 3:32PM

    I find I have to modify some exercise moves because my old body just will not go the way they want you to. Usually I end up laughing at myself and telling the video to get real.
At least you stuck with it and did what you could do.
Keep at it and you'll be able to see your collarbone in no time.

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JOEYKTTN 5/11/2011 3:23PM

    LOL! I'm sorry for your poor toes :( But I can so envision this whole blog (only me, not you) and I'm dying over here in laughter! Good for you for sticking to it, and giving it your all! emoticon

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I'm Going Slow

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

BUT! I am going to try to catch up in small segments today.

You guys are so wonderful, flooding me with all your get well wishes and teas and fruit and hugs and...........and...........and.......

I might be slow today, but at least I am not giving up!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3IN4YO 5/11/2011 8:11PM


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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 5/11/2011 6:47PM


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TYBEWALLACE 5/11/2011 5:52PM

    I don't think giving up is in your vocabulary... emoticon

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TARAHA 5/11/2011 2:42PM

    Take care of yourself first and foremost!

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MPENNE 5/11/2011 2:06PM


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GRANDMA1951 5/11/2011 1:32PM

    It's the tortoise that won the race. Hope you feel better soon.

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JOHNWBROCKSR777 5/11/2011 1:23PM

    Hang in there.

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