Thursday, June 18, 2009
Ok, the old bod is doing better, moving better and not in much pain.
Time to get back on track, log food, count calories, etc. etc.
Looking at the bright side: Living with pain makes you REALLY appreciate even one day without it!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The pain monster is letting go. I took a slow, short walk yesterday and can still move this morning, so that's an improvement. I was in it's grip for about two weeks or more this time.
My WISH for this point in my life is to be able to walk until I'm just too tired to walk anymore - and have no serious pain as a result. Pretty simple, hmm? Very hard for me to achieve.
I'll never have an exercise streak that's very long because the pain stops me from moving.
I'll never stop trying, either. SO THERE!
What I need to learn from this repetitive cycle, is NOT to eat more when I'm in pain. 1200 calories is what I have to stick with when I can't MOVE. It's not much and I could eat more and still lose if I could burn more calories. Hey, I guess it's good to have a project to work on, lol.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
It's the hardest habit to kick.
The reason is obvious. We really do need food. It's not just in our imagination.
If you tell an alcoholic she can drink, but just do it in moderation, people will think you're really dumb or really cruel.
Instead, we tell alcoholics to get rid of every drop of alcohol in their house, in their life. Clean out all their stashes. Stay away from people and places that have alcohol. Remove it from their life completely. Why?
Because MODERATION is really hard. It's almost impossible to practice every single minute for the rest of your life.
Yet that is what we are expected to do with food. That is what we HAVE TO DO with food.
We can't remove it from our life altogether, can we? People are always shoving it under our noses. You can't watch 10 minutes of tv without seeing food. You can hardly go to any gathering of any amount of people where there is not food served. And, oh yeah, we need it to live.
You can't quit food cold turkey. (Does that make you want a turkey sandwich? Even our language is full of food.)
So why am I even talking about something that sounds so futile?
The answer is that because it's so hard to control a habit with moderation, we have to be a bit more realistic with ourselves.
We cannot let a relapse become FAILURE. We can't look at it as failure. It's just life. It's going to happen. We have to control our reaction to it.
We have to return to our program or plan IMMEDIATELY. Not tomorrow because we've blown today. Not on Monday because we've blown this week. Not on the first because we've blown this month.
We have that all or nothing viewpoint because we do count it as failure. It's just reality and we have to just keep on going.
This is for everyone who gave in to overeating this week. Including me.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
NO PAIN, NO GAIN is what I live with.
It's not exactly how Jane Fonda meant it. I live with chronic pain from an old back injury that has come back to haunt me. It gripped me about 7 years ago and pulled me to a screeching halt.
I went from being an active, physical person, doing step aerobic classes 3 times a week and walking 4 miles a day, to totally being a couch potato. I was flat on my back on that couch a lot of the time. Lot's of muscle spasms. You've heard of muscles of steel? That's exacly how strong they feel when they spasm and cramp in your back so that you can't move.
I came home from the chiropractor one day, and reached for my garage door opener which I kept in the unused ashtray in my car. I couldn't reach it. I was sitting in the driver's seat and couldn't lean forward enough to reach the ashtray. My back muscles were cramped so tightly I couldn't move at all. For a while I thought I'd have to call someone on my cell to help me get in my house. Just one of an endless array of painful episodes.
After 7 years of this, it comes down to this - No Pain - No Gain. If I have no pain, I do not gain. When I do have pain, not only can I not move, there is instant depression, frustration and anger. I spend all my time "managing" the pain. The only thing I can do to lift my mood is - you guessed it - eat.
I have a chiropractic adjustment every other week and deep tissue massage therapy every other week. I alternate them, so I'm having one or the other every week. Insurance doesn't cover either. But insurance will get me all the free pain pills I want. Pretty silly, hmmm? I can't/don't/won't live on pain pills. So I swim when I can, and do a hundred things I've learned to do to "manage" and live with pain.
Now you can't tell by looking at me that there is anything wrong. I look healthy, and in fact I am very healthy. I have the bloodwork of Wonder Woman, my doctor always says. I'm just in pain every day. Oh well. This is my life. Lot's of people have it much worse.
I do admit to ENVY of everyone who can take long walks, do aerobics, and garden when they want. Yep, I'm jealous. My biggest desire right now is to mow my own yard, lol.
Thanks to you all for allowing me to vent. I feel better now.
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