Monday, October 25, 2010
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter
to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after
a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true.
Saint Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite
enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also
gave a homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to
affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we
do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,
"Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Regarding the mine rescue, did you know:
The guy that designed the rescue module was a NASA Engineer?
The Drill was made by Schramm Inc. from Pennsylvania.
The Drill Bits were made by Center Rock, Inc. located in Berlin, Pennsylvania.
The lead driller Jeff Hart and his team are from Denver, Colorado. They are on loan from the US Military in Afghanistan where they are drilling water wells for our Forward Operating Bases. He spent the next 33 days on his feet, operating the drill that finally provided a way out Saturday for 33 trapped miners. "You have to feel through your feet what the drill is doing; it's a vibration you get so that you know what's happening," explained Hart.
Hart was called in from Afghanistan, "simply because he's the best" at drilling larger holes with the T130's wide-diameter drill bits, Stefanic said.
Standing before the levers, pressure meters and gauges on the T130's control panel, Hart and the rest of the team faced many challenges in drilling the shaft. At one point, the drill struck a metal support beam in the poorly mapped mine, shattering its hammers. Fresh equipment had to be flown in from the United States and progress was delayed for days as powerful magnets were lowered to pull out the pieces.
The mine's veins of gold and copper ran through quartzite with a high level of abrasive silica, rock so tough that it took all their expertise to keep the drill's hammers from curving off in unwanted directions. "It was horrible," said Center Rock President Brandon Fisher, exhausted after hardly sleeping during the effort.
Fisher, Stefanic and Hart called it the most difficult hole they had ever drilled, because of the lives at stake.
"If you're drilling for oil and you lose the hole, it's different.. This time there's people down below," Stefanic said. "We ruined some bits, worked through the problems as a team, and broke through," Hart said. "I'm very happy now."
Miners' relatives crowded around Hart on Saturday, hugging and posing for pictures with him as he walked down from the rescue operation into the tent camp where families had anxiously followed his work.
"He's become the hero of the day," said Dayana Olivares, whose friend Carlos Bugueno is one of the miners stuck below.
In a different day and age, Jeff Hart would be the most famous American in our country right now. He would be honored at the White House. Schoolchildren would learn of his skill and heroism. I hope to help.
Let's pass this along. We need everyday heroes!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Okay. I have spent years believing my WW coach when she told me that CELERY was a REVERSE CALORIE FOOD. Celery and peppers.
Yes, that is what she taught the class, over and over.
I was happy with that belief. I liked it whenever I make soup, except of course, chili, I always added celery, therefore, could eat more because of the reverse calories from the celery.
Then I joined SPARK. From there, everything went downhill.
I joined Port Angeles and Surrounding Areas Spark Team. Darcey and Karen were the fearless leaders, and they were supposed to keep me going on the right track.
It began with Darcey getting me into all these exercise challenges. I am a competetive personality, so of course, I had to participate in those challenges.
I learned the difference between WALKING and STROLLING. I was a stroller. Now, because of Darcey, I am a WALKER. To the point of setting a goal of walking miles for myself this year of 700 miles and doing one 5K.
I have walked under 500 for this year, but still have some time to go. I tried doing the 5K. Fell down the hill and put a crack in my hip and pelvis. That kept me off the streets.
I injured myself with helping DH put up the Sundowner awning by clamping my thumb and finger together. Literally clamping them in the cross bar of the awning. I still use a whole litany of cuss words when I see those ads on TV. It is amazing that I still have a TV with the screen in tact.
From Darcey, I have learned how to self destruct through strength training, cardio blasting, and exercise videos on Spark.
I have indeed lost weight and become stronger, but I have not done so in a lady like manner. Nor have I done so with dignity.
I have grunted, groaned, tipped over, gasped for air, twisted my body up like a contortionist, and learned how to hop. I have bitched and hissed. But I have not done DIGNITY.
Enter Karen. Because of HER, I have not been able to quit Spark. She sends me all these encouraging memos and sayings, and finds the most interesting articles for me to read.
I have learned a whole lot about how to build and eat into a healthier way of living. I hate it when she's right, which is usually all the time. That's why I agreed to being a co-leader with her and Darcey. I am a glutton for punishment.
In fact, I haven't found her WRONG about anything yet, although I do look!!
So why am I writing this, you ask. Because of celery.
Karen sends out a post about celery NOT BEING A REVERSE CALORIE FOOD.
I am sure she is wrong, so I read the stupid article. Groan! Once again, Karen is spot on.
There is no such thing as reverse calorie foods. But celery may make me smarter. So now I have to eat celery till it comes out of my ears, right?
I mean, how many ways can YOU cook delicious dinners featuring celery?? Gives one pause, doesn't it.
I wonder if she is next going to find an article that says chocolate has no fat or calories if eaten on your birthday or when you are standing up. Probably.
In the meantime.........................
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe....as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.
Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.
Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.
A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"
"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!"
Bob brings his wife in.
An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist… However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely.. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.
After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!
Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.
He bursts in and shouts to his master:
"Master, Master!.....The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"
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