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An ode of English Plural

Saturday, December 11, 2010


We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship....
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAPTAINCOOKIE 12/19/2010 8:01PM

    I make my wife, Yatmama, nuts with words just like those. Thank you for posting them. emoticon

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ROSEWCI 12/12/2010 8:34AM

    emoticon I enjoyed this blog! Thanks for posting!

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BEVPRESLEY 12/12/2010 12:29AM

    What a great way to end my day. It is always nice to have a chuckle before bedtime.

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LUNADRAGON 12/11/2010 3:23PM

    Cute! Thank you for sharing this ode!

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TWOTIMESS 12/11/2010 3:13PM

    emoticon
I needed that *grin*

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NOLAZYBUTT110 12/11/2010 3:10PM

    whate ever words and changes! Happy Holidays became the new greeting instead of Merry Christmas so as not to offend. But I will offend, and say Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas to you all and a Good night or is it a Good Mor' gin? Because that was how language became! From the Aristocrats and the bums! Because all peoples were a variety! And some in betweens were tweens..... is why language changes! To convey things!Susana emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/11/2010 3:18:53 PM

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LONDONANNA 12/11/2010 11:49AM

    Haha I love it! I just wrote an ode too but mine is slightly less insightful!

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Chrismas donations

Friday, December 10, 2010



Read down to the end - Salvation Army is the best group of all. Janette

*Just out of curiosity, I googolized Red Cross CEO Marsha J. Evans. The yearly salary of $651,957 is correct.*

**

*Christmas Donations*

**

*Keep these facts in mind when "donating".
*
*As you open your pockets for yet another natural disaster, keep these facts
in mind: *


*Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of the American Red Cross... Salary for year ending 06/30/03 was $651,957 plus expenses. (That's $74.42 an hour For EVERY hour of EVERY day.) **
*
*Brian Gallagher, President of the United Way receives a $375,000 base salary, plus numerous expense benefits. (That's $42.80 an hour for EVERY Hour of EVERY day.) **
*
*UNICEF CEO receives $1,200,000 per year plus all expenses and a ROLLS ROYCE car where ever he goes and only cents of your dollar goes to the cause.
(That's $1369.86 an hour for EVERY hour of EVERY day.) **
*
*The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. **
*
*No further comment necessary. Please share this with everyone you can.*

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEVPRESLEY 12/10/2010 10:06PM

    The Salvation Army has always been my favorite.

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MT-MOONCHASER 12/10/2010 4:09PM

    I like to help out locally, so I donate goods and money to our local food bank. It is run mostly by volunteer help. I suppose it does have overhead such as rent and utilities that may actually be a fair percentage of the value of what it takes in, since it is not a large operation. If my money is used to keep the doors open, then I am fine with that.

emoticon

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STOPPIGGINGOUT 12/10/2010 2:29PM

    Between my husband and myself personally and our business, we have made considerable donations to Salvation Army this Christmas. We have adopted and purchased possibly the only gifts they will receive for 6 children. It feels great to help, I wish we could do more. However, this is not the only charitable organization I help. I help United Way through monthly donations and have had the privilege to tour several facilities to which they provide funding. Many people including the elderly, battered women, abused children, mentally ill, and underprivileged boys and girls in our community are helped due to the United Way's assistance. They are a wonderful organization and am grateful for the help they provide. Also, I make sure I donate blood as often as allowed (every 8 weeks) to the Red Cross, which without, my daughter could not have received the 5 units of blood she needed 2 years ago. I cannot comment on UNICEF because I have not had any personal experience with that one, but it is unfair to make assumptions and try to sway someone away from donating to certain organizations based on the unjust amount of some of the high ranking execs salaries. I agree some of their inflated salaries make no sense, but their organizations do help the less fortunate. My suggestion to you is before you donate, research what each organization does for the community, not the salaries of its staff, then make your decision where your funds should go. Merry Christmas to all!

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NARNIAROSE2003 12/10/2010 2:13PM

    This year I collected money and gifts for a guy I know who is going through a divorce and has no money for his kids' Christmas. His wife was unfaithful. He's a hard working truck driver and would not qualify for any kind of public assistance, so I wanted to help someone who is really trying and not just standing around with his hand out.

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NOLAZYBUTT110 12/10/2010 1:55PM

    Its one reason why I dont fork over my hard earn cash to such organizations, and prefer to give it to a Chruch I frequently go to! My own Church gives to those in the community and if more chruches were given what is given to these organizations, we would not have welfare or other such dishonest organizations!

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GIANT-STEPS 12/10/2010 1:48PM

  For charities the amount of money that actually helps people compared to the amount that is eaten up in administrative costs is important. The amount the head executive makes is rather trivial compared to other expenses.

The Salvation Army is a fundamentalist church that uses charity work as a means to spread their religious views. Granted the Salvation Army does a lot of great things.

The Salvation Army claims that as a church is not subject to laws act that forbid discriminating against people due to religion or sexual orientation.

Also, as a church they claim exemption from the auditing requirements other charities must adhere to. Basically the Salvation Army does not nor does it need to actually show what percentage of donations go to help people and how much is eaten up in other costs. It is nice the SA commissioner only is paid $13k/year but where else do they spend their money?

Personally I walk past all the bell ringers every holiday season. I prefer to help the downtrodden other ways to avoid the religious and prejudicial slant of the SA.

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GETFIT2LIVE 12/10/2010 1:17PM

    I worked for a nonprofit for many years, and I know that one of the reasons CEOs often make what seem to be high salaries is that is the only way nonprofits can attract and retain people with the skills needed to run these large organizations; they often make far less than they would doing the same thing in a for-profit organization. Some, however, make what seem to be exorbitant salaries when all the benefits are added in. It's a matter of personal conviction where to put your charitable dollars, and it's wise to be educated so you know what the money is going for. I am most interested in what percentage of every dollar goes to the cause and what goes to overhead; a portion HAS to go to overhead, but it should be a small part.

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PERFEKT13PT1 12/10/2010 12:28PM

  Yes but the Salvation Army discriminates against LGBT - so take your pick, eh?

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JEANNEROBERTSON 12/10/2010 12:01PM

  Wonderful and helpful information. Thank you so much!!

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Christmas Wishes, 2010

Thursday, December 09, 2010

For My Democratic Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."



For My Republican Friends:

Here's wishing all of You a
Merry Christmas and a Happy 2011 New Year !!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOTFATCAT 12/12/2010 1:49PM

    Merry Christmas.

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TINKLOVESBEAR 12/11/2010 11:44PM

    Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to You too...from your slightly less than crazy Democrat buddy! You crack me up!! :-) Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!!

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LUNADRAGON 12/10/2010 5:32PM

    Merry Christmas my friend!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAROUSELL46 12/9/2010 4:28PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 12/9/2010 1:24PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHEEKYCHERRY1 12/9/2010 12:17PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Our December Challenge and Costco

Thursday, December 02, 2010

I am a co-leader for Port Angeles and Surrounding Areas team, and it was my turn to come up with a monthly challenge.

I gave this some thought, and came up with CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU & YOUR FAMILY CHALLENGE where we do 75 minutes of CARDIO each week. That breaks down to only 15 cardio minutes five days a week........very do-able.

It started yesterday.

I had a very busy day yesterday. After a full day of running around, I had to close the day with going to Costco and get caught up on supplies. It was late, I was tired, and I was hungry.

Going to Costco at 7 P.M. is actually a good thing.

The crowds are all gone, safe and snuggled in their warm homes, and there are no vendors feeding free food. The people who go to Costco in the late evening are there for BUSINESS.

The BUSINESS being to get what we need and get out before the store closes.

So I rush from my car through the parking lot, grab the shopping cart, and fly on in. I fast walk straight to the chicken broiler, pick out a chicken, and shove off to the veggie cooler area.

Nope. Those cucumbers are too old. Not fresh enough, and will mold before we can eat them all. And those brussel sprouts and green beans........too old.

Out of the refrigerator section I sail. Off to get the dairy products.

Snatch the eggs first. Screech around the corner for the milk.

I grab the two gallons of milk, and haul it in the cart. Next to find butter.

I go to the usual place where butter is kept, and they don't have it where it belongs!

Instead, they have these one pound blocks of organic butter.............isn't butter made from cow's cream and milk????? what makes it ORGANIC for Pete's sake??? I am NOT spending the money on organic blocks of butter.

The other choice is butter chips. CHIPS??? Not in my house.

There MUST be the regular butter somewhere! But they have once again rearranged the store, so this means I have to race up and down the isles and try to find the butter.

I do see the sour cream, and fling that into the cart. But the butter is not to be found.

This does not make me a happy camper, which causes my blood to boil, and makes me walk FASTER, whizzing by all those refrigerated and frozen foods like a she-devil.

I finally find the regular butter, and then I zoom on over to find the chicken and beef base. Yep. Sure enough, that area is rearranged, too, and I have to do another relay race to find it.

Perserverance pays off, and the jars are in the cart.

I need to get some Dawn dishwashing soap. Blast on through the main isle to get back to the right area. I also need laundry soap.

Haul the big containers on to the cart, and scream on to the next item.

There. My list is complete. Now to check out.

I use the self service check out because I am good at it.

I load up the groceries at jet speed, swipe them across the little window, click on pay, and head to the end of the gurney to load up my stuff.

My cart has been filled, emptied for checking out, and filled again to take home.

Dashing to my car, which is at the far end of the parking lot, I open the trunk, and once again start lifting those heavy items.

All put away into the trunk.

Run the cart back to the cart area in front of the store, turn around and run back to the car.

Whew! I just now realize that I am glistening!!! AND my heart rate is up. I am a little breathless, but more amazed that I obviously did the cardio for the day.

Home, and empty the trunk, put away the groceries, and check my pedometer.

Good grief! I am over 5 miles for the day!!!

I will chart 2 miles because that is what I believe was my "fast" distance.

Cardio at Costco anyone?? emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEDDYBABE 12/6/2010 12:15AM

    Ha Ha! should have sent MY list with you! Way to go!!!

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NOTFATCAT 12/3/2010 5:28PM

    I kept yelling to your blog where the butter was because I just saw it in the end cooler yesterday!!! HA!
You make life seem so fun.

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NOLAZYBUTT110 12/2/2010 10:13PM

    Sounds about what I do every time I go shopping at Walmart! They always seem to move things around, as if I will buy more, but I am prepared, I alway bring my list! LOL But its how I get a walk, I seem to spend a lot of time at WAlmart! Just to get my cardio! I think I am up to three trekks around the store. emoticon

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KAROUSELL46 12/2/2010 5:46PM

    Wow, YOU GO GIRL! Way to make the challenge work. I went to our new Wal-Mart this morning and had to look to find things. Don't know the store yet so I got my work out while there. I really hate when the stores move items especially when I'm in a hurry...Karen emoticon emoticon

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KAT7457 12/2/2010 2:35PM

    what a work out. i hate that stores keep moving things around when you know where they are and go there not there somewhere else so instead of running i look for a person who works there and ask them and they say over in that section and i ?? them why over there and not in the place where it was, their answer i get is i dont know. geez keep it where it was in the first place or you find some thing that has 2 prices on it whats up with that ?? but happy you got your things in a record time and got your cardio in. i like to get in and out as fast as i can when shopping i have a list and get and go. have a good day.

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Our December Challenge and Costco

Thursday, December 02, 2010

I am a co-leader for Port Angeles and Surrounding Areas team, and it was my turn to come up with a monthly challenge.

I gave this some thought, and came up with CHRISTMAS GIFT TO YOU & YOUR FAMILY CHALLENGE where we do 75 minutes of CARDIO each week. That breaks down to only 15 cardio minutes five days a week........very do-able.

It started yesterday.

I had a very busy day yesterday. After a full day of running around, I had to close the day with going to Costco and get caught up on supplies. It was late, I was tired, and I was hungry.

Going to Costco at 7 P.M. is actually a good thing.

The crowds are all gone, safe and snuggled in their warm homes, and there are no vendors feeding free food. The people who go to Costco in the late evening are there for BUSINESS.

The BUSINESS being to get what we need and get out before the store closes.

So I rush from my car through the parking lot, grab the shopping cart, and fly on in. I fast walk straight to the chicken broiler, pick out a chicken, and shove off to the veggie cooler area.

Nope. Those cucumbers are too old. Not fresh enough, and will mold before we can eat them all. And those brussel sprouts and green beans........too old.

Out of the refrigerator section I sail. Off to get the dairy products.

Snatch the eggs first. Screech around the corner for the milk.

I grab the two gallons of milk, and haul it in the cart. Next to find butter.

I go to the usual place where butter is kept, and they don't have it where it belongs!

Instead, they have these one pound blocks of organic butter.............isn't butter made from cow's cream and milk????? what makes it ORGANIC for Pete's sake??? I am NOT spending the money on organic blocks of butter.

The other choice is butter chips. CHIPS??? Not in my house.

There MUST be the regular butter somewhere! But they have once again rearranged the store, so this means I have to race up and down the isles and try to find the butter.

I do see the sour cream, and fling that into the cart. But the butter is not to be found.

This does not make me a happy camper, which causes my blood to boil, and makes me walk FASTER, whizzing by all those refrigerated and frozen foods like a she-devil.

I finally find the regular butter, and then I zoom on over to find the chicken and beef base. Yep. Sure enough, that area is rearranged, too, and I have to do another relay race to find it.

Perserverance pays off, and the jars are in the cart.

I need to get some Dawn dishwashing soap. Blast on through the main isle to get back to the right area. I also need laundry soap.

Haul the big containers on to the cart, and scream on to the next item.

There. My list is complete. Now to check out.

I use the self service check out because I am good at it.

I load up the groceries at jet speed, swipe them across the little window, click on pay, and head to the end of the gurney to load up my stuff.

My cart has been filled, emptied for checking out, and filled again to take home.

Dashing to my car, which is at the far end of the parking lot, I open the trunk, and once again start lifting those heavy items.

All put away into the trunk.

Run the cart back to the cart area in front of the store, turn around and run back to the car.

Whew! I just now realize that I am glistening!!! AND my heart rate is up. I am a little breathless, but more amazed that I obviously did the cardio for the day.

Home, and empty the trunk, put away the groceries, and check my pedometer.

Good grief! I am over 5 miles for the day!!!

I will chart 2 miles because that is what I believe was my "fast" distance.

Cardio at Costco anyone?? emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REESEYMAY 12/2/2010 9:03PM

    Woohoo! Super Shopper! emoticon

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