Thursday, October 21, 2010
He looks all strong and proud, doesn't he!?
Well, he is. MOST of the time.
But not ALWAYS.
This is my DH. He is a wonderful man who is riddled with all kinds of quirks that can annoy the heck out of me, and do so frequently.
Today I read a Spark blog from a very busy lady who does an amazing job at helping others, and how her husband had a "tantrum" about needing her time.
It got me thinking about just how selfish we can get while meaning to do "good".
It feels wonderful to help others. Charity work is good for the soul. It makes us feel all clean and "good".
I make quilts for kids with cancer as my main mission. I can get all caught up in them, making them my life's priority.
I frantically design, cut and sew the quilts, then photograph them, then rush down to the post office to mail them off.
Then I frantically dash home to repeat the same process.
I am a woman on a MISSION!!!!
Housework doesn't get done, no gardening, no time to chat with friends. No time to make "real" dinners........just throw any old thing on, or mostly, leave meal making up to DH.
Usually during this madness, meals are eaten too late to be enjoyed. I stare at the TV until bedtime, not talking or engaging in what is going on around me.
These hours run in to days, and the days run into weeks if I am not careful. I hibernate in my house, doing the "good" work.
I get to quilt club once a week and talk about nothing other than quilting.
I do not contact my friends in any personal way; only by computer. And then the contact is brief and hurried.
I literally lose myself in all of my wonderful doing "good" for others. I proudly spout that "Most people live their entire lives not knowing their purpose. I'm blessed, because I KNOW I AM DOING GOD'S WORK".
But you know what??? A LOT of work I do for others really is feeding my own ego.
Yep. I get in to that "Look at all I do for others; aren't I wonderful?" thinking that, but not saying it. I leave the saying up to others and then pretend to be humble, when in actuality, many times it is EGO.
I need to ask myself the questions:
"What am I doing for my MARRIAGE?"
"What am I doing for my FAMILY?"
"Am I as kind and attentive to my family as I am to others?"
"Do I give equal time to my husband (and family) as I give to others?"
"Am I as KIND to my husband as I am to others?"
"Do I smile and chat with my husband as I do with others?"
"Do I dress my appearance as nice for my husband as I do for others?"
"Do I seek out kindness I can bestow on my husband as I do for others?"
When we got married, we vowed to place each other and our marriage above all others. AM I DOING THAT??
If I am being honest, most of the time, the answer is NO.
I take my husband way too much for granted. I do not give him the time nor the help he deserves.
Husbands are funny creatures. Mine comes across all strong and "okay" with what I am doing. He even praises me at times for all I do for others. He dutifully takes photographs of my "good work", and many times has taken the quilts down to the post office for me while I continue doing "good" at home........FOR OTHERS.
He quietly puts meals on the table, and doesn't complain when the laundry isn't done.
In fact, he gets very QUIET most of the time.
Have you ever noticed that when you feel neglected, you get QUIET?
It is time to take notice of DH, too.
I took a good look at myself years ago and saw that I needed to get HONEST WITH MYSELF ABOUT MY CHARITY WORK.
I hated what I saw.
A whole bunch of my charity work was based on EGO. Based on lifting my OWN self esteem. Based on IMAGE.
It is good to do for others, but remember that old saying "CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME"???
I am returning to my old schedule, beginning TODAY, of having Sunday be MARRIED DAY.
I will plan nothing with anyone other than my husband, not answer the phone for that day, and focus entirely on our marriage and his needs and pleasure.
I will re-awaken the romance in our marriage by keeping myself up as much for him as I do for others.
I will smile more, and verbally let him know how much I appreciate and love him.
I will plan on fun things for US to do, or help with a project WE need to get completed.
Inside those strong men we married are still little boys who need us.
A very wise man once told me that "The ONLY job men really have is to please their women. And the ONLY job women have is to let them know they are doing it!"
I will let my husband know he pleases me.
I married this guy because I lOVED HIM. It is time to PROVE IT.
No one else's needs are as important as my husbands. I must remember that, and live up to it.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Have you ever thought about what really caused Rome to fall??
"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public
debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered
and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed
lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of
living on public assistance."
- Cicero, 55 BC
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
There lived a man who was very unhappy because he was deeply in love with a girl who didn't know he was alive. In desperation, he visited a coven of witches who lived nearby and presented his case before them.
Touched by his tale of woe, and impressed with the young man's appearance, manner, and bearing, they decided to help him. They worked their magic and eventually presented the young man with several small objects that looked like capsules. "Bury these under the window of your beloved under a full moon and she will love you," they instructed.
Doubtful, the young man resolved nevertheless to do as the witches instructed. On the very next full moon, he stealthily made his way over to his beloved's house and carefully buried the capsules in the rich loam beneath her window. Nothing happened right away, but, trusting the wisdom of the old ladies, he went home to see what the next day would bring.
The next morning, he walked hopefully over to the girl's house and rang her doorbell. She opened the door, saw it was him, and grabbed him. She hugged him, kissed him, and invited him in for lunch. Their courtship was short but passionate, and within a month they were happily married.
Late one night after they had been married, the young man visited the coven again. "I just want to thank you ladies for your help. My life is everything I could have desired."
"No problem, dearie," said one of the old ladies. "After all, nothing says lovin' like something from the coven, and pills buried says it best."
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
This happened about a month ago just outside of Owensboro Kentucky, a small town on the banks of the Ohio River , and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's indeed real.
An out-of-state traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining s o hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.
Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped. Wanting a ride very badly, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door. Only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine to be heard over the rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and beg for his life. He was certain the ghost car would go off the road and into the river, and he would surely drown.
But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again. Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, frightened nearly to death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran through the storm to the nearby town.
Wet and in shock, he went into a lighted tavern and with voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, and then, shaken, he told everybody about his supernatural experience.
A silence came over those listening and everybody got goose bumps. They realized the guy was sober and was telling the truth. And the sounds of the storm continued outside.
About half an hour later, two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, "Look Billy, there's that idiot who rode in our car while we was pushin' it in the rain."
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Okay. so I am a quilter. But most of you already know that.
I also have a house I like to keep at least SEMI clean.
And that means dragging out the vacuum cleaner.
I have an internal vacuum system in my house, but also have a Golden Retriever, Winsten. That means the internal vacuum system gets all clogged up with dog hair.
So I drag out the heavy old regular vacuum, and begin.
I really do like the look of a freshly vacuumed house. It always seems to be nice and fresh, ya know?
I mean I like the LOOK of a freshly vacuumed house. I DO NOT LIKE to vacuum.
That's because there is always something that doesn't want to be vacuumed, and wants to live where it is FOREVER.
Like a thread on the carpet.
Now I don't know about you, but threads on the carpet are always difficult for me. Or rather, difficult for my vacuum cleaner.
It picks and chooses which thread it will pick up.
And in a quilt room, there are always lots of threads to choose from.
So I bravely enter the quilt room, vacuum cleaner roaring away, and attack the threads on the floor.
Oh, my, isn't the floor beginning to look nice!
My trusty vacuum cleaner is just going after those threads like a whirling durvish. My room is looking SO clean!!!
Except for that red thread over there.
I run the vacuum over it, knowing it will be gone.
Wrong. There it lies, just as though nothing happened at all.
Go over it again with the vacuum!
It is still there, smirking up at me and the vacuum cleaner.
Okay. Enough. Go over it from a different angle, and go over it several times.
It is there, mocking me and my engineered vacuum cleaner that is advertised to being able to suck up a bowling ball.
Grrrrr. Set the vacuum cleaner to its lowest setting, and run over that red puppy string a BUNCH of times!
Still, the obstinate red thread is there, clinging to the carpet with herculean strength.
I aim at it from a yet different direction, then try to go in at it from a circular direction.
I'm sweating like mad, the vacuum cleaner is roaring and getting hot, and the thread lies there, all innocent looking.
But I know better. That thread is NOT innocent at all. It is an evil menace. It is lurking there, waiting to trip me up or something. All three inches of it.
It is just THERE!
I try another couple of dozen times to run it down, but to no avail.
The thread is still there.
I'm exhausted, threatening to throw the vacuum out the window, and then I just give up.
I angrily shut off the useless vacuum cleaner, wrap the cord around it in a death grip, and shove it in the closet.
I slam the door to the quilt room, where that damned red thread is still lying on the floor, as if it has a right to be there.
I am NOT going in that room. I will IGNORE that stupid hated thread.
I will go find a cookie. That will fix everything!
I am forced to eat a cookie.
The thread makes me eat the cookie.
It is not my fault. I have been taken over by the red thread demon.
What's that you say?? "Why don't I just PICK UP the thread????"
If you are asking that question, then obviously, you must be a MAN!
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