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Getting My Life Back

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The quilt show is over, the Lavender Festival has come and gone, Ally returned home and it is time to get my life back in shape.

I started yesterday by doing over two hours of gardening.I pruned hedges and trees away from the house, did watering and general clean-up. There is still so much to do outside, since I have totally neglected all of it this year.

I let things "get in the way" of my plans, which I am sure none of you ever do! Especially volunteering. I need to either stick with the goal of not volunteering for 90 days or get the T-shirt that reads "Help me NOT Volunteer!!". Probably both!

When the quilt show chairperson announced we were going to be short on quilts, I volunteered to put in 9 quilts. Some of them were finished, most were not. So I had to quilt until my brains fell out. Of course, I procrastinated on several of them, and wound up pulling two out of the show. But I did manage to finish seven out of nine, which is very good indeed.

Then I said "Oh, Goody!" when the opportunity presented itself to put up a wall about the Ally Cat Quilts by Krackers, less than two weeks before the show. Now, mind you, NOTHING was ready to go OR planned for such a wall. I called Ally and she came out to help. It was a great thing that I had her! She took over the design boards for the show, did all the computer work, helped design the quilt which had to be made, and did the collage board of photos of some of our recipients. That left me to quilt and cook. I quilted furiously, and cooked very little. We were on a MISSION! There was no time to waste, and everything was needing to be done NOW. Somehow, we got it all finished with three days left before the show.

My house is a total mess. While taking breaks here and there for Ally, we now have a lot of "stuff!" all over the place. We have cross bows, arrows, and other bows for archery. The target bales of hay have to be moved back to the barn so I can get to another flower bed that needs tending and watering.

We have guns, air guns target sheets and bullets on the kitchen table. The shooting exercises are over, and they really should all be safely put away again.

We have all sorts of microphones and recording equipment sitting around in the living room for when we recorded Ally playing the piano. That all has to be put away too.

The dining room table has one of my sewing machines sitting on it after it stopped working correctly during the quilting frenzy. DH has to fix that before it gets put away for the duration of my life.

The Quilt Room. Ah. yes. The quilt room! It is truly a study of quilt madness. Fabric, books, quilts, batting, patterns, Steam a Seam 2, tapes, all a-jumble. The long arm machine is totally covered, and there is not one bit of it in sight. It is layered with God only know WHAT! The sewing room has bits of thread and fabric all over the floor, the ironing board is totally covered over, and the cat won't even try to get to her bed in there.

My office is a study in disaster. Between books, measuring tapes, papers of all sorts, telephone books, crayons, exercise equipment and unopened mail, there is a tiny pathway to the computer, which also has a box of Kleenex on top of that.

Winsten, the dog, went over to the neighbor's and rolled in horse poop again. Lovely. The cats are driving me crazy with their in and out game.

And I have just learned that I have graduated into Stage 3, whatever that means. I suspect it means more exercise and being more careful about what I shove in my mouth.

I am really terrible about what I eat when I am on deadlines. I just grab anything that's handy, and keep moving. I used the excuse of Ally being here to eat most of the brownies and have become a favorite customer at Quizno's. I am amazed that I actualy lost one pound last week.

So, dear friends, this is what my life looks like today. There is the first load in the washer, I am making my list of chores needing to be done, and glaring at my dog who just HATES his shower. I will let DH handle that one. Think getting everything in order again could be counted as exercise points???

On top of all this, I am really tired out, too! But I need my life in order or I get cranky, very cranky. and that is not a good thing.

I am off to finding my life again. I think I still have a life; it will be a definite challenge to uncover, discover and discard until I find it under the heaps. Again, I am a woman on a Mission!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOTFATCAT 7/23/2009 8:06PM

    Whew, I'm tired just reading this. You do need to take a few moments to consider how to get your food choices under control so you can be healthy and happy.

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LOVESCAMPING 7/23/2009 3:30PM

    Sounds like you and Ally had a lot of fun though. Busy, busy bee. Wow, seven quilts!!! When I was quilting it took me months to make one. I do believe you're Super Woman, all in all.

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ALMMOM 7/23/2009 3:27PM

    Amid all the challenges - seems you got at least the quilts done!!! It is so easy to let things slide.

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DARCEYOH 7/23/2009 2:26PM

    Sounds like you've got some work to do. At least it'll keep you busy for a while.

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Ally Cat and the Quilt Show

Friday, July 03, 2009

Hey Sportsfans, It has been a while since you last suffered hearing from me, so I figure it is now time to check in. Lots is going on in my house these past days. As usual, I procrastinated by being on this site for too long during the days and haven't gotten all my quilting done for the show July 16. I still have one to finish quilting, binding and labeling, one to put the sleeve on, and another to start from scratch!! So why did I take on this kind of schedule?? you ask. Because I am nuts. Yes, I admit it, I am nuts. Loony tunes. One fry short of a full order. Not the brightest spark in the campfire and a mental midget. Here's what has come close to putting me over the edge. I went to my quilt club on Wednesday, minded my own business, when Lydia (She Who Must Be Obeyed and is in charge of the entire quilt show) saunters up to me and says "Hey! Guess WHAT!! Someone just pulled her quilt from the show, and I have a 7 foot wide wall that I am turning over to you to do an Ally Cat Quilts by Krackers with!" So, as usual, I don't even give a moment to think and jumped on it with great enthusiasm. Just think! A whole wall for the Ally Cat Quilts by Krackers! She wants me to make a quilt to hang, plus have photos and all kinds of information as to what ACQbyK is all about. Plus contact information. WONDERFUL!! I CAN DO IT!! We can get the word out and hopefully get more kids covered! Life is GOOD! Uh, until I am driving home. Then the latent brain wakes up and says "You said ok to WHAT??? Do you realized just what you stepped in to?? Like you have time to make another quilt, make posters, gather photos, design another wall................Are You NUTS??" Now, you may or may not know it, but when my brain starts telling me I am nuts, that is usually a dangerous place for me. I can feel the anchors of dread weighing me down, my eyes are those of a deer in the headlights, my mouth goes dry and I am heading into a great panic attack, which usually results in a shop til I drop syndrome or something equally distressing. I would go shopping, but I simply don't have the time! What to do. What to DO???? Hey, didn't someone once tell me that asking for help is okay? Shhhhhh.....don't let my Mom hear you. She never believed in asking ANY body for help for any THING! She was a frequent user of the saying "If you want something done, do it yourself". I can still hear her saying that, even from her grave, where she has been for quite a number of years. Getting back to asking for help. Hmmmmm...........I need help in making posters. Who to ask? I know! I will "mention" it to Bossy Daughter, who has talent galore, plus Christine, age 14. Christine is one of these yoga/tofu/soy/daily run/fitness freaks who is also very artistically talented. Bossy Daughter said I would have to ask Christine if she wants to come out and help me. I am shocked by that suggestion, mull it over for about 15 seconds, and see the wisdom in it. OK. I call Christine, who is not home, but is out somewhere swinging from a tire swing and dropping into a river instead of waiting patiently for my call. She finally returns my call, we discuss what I need help with, she is confident it is really no big thing to design a wall, make posters and everything else that has to be done before the 16th, and then lays the bomb on me. She has too many plans with her friends, and can't come out for the amount of time I need her, PLUS she has a concert to go to that she paid for nearly a year ago. UGH. No help from HER! She is also the same granddaughter who asked me to quit smoking as her Christmas gift a year and a half ago, knowing (and reminding me!) that I have never said "No" to her. She is some kind of monster, that one!! So of course I say I will, because she asked, but then while I was suffering from withdrawals (actually I didn't have any because I used the Chantrix) I didn't talk to her. She never noticed, and if she did, she didn't care. She's that kind of kid. She knows when she "gets" you, and isn't bothered if you take it hard. She just goes on with her life as if she has any sense at all, totally oblivious to the fact that others are ticked off at her. She flings her blonde hair over her shoulders and heads off to another health thing. She really is "All That". Then I think again. Hey wait a minute. I wonder if Ally can take a couple weeks off her summer babysitting job to come out and help me? That is worth asking Bossy Daughter about. I get informed that Ally's summer job fell through, so she is free, and I need to talk to HER. Bossy Daughter is not a good "Middle Man", and she makes me do all my own footwork. So Ally and I get talking on the phone, and she is enthused about the project. Yes! She WILL come out!! YES! She will come out this Sunday, and stay with us through the 20th! YES! She is looking forward with a lot of neat ideas for the posters and design wall, and YES! She will be there for the quilt show, at "OUR" wall. So while she is on the phone, I get online and make her plane reservations. Dash the cost!! Full speed ahead!!! Houston, we have a LIFT OFF!!! The REAL Ally Cat will be with Krackers at the Sunbonnet Sue Quilt Club Show 2009 in Sequim, WA, letting the public know all about the project of the ACQbyK, how to contact us, how to donate (hopefully) to our cause, all that stuff. She is even going to bring her portable shot thingy so show on the board, along with other ideas as to what the kids do while in hospital, hanging some of the jewelry she made during her hospital stays. Won't this just be a grand thing!!! I wish each and every one of you could come to see us work the crowd together! Anyway, I have also gotten permission from my friend, Cindy, to bring my quilts over for help putting the binding on the one, labels on and the sleeve on the other at her BBQ for the 4th of July. There will be three of us quilters there, and they are eager to help with getting the quilts finished. Isn't that nice?? I have wonderful friends. Now I have to sign off and get my side of the work done. Lots to do before Sunday morning: Finish quilting one quilt, get its binding, sleeve and label on, attend the BBQ, get the sleeve on the BIG quilt finished, and make an Ally Cat Quilt by Krackers at least cut out. You probably already know that it is doubtful you will hear much from me until the rush is all over. I will take a lot of photos for you, and post them when stuff gets done. In the meantime, have yourself a fun holiday, marvel over fireworks, and keep up your support! You guys are becoming the wind beneath my wings.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARCEYOH 7/8/2009 7:18PM

    That's so neat that you quilt. I've made a couple blankets, a few pillows, and some bags.

Have fun quilting and showing!

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Denial Is NOT A River In EGYPT!

Monday, June 29, 2009

I am starting all over again. I was just screwing up in the nutrition area too much. Too much fat, too little carbs and protien and for the most part, keeping within my calorie range. That resulted in a big fat flop for me. I keep getting my old ideas back about not eating three times a day (TOO MUCH! says old thinking) and believing I could lose tonnage by exercising it away. Well, it worked for inches, but the scale only moved UP one pound in the past three weeks. Time for some honest self discipline, which I am not a long term subscriber to. I made a vow and a challenge to eat three meals a day this whole week. So far I have done very well on two days, which actually seem like two months. But five to go sounds better than seven to go, so I will do today what I don't have to do for a lifetime. See? There's my friend, Denial. For most of my life, I have been bosom buddies with Denial. She and I got along just fine, thank you, until Ms. Reality stepped in to the mix. Here we were, Denial and me, having the time of our lives, living in our own reality called La La Land. In La La Land, the skies are all pink and pearly, the trees all have bright red apples on them and their leaves are teal. The grass is an appropriate Lime Green. Water is Lavender, the birds are all blue, the flowers all sing happy songs all day long with their faces smiling sweetly as we go by. Butterflies come kiss our cheeks, roses shake themselves to release their perfume to us, there are pots of gold coins all over the place and very comfortable benches to sit on. It is the perfect temperature in La La Land, and only the people who adore, agree and approve of me are allowed in. As I said, La La Land, Denial and I were in BLISS. Then along comes that party crasher, Ms. Reality. She RIPS off my rose colored glasses and tells me to "Get WITH It Already"! Now I ask you, is this FAIR?? Notice I didn't go barging into HER world demanding change. Oh NO. I was staying put in my own little La La Land world, happy as a clam, when she intrudes. She does her level best to smash down all the walls, making the colors change and the flowers to become weeds. The Butterflies who so gently kissed my cheek have turned in to mosquitos, the pink sky changes hourly, causing great confusion in my mind. The roses all need dead-heading, the brown grass needs mowing and the apples are all worm infested. The buzzards are circling around, waiting for me to give up. Reality is not my favorite place. And Ms. Reality and Ms. Smarmy are really close buddies, so while Ms. Reality is kicking my butt about what I am really eating and how much I really weight, Ms. Smarmy is doing her smirky closed lipped smile while JOY!!!! jumps from her eyes. She loves to see me catch hell. And Ms. Reality is really giving it to me. First, she demands I get on the scale. Now we all know that is an evil place. One pound UP!?! How can that BE? What does she mean by "Review your food choices, Idiot" ?? You mean I have to go BACK and LOOK at what I put in my mouth? WHY??? Just leave me and Denial alone. We were having a good time thinking of making brownies so I could have just one teeny tiny itsy bitsy brownie this week. Ms. Reality asks acidly "Forgot the Cookie Episode, did we"? Oh, she has to GO! No fair remembering stuff like that. Let's just remember the green beans I had instead. So she shoves me back on the scale after I look at my past week's intake, and sure enough, the scale is still on HER side. How can that BEEEE???? I did my cardio stuff and strength training! I even did some that I didn't COUNT! This is all sounding like a bit of whining on my part, and she doesn't even offer me any cheese with my whine. Rude. Then we get out the tape measure. Ooops, not so good. Not so bad, either, but then I see Ms. Reality's eyebrow lift while her lips twist into a sneer. Ok, ok. Get off my back already! She forces me to re-read the article on putting our body into Starvation Mode, where she points out that I am doing every single ONE of the "what not to do's", then writes out her report to give to Principal Guilty. I just know I will hear THAT one calling me on the carpet! It always takes DAYS and MONTHS to get over THAT lecture! I will take the easier, softer way. I go to my pantry and freezer, take inventory, and see what I can do for Saturday. I see left over chicken. Hey, didn't I see a recipe for some kind of curry chicken wrap on the sp site? I'll take a look at that again. Yep, sure enough, there it is, and I have everything to make it! This is good. I also spied my Rice Chex cereal box, bought about five lifetimes ago, and have a bowl of that for breakfast WITH a glass of apple juice, I will have you know! I make it through the entire day, having eaten three meals and didn't go over any of my points. I go to bed satisfied, fall asleep and dream of eating dark chocolate. (The HEALTHY chocolate, right?) Sunday morning is my usual breakfast meeting, with my 2 poached eggs and one piece of ww toast, followed by a trip to Costco........the trap. I charge right on in, head for the produce department first, grab lettuce, beef steak tomatoes, bananas, grapes, strawberried, and cantaloup. Toss in that bag of artichokes! I snatch up the chicken packets to make the dog food (Winsten is a gourmet eater), then blast myself over to the milk isle. I search for the latest date, and there it is, under a few of the older containers. I can easily slide the newer one out from under, except that when I do, the top three come tumbling down. I put them all back in order, AFTER taking the one I wanted, and avoid the glare from the man waiting with his shopping cart. On I push, heading for the cereal isle. I am looking for Special K, but can only find the boxes with those nasty red "berries", which are really colored puff peanuts we use for packing and begin to read all of labels that claim to be healthy for us. I finally settle on a cereal that reads "LIFE" on the box, because the nutrients and calories on this one seem better all over the others. I whiz past the chocolate caramel macadamia cluster sampler, and head straight for a checkout that has no one waiting. This is a God thing, I am sure, because my mind has affixed itself to those macadamia clusters, and if I don't get out of here in a hurry, I wil go back and buy one of them "for DH". Speeding out the door, driving straight home and emptying all the groceries, I go immediately in and make the curry chicken wrap, cold this time, for lunch. I serve it with cantaloupe and a glass of milk. I have 2 Oreos (a FIRST) for dessert, enter my intake and do all my point thingy, and find out I am still doing well for the day. We have artichokes for dinner, mine with no butter, but 2 TBSP mayo, and then a bowl of grapes, strawberries and kiwi. Entered. Didn't go OVER in any area today!!! Now it is Monday, and I have done my cardio and yoga, I am ready to try my Life cereal and go for another day. My mantra today is "Denial is NOT a River in Egypt". Denial is my self destruct buddy, but MY!! She and I REALLY HAVE FUN while it lasts!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAJ111 6/29/2009 5:40PM

    Great story!! I didn't know my best friend Dee Dee Nile had a twin sister. I always have a great time with her as well.....I locked her in the closet after this weekend and she hasn't started to pound on the door to let her out, so as long as she is quiet I am going to keep sneaking past that darn door with hopes of NOT waking her!! With any luck she will stay sleeping at least through the 4th of July.

You have an amazing gift of writing ....I look forward to all of your blogs!

Have a wonderful day...and lets try and not wake up De and Dee Dee Nile sisters ok?


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TORNADO40 6/29/2009 4:20PM

    What a great blog entry. I really enjoyed reading it. emoticon

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Simple Easy Tai Chi......NOT!

Friday, June 26, 2009

You know how easy Tai Chi looks when you see the videos of people in China doing it in parks? And how we always notice that a lot of older people are all doing it, and not falling down? It looks so easy, but I have always questioned how they can all move together without someone standing in front yelling the next move out, like in jazzercise. Well, today I found out a little bit about it. I went to my "other place", DemandFitness.com and looked for a video on Tai Chi. I feel a bit lazy today, so thought what the heck? It's slow enough for me today, and still counts, right? Ok. Video One is 2 minutes, where Tom (the Master Tai Chi guy) talks about the history, a little of the movements and gives some information about what we are in for. I like that one. Then Video Two is where Master Gohring teaches proper breathing techniques while doing Tai Chi. I didn't know those people doing their community Tai Chi dance even WERE breathing. Good. Now I know that we do breathe. Ok. Actually I am pretty good about the "right" kind of breathing, because I have been a meditator for many years. So I plunge right into the next video, where we learn the first basic moves. Oh, they look easy. But we are told to watch while he does the moves a number of times, explaining the correct ways of doing it. I am not the most patient of people on the planet, but I dutifully wait and watch while he is doing these easy peasy moves. Now it is finally time for ME to move, too. HA. This ought to be a piece of cake. After all, it is only three moves, for heaven's sake? So I begin to follow him, and find out this is just too simple. But he keeps telling us what to watch for, and then we repeat our moves. Oh. I'm not supposed to do that with my knee. Uh huh. By the time I correct that, he is on to beginning again. So I start over with him, waiting to not move my knee like that again, and then he says to pivot on my right heel. I didn't see that little move before. So I pivot, move my arms correctly, or kind of correctly, then I am supposed to bring my left foot in and out, landing on my heel. While I am doing this move, I am also supposed to be moving my arms. I nearly tip over. Those of you who know me, know that I do not fall down. I TIP OVER. But this time, I nearly tip over, because the wall is right there for me to bang in to, which I do. But I manage to stay on my feet, and begin again. This is not quite so easy, but I think I am getting the hang of it. On to the next video, even though Master Tom says for me to practise and stay on the first three moves for a long time. Doesn't he know I am Super Woman and can grasp these slow easy moves in one session?? We begin Lesson 2 with the first three moves, which somehow feel more difficult. Then he presents more moves. Shifting our weight and pushing with our arms and stuff like that. Have you ever tried pushing the air? I have pushed bikes, cars, furniture, kids, and ideas, but never air. So I have to get myself psyched up to push the air. While I am pushing air, he continues talking about the next correct way to move. Wait up! My air isn't finished being pushed!! Now how am I supposed to do THAT when I am pushing my air too??!! But I keep trying, imagining myself as smooth as David Carridine when he did the series Kung Fu. I am thinking of trying to find a black Kung Fu uniform so I can do my Tai Chi. I mean, as smooth as I am, I ought to be fashionably dressed for the occassion. Now wait a minute. We are now going to put all the moves together, in sequence. OK. I am READY! This is not so hard after all. Uh, I moved my knee on that last move, and forgot to "shift" my weight over to the right leg, so get all tangled up again in bringing the left leg in and out. The wall and I have another intimate encounter. Bouncing back from the wall, I try to find my place in the sequence, and everything goes to hell. I am mixing up my squats (which don't go in Tai Chi) and my leg stretches with my arms moving like the video shows. I am taking dance steps that are not being shown, I try to get back into moving like Master Tom does, and twist my arms nearly into a knot. While my arms are knotting up, my feet have no idea where they are supposed to be, so they just plant themselves deeply into the floor. I need to stop and start all over again, but I can't catch up to the moves he is on without beginning at the very beginning. This stuff is deceiving! Sure, it looks easy. But those Chinese must have rubber in their joints, because my body just doesn't get it. Finally, the lesson is over, and I gratefully sit down in my chair, ready to write this blog. All of a sudden, I begin to feel pains and aches in muscles I didn't know I have. This couldn't possibly be a result of the Tai Chi!! I mean, I just finished! While I kind of enjoyed doing the lessons, except for the wall banging, I think I need more practise. But not today. Maybe tomorrow. IF I can move at all. I am beginning to suspect a bit of a sadistic nature in Tai Chi. It is supposed to develope flexibility, which is something my body needs, after all of the years of abuse I placed on it. So I am beginning to focus on finding workouts that will teach me balance and flexibility. Maybe I will finally stop tipping over. Hey, I want to take this time to say "Thank YOU!" to those of you who are regular readers, and are encourageing me to write professionally. I never thought of doing that, because I just don't know all those things writers seem to know. I don't have a tweed jacket, either, but that could probably be taken care of at Goodwill. I mean, writers are these pseudo-intellectual people, right? I obviously don't fit that category, either. I don't feel like I "write", I just ramble on over anything that jumps forward in my head. All thoughts which are usually very random, as you can tell. Some of those thoughts are not even worth putting down, and most of the others aren't either. No mental giant here. Right now the most prominent thought is getting something to eat. I have some bananas that should have been thrown away a few days ago or be made into Banana Bread, which I pretty much hate. Hmmmm, there IS some Cherry Chocolate Fudge ice cream in the freezer, though! Maybe I will just settle for a Bora Bora bar and pretend it is the ice cream. Does that make it more fattening??

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DARCEYOH 6/26/2009 5:39PM

    Maybe if you put the bananna in the ice cream, it won't be so fattening. hehe

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Teaching, Cookies and Garbage

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Yesterday was another quilt teaching day. I demonstrated how to quilt our painted leaves masterpieces, and we had a good, productive time. I will upload some of the class photos after I finish this blog so you can see how well we are doing. What a bunch of extremely talented, eager people! This time I brought 1/2 turkey and swiss sandwich with extra romaine lettuce for lunch. I did NOT bring those cookies!! I thought about it, but did not bring those cookies. I want you to keep that straight in your mind. I felt a little bit like a cheap-o in not supplying my students with a sugar intake, but then tried to convince myself that we would all be okay without the stupid cookies. Then Loretta informed me that SHE had brought cookies!! What a relief! I know I would not have been able to concentrate on teaching about threads and techniques if my mind couldn't get off the cookies. Loretta saved me and the class! I didn't tell her, because that would mean I would have had to tell her about the obsession I was going through. I mean, can you imagine having a teacher admit that she can't teach because she is obsessing about cookies?? So I go over to the cookies.........this time they are ALL Oatmeal Raisin or Oatmeal Cranberry (I looked for the macadamia white chocolate ones first!), so I know my cookie intake will be healthier. And besides. I am doing all this energy burn through the teaching process and going from student to student all afternoon, so one little half of a cookie won't hurt me. I eat that, then teach some more. I put the students at their own machines, and go for the other half cookie. This repeats itself until I have had 2 1/2 cookies. I did better, though, because by the time I had that last half cookie, the class was over, and the cookies were now gone. My feet really hurt yesterday during the class. I wore tennis shoes that were supposed to be for running. I saw the right one looked kind of weird, in that it seemed my foot was nearly twice as wide as the left one. Really weird! I even double checked to see that I didn't put on two different kinds of socks, retied the laces, and then just shrugged it off. But man oh man, were my poor little feet hurting and burning! I finally get home, and DH is just sitting on the couch, staring blankly. I don't know what it is about seeing a man just sitting and staring blankly that gets to me, but it does every time. I also see that he and his friend Don had coffee and lunch, because all the empties are sitting all over the kitchen. The grounds are still in the coffee pot, the cups, dishes, utensils, napkins, and soft drink containers are all over the place. Now I know they went to Quizno's for lunch, came back to my clean kitchen, and pigged out, literally. So I unload my car, making sure I am making enough noise that he knows I am lifting those heavy things MYSELF, then begin to make noises as I do HIS dishes and clean up HIS mess. I also go down to the freezer and get out two portions of lasagna, some of that chicken with peppers sausages and fling them into the oven with a bang. I am letting him know that I know he made a mess of things, while I, poor baby, was hard at work, teaching while he and Don were having the time of their lives. Of course, I don't SAY any of this, but you know how to do "silent scorn", I will just bet!! Then while the lasagna is baking, and the dishes are drying, I finally do the Big Sigh, say loudly to the dog "Oh Winsten, Mommy has been on her feet All DAY, and I am really TIRED". Then I plop myself into my recliner and start to watch Hannity. DH is still on the couch. I know I have gotten to him, because he is nervous and quiet. When the first timer goes off for the lasagna, he jumps up and says "Stay still, I can take care of it",which is exactly what I meant for him to do. I pride myself on not being a nag, because I rarely actually SAY what I am p....d about. I just do it with mime work. And he falls for it every time. Don't get me wrong; there are times when I DO speak right up, and then he really tiptoes around!! But today is another day. I am still experiencing sore feet and body aches, so I take a look at those shoes. The stupid soles are disconnected from the rest of the shoes, and rubber has turned back in on the foot pad, causing my feet to be placed over hard lumps and bumps. I look forward to throwing them in the trash with GUSTO! You know, of course, that there are a number of ways to empty trash, don't you? There's the one where we just calmly walk out and put the trash bag in the can and walk away, little or no emotion. Then there's the one where you find out company is coming. That's the one where you shove anything that is looking messy into the trash bag, hurry it out to the can, and only feel a LITTLE uneasy at having thrown some of the stuff away. And let's not forget the "cleaning day trash". That's where we nearly plow our way through the house, emptying every trash container in sight, search the computer desk for trash that might be on it, make sure we have the latest supply of used cat litter in the bag and dump it all into the can with a sense of being Super Woman. There is also the trash where we quickly empty it into the big bin because we have thrown away some stuff our DH thinks is a good thing to keep because "I might be able to find another use for that" or "I'm not sure I finished reading all that", and we don't want him to find out we threw the treasure away. That's where the shoes come in. DH is famous for saving shoes with glue. He really has this problem with throwing stuff out. This includes empty glass jars, bottles, and re-useable food containers. Old worn out T-shirts, pants, shirts, toothbrushes, steel pot scrubbers, egg cartons and shoes are also in the "wait a minute, I might need that some day" category. So I have to be very careful and sly. If he sees that stuff in the trash, he has been known to fish it back out and bring it back in. So how do I get those shoes in the trash without having a major discussion about "waste not, want not" from He Who Must Be Obeyed?! I put them in a plastic bag, go empty the litter box into the same plastic bag, and then empty the bathroom trash container into the bag. I double bag it because you can still see the shoes through the plastic. There. That's better. I calmly stroll through the garage with my bag, he asks what is in it, and I reply "Oh, just bathroom trash and used Kitty litter. Want to check?", to which he gives me THE LOOK, which, coming from a husband means "Are you NUTS???" No, I am not nuts. I am clever. Clever and Sly! Oh, so very, very sly.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOULOUBELLE2 6/26/2009 9:54PM

    You may "Ramble" as you call it...But it's some of the best rambling I've ever read.
Love your description of Tai Chi...I took a class once and dislocated my shoulder, which lead to a complete shoulder replacement before I was done....So BE CAREFUL if you do that again....
Hugs, ME

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LOULOUBELLE2 6/25/2009 7:43PM

    I tried to tell my daughter about your cookie episode and couldn't. I was laughing so hard I was crying. You are a fantastic writer.........Think I'll have to share your column with a couple of quilt teachers I know...Hope that's okay....
So glad I found you, you always manage to make my day. Love that trash trick with your DH....I've done that myself, just didn't think it was funny enough to write about......

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LOVESCAMPING 6/25/2009 3:14PM

    You should definitely write a column professionally. Another Erma Bombeck maybe? The world needs to read you.

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