Tuesday, March 01, 2011
I never thought I would be dealing with this again in my life. My DH was laid off 2 weeks ago, and we are now living without health insurance, and on my income. I am a waitress and my wages don't even begin to cover our monthly bills. The stress level in my home is unbearable, and I just want to sit on my couch and forget everything. I have my DD's who are both in college, my oldest is pretty much on her own, and pays her own bills etc, the other however has no job, and is not doing much to find one either. I am not only scared for my children, but for my DH and myself. I have too many issues to not have any health insurance, and don't know what I am going to do once the time comes to refill my prescriptions.
GGGRRRRRR I believe that the lord will provide, and that he will watch over us, but some days that is hard remember.
Some days I feel like the whole world is falling down around me. The state of Wisconsin is going through some rough decisions, and that weighs on my mind as well.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
OK so we have told the father that we will not be attending. So they go to the Dells for the weekend, and DH, DS and I go to DS basketball tournament. We as parents need to help run the concession stand. So it ends up to be a very long day.
To add to the drama that we deal with, the Father considers my DH his "best friend".
I can't do this now, my DD's are driving me crazy they are all giggly and silly and on the annoying side. And the DH is yelling at me from the bedroom for me to come in there...
I will be back soon to write some more...
Does anyone want a couple of teenagers???????
Friday, January 23, 2009
I have to share some funny stories about my cats first I am sitting here trying to type and catch up on my posts right.... Squirt climbs up onto my lap, now I use a laptop and I am sitting on the couch with my computer on my lap. So she climbs up here and makes herself all comfy... have you ever tried to type with a cat sitting on one arm, feet on the other hand, and watchin' the coursor like it is a mouse... no pun intended.... ha ah ha she actully started going after it with her paws.
2) I went downstairs last night to tell my DS to go to bed. When I came around the corner to come up the stairs, I hear this little "meow". I look around behind me no cat, I look around the corner, no cat... hmmmmmm wonder where she is. So I start my ascent up the stairs again, and "meow" what the heck, where the heck is she trying to talk to me from. I look up and there is Baily in my ceiling. I have a drop ceiling in the basement. Oh My Lord, what the heck is she doing up there. I could not coax her out of there for anything. She was out this morning though when it was time to eat.
3) I have one more to share, I promise it is the last one. The other night DD#1 and I were sitting on the couch watching the taping of American Idol. All of a sudden DD says, mom I think she has a mouse or something. Well, Bailey takes off down the basement, so I go to the door and yep, she has a mouse alright, and of course she has to play with it... and it is still alive, so she lets it go and then catches it again, bats it around a little tosses it up in the air. So I go downstairs, I am not sure why, cause I am deathly afraid of mice, but there I am going down the steps, well at first Bailey takes the mouse in her mouth and gets that, don't you dare try to take this away from me look. And then she lets it go, and yep it runs right towards me, and yep I run up the stairs screaming... mind you it is probably 11:30pm, everyone else is sleeping, well not anymore, oops. So DD is laughing her butt off at me and I am freaking out about this mouse, telling Bailey to eat the thing already. So then I tell DD to come down and help me catch it. Now I don't know what I thought I was going to do, cause I can not in any way shape or form get anywhere near this little mouse. But I go back down the stairs to find Bailey kind of laying over the top of the bench on my Total home gym. And I can hear this mouse squeaking. OMG the mouse has found itself a little cubby to hide in and Bailey can't get her out. So I go into the storage room to try to find something to catch this mouse in. Too late, somehow Bailey gets the mouse out of the cubby and is again playing with it. Oh and apparently my DD received my "love" for mice too cause she was behind me like I was the sheild between her and the mouse. Well now Squirt has figured out that there is something interesting going on and comes downstairs to investigate. Well of course, Bailey is not real happy about this, and starts growling at Squirt. So I pick Squirt up and take her upstairs, and tell her to stay up here, well she listens about as well as my kids, so of course she heads back down the stairs, only to be growled at again. So I figure the cats can fight over that mouse if they want, I am going back upstairs. Well as I am sititng on the couch, up comes Squirt, with the mouse, and she decides to play with it here in the living room, HUH?? I think not!!! Mouse is still alive, and yep playing with it in my living room, so I chase her downstairs, go play with that darn thing away from me!!! Well they took turns with this mouse, and finally I went to bed and told them to kill the darn thing before I get up in the morning.
Still not sure if the mouse is alive, dead, laying somewhere in my basement, or if they ate it.
Anybody want to come to my house for a mouse hunt???
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
One of my Dr's actually told me that I was killing myself. So something had to change. I wasn't getting enough sleep, and I felt horrible, not to mention those mornings that I could not even remember how I got to work when I pulled into the parking lot. SCARRY I do want to clarify that those hours were my choice, I needed to be home to meet my kids after school, so I went in early in the morning to be able to leave early in the afternoon.
Anyway, I was looking for a way to keep a job, but without the crazy hours and long drive etc. The friends father was having issues with his sister working for him, and long story made short, asked me if I wanted to come work for him filling his sisters position. Which was basically an office manager. After some discussion with my DH we decided to give it a try, he was going to pay me more than I was making at my current job, so a good move right? Wrong, I was there one day, and he hired his other sister back and she came in and took over everything. I was left to answer the phones, and surf the web for 8 hours. Not my idea of a job. The father is very secretive also, and wants what happens in the office to stay in the office. Does not want his wife to know anything that is going on etc. Now you remember that his wife is a friend of mine, well I told my DH that I would not offer any information, but if she directly asked me a question, I was not going to lie. She would ask me how it was going in the office, and I would tell her that it was boreing and I didn't like it. And I kept true to my word, I did not ever talk to her about what went on in the office, but I did let her know that I was bored out of my mind. One day, the father called me into his office and accused me of talking to his wife, and telling her things. Well, I asked him exactly what he was talking about that I had supposedly said. He changed the subject, and did not want to talk about it further. So that was my first day of finding a new job. It didn't take me long to find a new position, and I again ended up 45 minutes away with crappy hours. Once again working myself into a person that I did not like, always tired, a headache every day, etc.
My DD went with the friend and family to the Mall of America one weekend, and did some shopping. The following week, my DD was sitting outside the school with a group of friends. The friend happened to be walking by and someone from the group made a comment about the friends weight. Well all he&& broke loose. The friend went home and told her parents that it was my DD that made the comment. I then received a call from the mother, and was told that the friend wanted all of the "stuff" back that they had purchased for my DD on the trip to the Mall. I was also told that they purchased this and that for my DD and that it was supposed to be paid back by us, and we never had. Now I am really steaming... They want to get together (the parents) and resolve this, well my DH would not let me go, cause he knows that I will speak my mind, so he went and talked to them. I can remember then being so angry with my DH because from what he told me was said in this "meeting" gave me the impression that he did not defend my DD at all and was taking their side. But that it was all taken care of, and my DD had to return the items that were purchased for her. This was a major blow out, but there were many other little things all the time through high school. And the friends parents were always in the middle and always brought my DH and I into the mess. Now there is a time when parents should be involved, and other times when the kids need to work things out on their own, but it was never like that with this family. They were always involved.
Well since my DH was making good money I decided to leave my job, and try to make a go of my Tupperware business as my main job and income. It went OK for awhile, and I did pretty well. My DH however was stressing to me that I needed to find a job, cause his income was not going to be enough for this and that. Which was true in a way, his pay covered all of our bills no problem, but left nothing for extra stuff, and we all know that there is lots of extra stuff with 3 children right.
My DH was traveling, and I was living like a single parent of 3 children, all the responsibility was mine, getting kids to and from practice, and ball games. All the bumps, bruises, broken limbs, all my responsibility. This is still the drill around here, DH will be gone for weeks at a time, they are usually home for the weekends, and normally leave on Monday morning, but it still sucks, cause there are things that go on during the week that it would be nice for him to be home for.
Since TW did not work the way I would have liked I was again faced with finding a new job. I was offered one by an aquaintance, they owned their own business and needed an office manager/secretary/ do whatever I need kind of person. They however could not afford to keep the office open, and pay me, so I was "let go". A dissapointment for not only me but for my friend too. They really wanted to make it work. So, I struggled with what to do about a job, my DH felt that I needed something, and I couldn't have a job that wasn't flexable. I needed to be available to my kids if they needed something, since my DH was always traveling. The office position was perfect for this because having 3 children of her own, she totally understood if something came up mid day causing me to leave.
We are still doing things with the Friends parents, dinner, trips here and there, etc. During all of this, I have been talking about the fact that the DH wants me to get a job, and the circumstances that make it difficult to find that job. Well the Friends mother is also running one of the businessses they own, an embroidery shop. And she offers me a position. Part time, and flexible. I started in Feb of 2008. And it was nice, I worked 3 days a week, and flexible too.
Now our DD's graduated this past spring, and we went through the graduations and parties together. The friends parents purchased tables and chairs that we used for our DD's party. They shared decorations with us, and other necessities that were needed for the party.
In November 2008, the Friend was having trouble living in the dorms, and the parents decided to rent an apartment for her. She had another friend that she met at school who wanted to live there, and being that it had 3 bedrooms the Friend asked my DD if she wanted to move in too. The friends father pays the entire remaining rent, (they took over the lease from 3 girls that were moving out) and says he will pay all the bills too. My DH and I want our DD to start learning about responsibility, and having bills etc, so my DH insists that my DD have a bill to pay. So she is given the TVcable/internet bill to take care of.
My DH and I think this is a great opportunity for our DD, but are worried about how things will work out, knowing how the Friend is, and how involved the parents need to be. Since the Friend's father paid all the rent, will the Friend use this as leverage to get what she wants? We are concerned, but hope that everything will work out fine. The Friend's father makes this comment to my DH one day. This apartment better not turn into a party house, or I am moving the Friend out. Of course my first reaction is "WHAT?" Why is this being directed at my daughter. This girl that you have practically helped raise, and that you say is just like one of your own children. Why do you even think something like that will happen?? So again I am mad but have to bite my tounge, cause I can't afford to get my DH fired. But I am totally flabbergasted...
After the girls move in, the Friends mother goes out, and buys groceries for the apartment, not just for her DD, but for all the girls in the apartment. Along with cleaning supplies, etc. They get moved in and all is good, they are getting along fine, and everyone is happy. Well of course it can't stay that way forever right??? My DD comes to me one day and is complaining that she and the Friend are unhappy because the other roommate is eating all the food, and not contributing any. She did not buy any food at all for the first 2 months. So I tell my DD that they need to sit down, all three of them and voice their concerns and work things out. Do they do this, of course not because that would be too awkward. Whatever. So I tell my DD that if she is not going to try and work things out that I don't want to hear any more complaints about it.
One day at work, the Friends mother and I are chatting and she brings up the issue with the food, and I tell her what I have told my DD, and that I didn't want to hear any more about it if they chose not to. Well apparently there are also issues with cleaning the kitchen and dishes, etc. The friend is upset because no one will clean up the dishes, and everyone should take their turn or whatever. Well at this point I have had enough, these are all young adults and it is time for them to start dealing with things. So I tell the Friend's Mother that I am going to make a trip to the apartment myself. Knowing that all three girls would be there. And that I was going to sit them all down and get the conversation started. I was not going to be part of the discussion, but only start it. I would be available if they needed a mediator, but didn't figure it would come to that. And after this, if they chose to bring everything to the table or not, I did not want to hear another word about it from any of them. I have enough things to worry about, and don't need to add who in the appartment isn't doing the dishes and taking out the trash. So I get to the appt, and all the girls are there, and they have a couple of friends over. I tell the friends that they need to vacate, and that I will meet them in my DD's room in a minute. I know both the girls because they went to school with my DD and were friends. So they leave the room, and I tell them that I know that their are some issues, and now is the time to get them out in the open and work them out. If they need me I will be in my DD's room. I looked at my DD and said, "you know what I am talking about" and I look at the Friend and tell her that "she knows what I am talking about too, because I talked to her mom this afternoon". I leave the room and go hang out with the other two girls. A few minutes pass and my DD comes in and says they are done. I figure they didn't talk about everything because it did not take very long at all. But like I said I created the opportunity, what they did with it was their business.
Christmas break comes along, and all but my DD are going "home" for the break. So the Friends mom feels the need to tell me, again at work one day, that the apartment better be kept clean, blah blah blah. Again directed at my DD. OK I let this go and just mention to my DD to make sure that anything in the fridge that will go bad that she is not going to eat needs to go into the trash so that it doesn't get nasty in the apartment.
During their break, cause they have like a month off for Christmas break, my DD is back and forth from the apartment to home. The Friend also spends some time at the apartment during this time. I am at work one day, and I get a phone call from the Friends Mother. She tells me that she is going to have it out with my DD because she was in the apartment the day before and there was cheese sauce all hard and crusted on the stove and it stank something terrible in the apartment. And that it was a total mess. I didn't really say anything, but when I got done on the phone with her, I dial up my DD. And I ask what the heck this was all about. DD tells me that they did make cheese salsa dip, her and a friend of the Friend, my DD helped make it but did not eat any. She said that the Friend sent my DD a text saying that she did all the dishes up, which to my DD meant she rinsed everything, and got it all ready to put into the dishwasher. And could my DD put them into the dishwasher and wash them. Yep that was fine DD would take care of it. I asked if there was cheese sauce on the stove, and DD didn't know, she didn't pay attention. OK, so I tell her that she should have turned around and checked that out, and made sure that everything was cleaned up. She agreed, and that was that. Well after I get off the phone, I start thinking about this conversation I have just had. I am now starting to get angry, and am actually starting to shake I am so angry. My goodness, is this the petty kind of thing that you have time to worry about?? They are 18 and 19 years old, why are you so worried about their apartment????? I had to call my BF and vent to her, cause I am sure there was smoke coming out of my ears I was so angry. I then called my DH who was out of town, and wanted to talk to him about it. Half way into my ranting, I get the idea that he really is not in a place he can talk to me, so I tell him to call me when he can talk. I am still angry at this point, but not as bad as I was at first, I think the shaking hands have stopped shaking.
When the DH calls me back I tell him the story, and he tells me to call the Mom back, and just tell her that the girls are 18 and 19 years old, and that we are trying to teach our daughter responsibility, and we are not going to be involved in little things like this, it is for the girls to work out. I decided not to call her back, because I am sure it would not have ended well, so I leave it as it is. And I tell my DD that I do want to know if the Friend's mother tries to contact her at all. Because I don't want the mother chewing my DD a new butt over this, I don't feel it is her place to be involved. My DH tells me that he is going to talk to the Friends Father, and just tell him that we do not want to be involved in these little things, and that his wife is not to call my DD either. Still not sure if that conversation ever took place.
Now, in Jan every year, the Friends Father takes all his employees to WI Dells for the yearly Christmas Party. We go there for a weekend, and they take care of all the expenses. Room, food, drinks, everything. We have always gone as a family, but this year my DS has a basketball tournament that weekend, and he wants to play ball instead of going to the Dells. So my DH tells the Father that we will not be attending. The Father is disappointed, because of the position that my DH holds, and that the other employees look up to him and expect him to be there. My DH tells the father that if it were the other way around and it was one of his kids, he would do the same thing, and the Father agrees. Says he will miss us there, but that he understands, and that we are always there for them for other things.
O have to go to bed now. To be continued....................
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I have decided to write this blog, and I am hoping that puting it down on "paper" so to speak will help me deal with it a little better.
I will probably have to do this in sections, as I think it will take to long to post all at once.
I am going to start at the begining...
I met these people through my DD#1, when she was in 1st grade. They have a DD (I'm going to refer to as the friend) the same age as mine. The girls became friends and so did the parents. The friend was overweight, and had been all of her life, despite all of the people that did not "like" the friend my DD remained friends with her. However the friend was also a very needy little girl, and if all attention was not on her, she was not happy. Now to add to this, they are fairly wealthy. They took my DD in and treated her like their own. Gave her money and took her on trips with them. They owned a spot in a camp ground, and would take the girls there weekend after weekend. They would travel to the Mall of America and give my DD spending money. The father owned his own business, and eventually asked my DH to come and work for him. He is in the office supplies, and copier, office equipment business, and he sent my DH out on the road to sell. This went very well, and because my DH was now working with the Father, we all became even better friends. We would spend a weekend or two at the camp ground with them during the summer. Eventually the business grew and was successful, however, what we did not know, is that the Father was not a very good business man. He was an excellent salesman, however. Soon the business started to fail, and since my DH and I had 3 children to care for, we became worried that there would not be any job soon, so my DH decided to explore a different avenue. He went to school to sell insurance, and got a job with a company that a friend worked at. He too was going to lose his job with the Fathers company. For months we struggled, times were tough, I worked full time, and my DH was out there selling insurance. His "work" hours were in the evening, because he went into peoples homes to sell them insurance policies. The potential to make lots of money, but it took a while to build that kind of clientel. So we struggled through many months, some weeks without any income from the DH if sales did not go well. In the mean time, the Father started another company, and it started doing very well, he asked my DH to come back and work for him. When he was hired, he asked that he not have to travel, and there were some other stipulations. All of which were agreed upon at the time of hire. The company grew, and grew very quickly. Eventually their sales became state wide, and into Canada. So my DH was asked to travel to help with sales. He would receive more pay because he had to travel, and my DH made enough money that I didn't need to work if I didn't want to. He became the Fathers right hand man.
Now to add more to this story. We all became good friends. We celebrated 40th birthdays, Christmas's, New Years. The parents of the Friend even took my DD to Cancun with them when she was a sophmore in high school. And then my whole family DH, myself, and 3 kids another year. Paid for everything, airfair, food and drinks, everything. They bought my stand up deep freezer as a house warming gift. The Father would take us out to diner and pay for everything. We would spend super bowls together, usually at their home with all the snack food and drinks that you can imagine. Yep they had money and they liked to flaunt it and show everyone they had it. For me it felt like they just wanted to show us that they had the money. My DH said that they just wanted to give to us because they liked us and loved the fact that my DH traveled with the father and helped grow the business. The father would say things to me like, your DH is my best friend and he is very important to me, and I like to give him things to show my appreciation. And he told me more than once how great he felt that my DH was working for him. I believed him and so did my DH. I still had doubts, but believed for my DH.
When my DD and the Friend entered high school, things changed a little, the girls drifted towards different intersts, and different groups of friends. DD's friends did not all care for the Friend, and the Friend's pals did not always care for my DD. As well as the Friend and DD not caring for each others friends always either. Yet, they remained friends, not as close as before, but they were still close. They both were OK with the fact that they each had different friends, and when they spent time with those friends, they would not spend time with each other. The Mom and I always said that we knew the girls would probably drift apart as they grew older but that they would always be best friends, which was the case!!!
Now we live in WI and in our little tiny town every February, we celebrate the Westby Ski Jump. Jumpers come from all around the world, yes the world to jump here. Jumpers from Norway, Germany, Switzerland, just to name a few. The families around the community take the jumpers into their homes as host families for a week. The Friends family being one of the host families. They would have my DD over while the skiers were there, for many nights of that particular week. And this is an example of how the girls' friendship was. Because even though they didn't spend a lot of time together like when they were in grade school, they always thought of her when there was something special going on.
Now I worked in another town, full time, and it took my 45 min to get to work, on a good day, no snow, rain, slow people, tractors, amish buggies...etc. I was on a shift that started at 6:30 in the am. So if you do the math, yes I was up at around 4am just to get to work on time. Now this is when my medical problems started.
I will be back, have to go for now... more later
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