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Back home

Monday, January 03, 2011

We made it to Ohio and without mishap. Our gate was even switched so we didn't have to run to our next gate as expected. God's hand at work!

We did have a small service after an afternoon viewing and an evening viewing.

My cousin was buried that morning from same funeral home. My cousins had a full day with burying him and coming to mom's viewing.

I had a meeting with the director and he let me see my cousin early.

It was kind of a closure after seeing mom in her last few days. She looked more like mom.

I got to see snow! First time to see real snow piles since 1984. Moved to Florida in 1985. It was 'cool' to walk in snow, make a snowball and wear some heavier clothes.



Left my neck scarf at the Pittsburgh airport. emoticon

You just wonder when we ring in the new year, what is going to happen this year? Who are we going to lose?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVEROSES 1/7/2011 1:01AM

    Courti, so glad you made it home ok. I like the picture of you in the snow, glad you had fun with it.
emoticonAnia

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WILDRICE99 1/6/2011 5:16PM

    Welcome home. Sounds like a tough trip. I caught up on your blogs...so sorry I missed them earlier. Sending lots of love your way.

I did get a chuckle when you said she has her teeth again! My mom has been without teeth since I've known her! I'll get another chuckle when the day comes when she has her teeth agin and I'll think of you and your mom. But until then, I'll treasure my time with her.

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DISPATCH91 1/6/2011 3:54PM

    hugs, kido

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-COURT- 1/5/2011 6:56PM

    Thanks for all the well wishes. We're doing pretty good. I haven't been going through the greiving process that they talk about. My pastor says God will take me there, but I'm not ready. I just think of mom happy in heaven then think of something else.
I did my crying when they said she had 6-months, 2-weeks and a couple days.

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TRESSA48 1/5/2011 6:07PM

    Couti, glad you made it home okay. I've been thinking of you and hope you are doing well. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Tee

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NIMAWEYGH 1/4/2011 2:24AM

    I am so glad your home Courti and I am so glad you got to play in the snow. I lived in Fort Myers, FL for 15 yrs and missed the snow. We only get it about 2-5 times a year here and not to deep. But enough.

I hope you can eventually face a new year with joy in your heart for the wonderful things it will hold and not with dispair of who you might lose.

I pray for you peace, joy, happiness, love, strength and Gods abiding love in this new year.

Love and hugs............

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DIAMANTHA 1/4/2011 1:09AM

    I'm glad you got to play in snow again (I, too, live in Florida - and I miss the snow!), but I'm sorry for the reason you were up there... I wish you well!

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DOOBRIE 1/4/2011 12:50AM

    Hi Courti - I couldn't even bear to see in the New Year and went to bed at 10.30 pm. I know how you feel.

Glad you got to play in the snow - it's strange to think you hadn't seen any for all those years.

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Doobs

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 1/3/2011 11:10PM

  Welcome home, Courti. I am glad that the tough day went well. Sending lots of love, hugs & comfort your way.

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Life's Carousel

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Do you ever feel like you are on a carousel and life is going pass at a terrific speed?

I just got a call a little bit ago that my cousin, who has been battling cancer, just died.

I now worry about any relative who has health problems. I'll be sure to take better care of my husband.

Take care and love your family and friends, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNAMACMOM 12/30/2010 7:31PM

    emoticon

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AIDELADE27 12/29/2010 10:57PM

    emoticon

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 12/28/2010 12:34PM

  Hugs & prayers to you all, dear Courti.

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ARKPLE 12/28/2010 9:43AM

    That is a lot of loss for one person to carry. Here's hoping that the new year delivers you strength and that you and your family will all be well in the new year. Many blessings. xo, ~~ Barbara

Comment edited on: 12/28/2010 9:49:26 AM

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DOOBRIE 12/28/2010 3:33AM

    Dear Courti, I'm so sorry to learn about your cousin. It must be so hard for you to cope with another loss after losing your Mum. You're certainly right about never knowing what tomorrow will bring.

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Doobs

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NIMAWEYGH 12/27/2010 9:02PM

    Oh Courti I bet you are thinking when it rains it pours. And right now it feels like it too. But your so right tomorrow is not promised to any of us. So we have to treat our loved ones as if today we might never see them again.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for all this loss. Love and big hugs gal.

Praying God's strength, love and comfort surround you now and always.

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HILLRUNNER 12/27/2010 6:00PM

    So sorry to hear of your family loss. Prayers and comforting thoughts to you.

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MDMNINA 12/27/2010 1:30PM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you! emoticon

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EUPHRATES 12/27/2010 12:29AM

    emoticon

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DEVORA4 12/27/2010 12:27AM

  OMG 2 peoploe in a week. I am so sorry to read this. I wish your remaining family, DH, children and you only good health and a happy new year. emoticon

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KARALYN_L 12/27/2010 12:16AM

    I got a similar reality check early this year when I lost me Aunt & Uncle. I regret being so far from my family and am now trying to stay connected better than a have been the past few years.

I'm so sorry about your loss. Take care of yourself and remember you always have your Spark family here for you.

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SEANDA 12/26/2010 11:53PM

    Lifting you and your family up in prayer. Yes, we need to take care of ourselves.. and our loved ones.. and treasure each moment with each other. Life is so uncertain. (((hugs)))

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To my Spark Friends

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Thank you all so much for your love and prayers. They are deeply appreciated and have surely helped during this time.

My spark friends and faith in God are getting me through.

I think of my mom now in heaven with my dad. She doesn't have a hernia, bad eye sight, arthritis, emphysema and best of all, she has her teeth back!

I don't know why the teeth thing has a special significance. She has been without teeth for many years and couldn't eat things she loved like corn on the cob.

Through your prayers, God has been blessing my family whole heartedly. I'm able to accept her passing with joy knowing that she is where she wanted to be when she passed.

She would mumble, but we couldn't make out what she was saying. The nurse at the hospice said sometimes our loved one is talking to someone on the other side. Ever since that time I saw it as mom talking with dad and couldn't wait to cross over to be with her soulmate. They have been separated for about 30 years.

She is whole and happy now.

I know it was your prayers to God helping me see things in this way.

I have been happier now being able to accept her crossing over to the other side.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNAMACMOM 12/30/2010 7:32PM

    emoticon

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 12/28/2010 12:35PM

  I am so glad you have found comfort in this time. emoticon

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EUPHRATES 12/27/2010 12:29AM

    After my mom died, we all "felt her" around a lot (she was forever making comments in the back of my head at innappropriate moments...just like when she was alive really). When my dad died 5 years ago, it went quiet for a while. :) I always figured they were making up for lost time (my mom died 9 years before my dad). That always made me feel better, knowing they were together again.
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MNOT2THICK 12/24/2010 10:50AM

    emoticon

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FITLIKENIC 12/24/2010 12:08AM

    I love that your Mom talked to your Dad... and that HE was there waiting for her... true love.

You are in my thoughts and Prayers, many hugs to YOU!

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AIDELADE27 12/23/2010 9:52PM

    emoticon

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~ELLE~ 12/23/2010 7:16PM

    emoticon Thinking of you.

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NEKOPIE76 12/23/2010 6:03PM

    That is so sweet about your mom talking to your dad, her soulmate. I know it doesn't lessen your pain but maybe that makes it a little easier to accept her passing.

Thinking of you!

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STLOUISWOMAN 12/23/2010 2:54PM

    Courti, I will pray for you & your family in this time of pain. Even when we know that our loved one is where they want to be & happier, we still miss them. Hugs to you.



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KPACE7 12/23/2010 12:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENS_DOIN_IT 12/23/2010 8:58AM

    Oh Courti.....God is good! I pray for yours and your families continued strength....you know you have us to lean on any time you need it! Take care girlee!!

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DEVORA4 12/23/2010 8:31AM

  Dear Friend Court, God be with you in these trying times. Yes, I believe that she has reunited with your dad. They will both live forever in your heart. Again my deepest condolences to you. emoticon

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YOYOEDEN 12/23/2010 8:08AM

    Dearest strong and noble Courti,

Your mum was clearly blessed with a loving and kind family. My thoughts and prayers are now with you to help you thru the grief and times of sorrow. Your mum is now at peace, and this is a gracious thing indeed.

Eden

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-SEVEN- 12/23/2010 8:04AM

    emoticon

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ILOVEROSES 12/23/2010 7:03AM

    I am so glad you're more at peace today my dear friend. emoticon
Ania

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Mom passed

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

We got the call about 1:00 this morning (12/22), that mom passed. I so wanted to be there, but they said she wasn't alone.

I guess she wanted to be with dad for Christmas. She has her own teeth now, no hammer toes or arthritis. She thinner and happy.

I wanted to ask her if she wanted to have a service. Some people don't. I don't want any family members to think bad of my arrangements if I don't hold a service. We would have a viewing.

None of her pastors are around. They sold her church, which didn't have hardly any members left.

We have to have her shipped to Ohio.

I so wished I had thought of asking her these questions earlier on before she even went into the hospital. Then it would her decision.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EUPHRATES 12/27/2010 12:20AM

    I'm sorry I missed this until now sweetie.
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MNOT2THICK 12/24/2010 10:49AM

    Hi Courti,

You have my condolences on the loss of your mom. I know it is especially hard at this time of year but her pain is over. And yes, she is back in the arms of the one who loves her.

emoticon emoticon

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NNZOOM 12/23/2010 8:57AM

    You have my sincere sympathy. emoticon

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CMA444 12/23/2010 8:53AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss! emoticon

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-SEVEN- 12/23/2010 8:02AM

    So sorry, Courti! emoticon We always think of these things later, but I'm sure whatever you do will be the right choice. You are in my thoughts today, as I am reminded to be thankful for what I have. Love you! emoticon

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TRESSA48 12/23/2010 6:41AM

    Oh, Courti, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll say a prayer for all of you. And know that whatever decisions you make will be the right ones because your mom loved you very much and wouldn't want you agonizing over this and worrying about what she wanted. As a mom, I know she would want whatever makes it easier for you and helps you get through this difficult time.

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NIMAWEYGH 12/23/2010 12:18AM

    Oh Courti I am so heart sick for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers at this time. I wish I was closer to sit with you, know that in spirit I am there.
Prayers and blessings my friend.

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LINDA! 12/22/2010 11:52PM

    I am so sorry for your loss!! emoticon

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-COURT- 12/22/2010 11:43PM

    It is so nice to know that I have such a great group of caring friends. Thanks so much for your prayers and support. I know that it is your prayers that's getting me through.

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LJR4HEALTH 12/22/2010 8:52PM

    I'm so emoticon Courti I'm sure what ever your decision is will make her pleased with the end result Sending you emoticon My thought and prayers are with you and your family at this time

Linda

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SMALLERSHEEP 12/22/2010 7:40PM

    I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. How beautiful that you are able to know that she is with your dad and no longer in pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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FITLIKENIC 12/22/2010 7:32PM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss... Your Mom is looking down on YOU and will love any decision you make in regards to her services. {{{HUGS}}}

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NEPHRONI 12/22/2010 4:16PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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KRISTA-GIRL 12/22/2010 1:35PM

    Courti, I wish I could be there with you. I'm so very sorry that you have the struggle of decisions to make on top of your indescribable loss. I am so sorry for your loss. Please, please take heart in knowing that you were there for her and took such good care of her. You are such a wonderful daughter and blessing to her. We are praying for you, dear friend.

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SEANDA 12/22/2010 1:00PM

    ((((Courti)))))) I have no words of comfort.. nothing is ever adequate. But I wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers.. and I wanted you to remind you of what you know: you have been a rich blessing to your mom during her life and especially during this season. ((hugs))

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 12/22/2010 12:39PM

  Courti, I am so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers. Sure wish I could be there in person to help you through this time.

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TERPSNMBR1 12/22/2010 11:26AM

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.
Margie

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SUETINGE 12/22/2010 11:03AM

    I'm so sorry Courti. Hugs and prayers.

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ARKPLE 12/22/2010 10:44AM

    Courti,
Sincerest condolences on your mother's passing. Your decisions will be the right ones. Anything you decide will have your mother's blessings.

Please take good care of yourself during this time of grief. My thoughts are especially with you now. xo

Comment edited on: 12/22/2010 10:52:04 AM

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FITAT50 12/22/2010 10:32AM

    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom, my thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

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LIGHTHOUSE0403 12/22/2010 10:27AM

  emoticon
With sincere thoughts of sympathy~~

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JHOPPER 12/22/2010 10:21AM

    Sincere condolences on your loss!!! Losing a Mom is never easy! Thoughts and prayers are with you Courti!

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--MAY-- 12/22/2010 10:20AM

    Corti, I am so sorry, I to am sure whatever arrangements you make will be ok. Know I am sending you emoticon and prayers to you and your family. and we are here for you when you come back.

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BEACHLVRMI 12/22/2010 10:19AM

    Oh Courti!
I am so so sorry.

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RENLA6991 12/22/2010 10:04AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.

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NERISSAFAYE 12/22/2010 10:01AM

    Courti,
I am so sorry to hear this news. Will you be going to Ohio too? I will pray for safe travels and comfort for you and your family.
Joy

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FOSTERSWIFE0711 12/22/2010 9:31AM

    so sorry!

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MRSSARAHPHALEN 12/22/2010 9:20AM

    So sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. Hugs to you.

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JENS_DOIN_IT 12/22/2010 9:07AM

    My friend, please know that you and your family in our prayers. You are being watched over, you are your mother's daughther, so I know any decisions you make, she will be smiling down at you!

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PHEBESS 12/22/2010 9:06AM

    So sorry to hear that. Hugs to you!

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CLAREEASA 12/22/2010 8:54AM

    Courti - I'm so sorry for your loss! We are here for you if need anything! Just lean on us if you need the extra support.

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ANYA_ONION 12/22/2010 8:52AM

    I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. I'm sure whatever arrangements you make will be fine. If your mom had had strong feelings about a service, I'm sure she would have talked about it. I'll be keeping you and you're family in my thoughts and prayers.
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QUEENANNE1953 12/22/2010 8:37AM

    I am so sorry for the loss of your dear, sweet mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time of sorrow. {{Hugs}}

I am sure whatever arrangements you make will be acceptable.

Anne

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PEACEJENN 12/22/2010 8:23AM

    Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

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~ELLE~ 12/22/2010 7:44AM

    So sorry for your loss Courti. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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ILOVEROSES 12/22/2010 7:43AM

    Oh Courti, I am so sorry for your loss. I know very well what you going through and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am sure whatever decision you make will be the right one. emoticon emoticon
Ania from Australia

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MERKDJM 12/22/2010 7:29AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you will do the right thing. God bless.

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SURF@723 12/22/2010 6:26AM

    Oh Courti...I am so sorry...I know you will make the right decision and it will be exactly what your Mother wanted. My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.

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ROX5CAR 12/22/2010 6:16AM

    So sorry to hear your mom passed. Praying for you and your family emoticon

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KMICHA 12/22/2010 6:14AM

    I'm sorry for you. There say that is one of the hardest losses to endure, the passing of our Mother. Thought and prayers are with you . . . I know you will do what is best. emoticon

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JESPAH 12/22/2010 6:11AM

    I'm very sorry to read this.

Whatever you decide will be as if she decided it.

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NEKOPIE76 12/22/2010 6:10AM

    Oh Courti ... I am so sorry to hear this. I hope God is able to guide though some of the hard decisions. Please know I am praying for you.

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DEVORA4 12/22/2010 3:57AM

  emoticonI am so sorry. You MUST do what you think is right and I am sure no one knos better than you what your mother would have wanted. God be with you. debby aka debby weasley

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KIN59VARA 12/22/2010 3:45AM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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Another update

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Sorry I haven't been able to update earlier. We had mom moved to the Hospice House yesterday. She was still throwing up so I spent last night there. At the nursing home they said she probably had 2-weeks, which is why we decided to put her in the hospice house.

Talking with the doctor before leaving tonight, he said he thought she had a good chance of making it through the night. I asked him what happened to the 2-weeks?! He said part of it was spent at the nursing home. The blue book explains the levels of decline...months out..weeks out...days & hours.

The nurses and doctor said they wanted me to go home and get some sleep, that we'll have a lot ahead of us.

Mom has been unresponsive most of last night and today. A few times at last night she called my name when she had to throw up. I held the pan for her.

Now she sounds like she has to clear her throat, which sounds terrible, but the doctor said she is breathing fine. They put patches behind her ears for the congestion or whatever it is. Also, she has a port in her arm so they can administer morphine. They gave her morphine suppositories yesterday and today.

We'll have to make a trip up north (Ohio), as that is where she'll be buried.

She went into the hospital Thanksgiving morning, I never dreamed she wouldn't be coming home.

Don't take your loved ones for granted. Hug them, kiss them and cherish them, because you never know. Don't do or don't forget to do something that you will regret later.





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUETINGE 12/22/2010 11:02AM

    Oh Courti, emoticon I'm so sorry to hear that your mom is going down so fast. Prayers that when the time comes, God will give her a peaceful passing and you the strength to remember the good and not be too overwhelmed with grief.

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BEACHLVRMI 12/22/2010 1:34AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Oh Courti I am so sorry to hear about your mom. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am here if you need me!

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DEVORA4 12/22/2010 1:01AM

  emoticonI am so very sorry to hear of her condition and that she is not responding. You are such a good person and hardly deserve this especially during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Your mother, family and you are in my prayers. debby emoticon

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ARKPLE 12/22/2010 12:44AM

    Courti,
My prayers and thoughts are with you. Safe travel to you and please know that only good wishes are being sent to you at this time. Keep the beautiful memories you shared with your mom first and foremost. xo

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EUPHRATES 12/22/2010 12:44AM

    Oh honey.
emoticon emoticon

I know how hard it is, first hand. Hang in there, and remember to take care of you, too.
And if the Ohio trip is anywhere near Cincinnati, and you need a hug in person or a break from it all, give me a shout.


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JENS_DOIN_IT 12/22/2010 12:24AM

    Oh my friend...I think of you often and will continue to pray! Life is precious....I wish you safe travels. Take of yourself girlee...You have LOTS of prayers being sent up!

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AIDELADE27 12/21/2010 11:18PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts and prayers and may G-d shelter you and comfort you in these difficult times. emoticon

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2BMYOWN 12/21/2010 10:57PM

    Keeping you in thoughts and prayers, Court, I have been there too many times to count thru the years and wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemy. Praying that God will send His angels to surround you, your mom, and your family during such a sad and difficult time to strengthen you and give you peace, and to carry your mom home easily and painlessly. I lost my mom when I was ten years old, and just lost my stepmom this year, also, it never gets any easier. May God bless and keep you. emoticon

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