Friday, June 01, 2012
We get state of the union and state of the state addresses once a year. I felt it was time for some self-assessment. Where am I? How is it going?
On the one hand, I could say that things stink. I started March at about 310 pounds and was ready to knock out 10 pounds and a tad more to finally be under 300 by April. It's now June.
March and April were rough. Part of it I can explain; part I can't. But the plan has always been to just keep moving forward. I recovered some in May - got down to just under 308. And now I'm back to 317 to start this month. Part of that is the Memorial Day weekend. I find it frustrating that in a week where I eat about 1800 caloires per day I can lose well. And in a week where I eat 2500 calories per day, I gain a HUGE amount. I realize that adding in 700 calories extra per day is 4900 in a week. But that shouldn't make me gain 8 pounds. (Should it?)
It's true - a couple of weeks ago, I gained 8 pounds in one week. I lost them the next week. But since then, I've gained 5 back. All while eating around 2000 calories and working out at least 5 days per week.
I had 850 fitness minutes in May and at least 75% of the days were well within my calorie budget - probably more - and the net result for May is a gain of a pound and a half. (Okay, honesty time...I actually checked the days and I was within my calorie goals for 60% of the days...but still! A 300 pound woman who is that active should be losing in this situation. Of course...I did lose, I just put it back on.)
I don't get it, but it is what it is. I can't let it get me down. There are only two choices - give up or keep going. Obviously...I choose to keep going.
So that is the general plan - just keep going. One foot in front of the other. One meal/snack after another. I will shoot for a much higher number of days within my calorie goals - 60% really isn't great. That could certainly have something to do with it.
And I'm going to make every effort to NOT take a week off from exercise just because hormone week arrives. It really threw me for a loop last month - I felt terrible for the entire week. This month, I'm going to be proactive about it, and try to do some other form of exercise that week.
I'd like to try a spinning class someday, but am not sure if there is a weight limit.
This month is the challenge of my daughter's birthday. I'm not sure why that is such a challenge. Actually, strike that, I know EXACTLY why. It's the stress. The stress of making sure things go well for her to have a great day is what sends me into the "I don't have time to cook, I'll just eat whatever" mode. Last year on Memorial Day, I re-committed to taking care of myself after gaining back about 35 pounds. I did lose those pounds (and a few more) - losing 44 pounds since last Memorial Day. But I remember having a hard time around my daughter's birthday at the end of June. So that is something for me to combat, too.
I'm shooting for 1000 fitness minutes this month. If I don't take hormone week off, I should get there.
I would like if I didn't say that I really, really (REALLY!) want to be under 300 as soon as possible. Ideally by my 46th birthday in mid July. Not sure if I can make it, but I can certainly try.
I refuse to give up what I want most for what I want right now...or simply because I'm lazy, or some unhealthy food is placed in front of me.
So it seems I've come up with some goals for June:
Face the stress of "birthday week" without eating unhealthfully
Face "hormone week" head on and don't skip exercising that week
No more than 4 days over my calorie limit (one per week)
1000 fitness minutes
So the "state of me" is that I'm okay. I'm blessed. Lucky. Loved. Taking care of myself. Succeeding. Smiling. Proud. Motivated. Ready to kick June's butt.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
If you've read other blogs, you may have picked up on the fact that I LOVE my water exercise classes, and I'm not fond of other exercise. I expect this will change as I lose more weight, but at just over 300 pounds, land-based exercise still does a number on my knees.
This means that I feel out-of-luck on days when there are no classes scheduled. There are only classes that I can attend on 5 days per week, and I really don't like the new Saturday morning instructor. And I usually need the sleep, so Saturday morning falls by the wayside, and 4 days per week has been common (or less). And even if I do make Saturday, I hardly ever exercise on Friday. Sometimes I'll do my own water workout on Sunday afternoon, but maybe once on Friday in the past 2 years.
Until yesterday! The AC is out at the house, so my visits to the pool this week have kept me cooler. And I decided to go and do my own workout Friday evening. It was fabulous! It was probably better than some of the classes during the week. I was really proud of myself.
I proceeded to sleep in today, but the pool is open until 5:45 today and tomorrow, so my goal is to get there and work out in the water again, both days. Lots of house chores to do today, but if I can make some progress by 4:30, I'm going to treat myself to some pool tiime. I only need 25 minutes to hit 500 fitness minutes for March. And then I want to increase that for April, so a Sunday pool visit is on the agenda as well.
I'm still up about 3 pounds from March 1st. Not please about that, but all I can control is what I do today. One meal and one bit of activity at a time.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Have to start thinking about April goals now. Since March didn't go so well.
I may end up with only a small gain for March, which is good, since I was up almost 10 pounds at one point.
I was shooting for 1000 fitness minutes in March, and am now shooting for half that - I need about 100 minutes today and tomorrow to make that happen. Tomorrow's 1-hour water aerobics class will get most of that; just need to get a walk or something in today.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I love cheese. Love, love, love.
I really love blue cheese. Lately I've been seeing one called "smoked blue cheese." That has to be good. And I read something earlier this week that the saturated fat in cheese is better than other saturated fat. (Rationalization!)
But the good blue cheese (or is it bleu cheese?) is almost always pretty pricey. I keep thinking I'll buy some when it goes on sale.
Today, there it was - smoked blue cheese wedge for 2.99.
I thought about it.
I picked it up and checked the label. 5.5 ounces. 100 calories per ounce. So 550 calories for the entire wedge.
I know myself. It's really likely that I would eat the entire wedge in one day. And today, I was already over 1400 calories, before dinner. So even if I ate half, that was really going to minimize what I could have for dinner.
So I put it back.
Maybe later in the week, when I've got more calories to play with. Or maybe not.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
I made it through yesterday with none of the foods I promised myself that I wouldn't eat. Yay, me!
I'm continuing that today. It feels good to feel in control.
Not only did I skip the dreaded cheez-its and ice cream yesterday, I also didn't have a single M&M or fun-sized candy bar (also in my house - wish they weren't, but the fact is that I am the one who controls what goes in my mouth).
What did happen yesterday was me seeing how easy it is to have calories sneak in. I forgot about the kidney beans I ate when preparing a salad for my daughter. Close to 70 calories. Same thing with a quick snack of imitation crab. It's so easy for those little things to sneak in.
I suppose that's partly why i try to over-estimate my calories, when I'm estimating. So that I'm also covering those little things that I might miss. I try not to - especially not after yesterday's reminder!
The scale is coming back down. Not sure if March will be a stay-the-same month or a small gain. But either way, I keep going.
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