Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I just finished my workout for the day.
I did all my strength workout this morning, and then thought I could get away with "that being that".
Ms. Smarmy wouldn't accept that, nor would she shut her big fat mouth.
All day long, no matter how hard I tried to shut her up, there she was.........natter, natter, natter.
"You KNOW you didn't do enough today."
"Well, I'm only saying...............you CAN do more, you know".
I said Shut Up!
"Okay. If you want to stay the same lard-ass you have eaten yourself into, fine by me. I'm just trying to help you get healthier".
SHUT YOUR BIG NAGGING MOUTH!
"Fine. I won't bother you any more. I can see why you don't want to haul that blubber around with exercise. Just go ahead and stay the way you are. You will have an earlier than necessary death by FAT, but it's your choice."
You are NEVER going to shut up until I do something, are you?
"No, Chicky-babe. I am not speaking to you."
I slam the video Firm, Fit and Fired Up No. 4, and get on the floor. I haven't done this one before, so it wasn't all smooth and easy.
However, it DID seem rather easy, compared to some of the other ones Nicole challenges me with.
I was surprised how quickly it went, and then, she says "Okay, all finished up for this workout".
What?? The clock didn't move THAT fast, did it?
I mean, this didn't exactly break a glisten. I bet it is just the easiest one, and it won't make much difference in my body!
oh. It is 15 minutes after I finished the TORCHEROUS Firm, Fit & Fired Up No. 4. My abs are in agony.
They feel much tighter, but they are definetly letting me know that they are NOT used to THIS kind of treatment!
I can imagine my rippled abdomen and flat stomach. Yes, indeed. I think I am getting a washboard look just writing this!
Ms. Smarmy is standing over in the corner, smirking her self righteous smirk, arms folded.
So OK Already! You were right. THIS time.
Next time will be different! I and my washboard abs will knock that smirk right off your face!
In the meantime, I am going to add this to my workout points for the day.
I deserve them. See? I was right all along!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Ah, Day Three of my 15 day commitment to working out every day. So far, so good. AND I have tracked ALL my food, too!
What on earth is happening to me?!
SPARK has happened to me................AGAIN. I wasn't doing all the right things every day (like logging my food intake for EVERYTHING).
I got a bad case of LAZINESS, and it lasted most of December.
But now the SPARK BUG has bitten me again, and I am off to the races!
Today was an especially wonderful day.
I don't know if you remember my last attempt at the Cardio Blast 80's Aerobic workout DVD, but I was a mess. I couldn't keep up, and for sure, couldn't do that Pony!
WELL!!!!! GET READY FOR THIS:!!!
I kept up with Nicole all the way, and even DID THE PONY right along with her!!
I didn't even tip over today. THAT in itself is a milestone of recovery!
I don't fall over. I TIP over.
But not today. No tipping, no lagging; just moving right on through that workout like nobody's business!!
My strength and determination are high on the scale for me today. And just think! I only have 12 more days of my current 15 day commitment to go!
I AM AWESOME!!!!!
I AM SPARKPEOPLE!!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations: Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought : You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'
If you can read this in English, thank a soldier.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Today I got on the scale and did my measurements.
I have been avoiding the scale and tape measure with herculean strength and determination.
I was blissfully floating down the river of DENIAL, telling myself I didn't need to get on the scale, didn't have to use the measuring tape, and certainly did not have to do dedicated workouts.
I was wrong.
My weight has ballooned up to 3.5 pounds down from when I first started Spark. My measurements are all up, too.
That's what I get for not working the program as it is layed out for me.
So today I did something different. I reached the point where ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I slid in the Cardio Blast workout, and did 23 minutes. I followed this up with walking .5 miles as a cool down. I stretched my body, and whoa Nelly! My body is REALLY needing these stretches!
Amazingly, I can already feel the difference in my body and the way it moves. Even my attitude is Sparked up.
I love feeling like this, and wonder why I ever slack off. I think it is my old nemesis, Laziness.
That's right. Just plain old LAZINESS.
So, today, I decided to turn around and face that devil that chases me. I spit Laziness right in the eye, and got my body moving.
Sure, I feel mad at myself for allowing all this to happen.....AGAIN. But I also feel PROUD of myself for challenging that old battering ram and do the workout.
I have a steeper hill to climb as a result of my Laziness, but because of past experience, I know I can climb it and get strong and fit.
I have all the information I need from Spark.........they've kindly done the work there I need.
I have wonderful Spark buddies that encourage me, and praise my efforts and successes.
I CAN DO THIS, AND I WILL DO THIS!!!
Come join me. We have nothing to stop us but our Laziness!!! Let's kick butt on Laziness, and get ourselves back on track, shall we?
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