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BLONDE JOKE

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. Then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
--------------------------

Which reminds me of the advice I give to all the men I know.
Never argue with a woman. Even if you win, YOU'LL BE SORRY.

Have YOU laughed today?

Karen

(You could call it a lawyer joke, lol, but that's not PC either. Just say "The moral of this joke is never pick on a woman" and change the word blonde to the word woman. lol. Karen)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOPHIEMAE2007 7/23/2010 8:10PM

    emoticon

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MAJA0123 7/22/2010 7:29AM

    TOO FUNNY!!!! i LOVE blond jokes!!! as a natural blond i hear a LOT of them and they ALL get funnier and funnier to me.. LOL.

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ACIMPEGGY 7/21/2010 11:03PM

    Karen, that's great! Don't know if I can share at my Toastmasters meeting, though. Someone there says she is offended by blonde jokes (yes, she is a natural blonde).



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FISHINGLADY66 7/21/2010 10:00PM

    Thanks Karen. That is one I haven't heard. I love it. Now I've had my laugh today. emoticon

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--KREN 7/21/2010 7:58PM

    Actually, this could be called a LAWYER joke, lol. The joke IS on him, lol.

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KOSHIE1 7/21/2010 7:55PM

    Grew up a blonde, but then my hair darkened. Still love blonde jokes though. Thsi has got to be one of my favorites -- Dad is a lawyer!

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IWILLBE145 7/21/2010 5:07PM

    Good one, I loved it!
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Charlotte

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JENNY888 7/21/2010 4:54PM

    Great blond joke. Thanks for posting it. emoticon

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JEANNE229 7/21/2010 2:56PM

    LOVED this! Never underestimate a woman...even a blonde woman!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/21/2010 2:13PM

    LOL!!!

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KAYYVAUGHN 7/21/2010 1:55PM

    That was really good. You just amaze me.
What position did you hold in your former life?
Kay

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BELTONWALKER67 7/21/2010 1:47PM

    Need that laugh today! Really lightened up this "heavy" day! emoticon emoticon

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SHASTA11 7/21/2010 1:39PM

    Yes, just now. Thanks.

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SIGNS

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Reminiscing with a friend and co-worker from the past, we remembered the sign we walked under every single day on our way into lockup to interview inmates in the county jail:

IN GOD WE TRUST.
All others we search.

Any memorable signs in your life?

Karen

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTJO66 7/23/2010 9:20AM

    I don't even remember the name of the church but while out driving one day long ago I saw this sign in front of this church. It stuck with me.

"Get Right or Get Left"

Jo



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CRAFTYDEBI 7/22/2010 5:34PM

    My husband and I own a small business in Michigan. "In God we trust, all others pay cash!"

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--KREN 7/21/2010 10:32AM

    LOL, Kay, I was locked in jail for many years! I did have an hour lunch and was able to go home at night, though, lol. When I retired I was Director of Pre-Trial Release for my county. My staff and I interviewed inmates in jail to determine, through interviews with them, families, employment, criminal history, etc., if they could be released on bond with any confidence that they would return for trial or sentencing when ordered to do so. They reported to us weekly while out, and complied with court-ordered drug testing, counseling, etc. or we put them back in jail. A little like probation.

I heard some great human interest stories during that time and some of them were true, lol. And by the way, some of the inmates were nice people, just had problems living in our structured society. If you can't hold a job, balance your checkbook, afford auto insurance, renew your DL, and many other things like that, you can find yourself locked up. Of course, some were in for much more serious felonies. I saw all kinds.

Also, I had one man tell me, "I'm not evil, Ma'am. I'm just stupid!" Karen

Comment edited on: 7/21/2010 10:36:59 AM

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KAYYVAUGHN 7/21/2010 10:27AM

    The sign is very meaningful. I can't think of one now, but I'll keep thinking.

How was prison life? Did you have a long sentence? You always seemed like such a nice person.

I'm just kidding. It was some kind of job.

Kay

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BELTONWALKER67 7/21/2010 9:11AM

    One in our office is "Be Nice or Leave"! It has gotten a few raised eyebrows!

Your sign should also be at airport security gates, Karen. When returning from D.C. had a body scan at one gate and they kept telling the guard under her right arm...turned out to be the underwire in my bra!

Thanks! Your blog help me find my motivation for the day!

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JEANNE229 7/21/2010 8:04AM

    Now, Karen, I want to know MORE of the story. Why were you interviewing inmates in lockup? My daughter is a prison psychologist, and she also has this charge....

Signs? I always remember my street sign when I walked home from school. It let me know I was almost there each day.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/20/2010 10:33PM

    The sign that hung in front of the nurses station with my name and postion - Head Nurse. Big responsibility. Everyone knew who to blame. LOL.

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DGAIL51 7/20/2010 9:00PM

    Thank you for the chuckle! emoticon

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Marianna's Sunflowers

Sunday, July 18, 2010



Last Christmas, Joe's SIL, Marianna, lost her battle with lung cancer. (Photo of her on my page)

She never smoked; never lived with a smoker. No one in her family ever had lung cancer.

At the memorial service, packets of sunflower seeds were handed out. Marianna was a Master Gardner, (just one of her many talents) and the sunflower was her favorite. She planted a lot of them at her home. Her garden club facilitated that giveaway of sunflower seeds. I'd never heard of anything like that being done, but it is such a wonderful way to remember someone!

Needless to say, Joe and I planted sunflower seeds in our yards. Mine are blooming now and it is indeed a wonderful reminder of a sweet, gentle person, every time I walk out into the yard.

Seeing it makes me smile, just the way I smile whenever I think of Marianna.

Karen

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DGAIL51 7/26/2010 12:25PM

    So fitting a tribute - a piece of cheerfulness to bring you happy memories. emoticon

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IWILLBE145 7/21/2010 5:12PM

    It is a beautiful tribute to plant a living thing in memory of a loved one, and the Sunflower is a great choice, it blooms with such a huge, sunny face, and the birds love the seeds, and you can replant the seeds every year. Thanks for sharing such a touching story.

Charlotte

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JENNY888 7/20/2010 12:44PM

    What a great way to remember memories of the past than with a cheery sunflower. I know Marianna is somewhere looking at all of the beautiful sunflowers planted in her honor.

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DGOJOAN 7/19/2010 5:46PM

    What a lovely tribute. Nothing brings cheer quite like a sunflower.

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BELTONWALKER67 7/19/2010 8:08AM

    A beautiful tribute to Marianna and a wonderful way for you to remember all the good times.

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FISHINGLADY66 7/18/2010 10:09PM

    I remember your blog about Marianna too. This is a sweet way to remember her. The Sunflower is beautiful.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 7/18/2010 7:55PM

    She sounds like someone I would have loved to know. My husband and I love sunflowers too. It's nice that you and she had such a good relationship.

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PJSTIME 7/18/2010 6:11PM

    I remember your blog and the story of the sunflowers. Now that they are blooming what a wonderful remembrance to see everyday.

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SHASTA11 7/18/2010 6:09PM

    Sorry for your loss.

Beautiful picture for a beautiful lady.

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JEANNE229 7/18/2010 4:56PM

    My sister in law is fighting the same battle. She is such a sweet woman (NEVER smoked or lived around smokers), so it is a puzzle. I guess the non-smoking lung cancer is even more deadly. She's fighting a good fight.

The sunflower is such a wonderful memorial!

Jeanne

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KAYYVAUGHN 7/18/2010 2:05PM

    Of course, the sunflower is beautiful, but what a sweet way to remember a loved one.
She must have been a special person.
I know you miss her.
Kay

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JUSTJO66 7/18/2010 11:50AM

    This is a beautiful picture and a wonderful tribute to Marianna. When my dad passed away we all planted a tree (a pear) in my Mother's front yard. Like you with the sunflowers...I love to see the changes his tree goes thru every year....the white blooms every spring, the beautiful colored leaves in the fall. Just knowing it's out there "growing and alive" is a soul inspiring reminder of my dad.
Jo

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TAYLORLIV31 7/18/2010 11:19AM

    What a beautiful thing to do.......Tis blog caught my eye because my daughter just loves sunflowers. I have a packet in the garage and will make an effort to get mine going to continue the memorial to all sunflower lovers. emoticon

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Spark People on the ipad

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm seriously considering buying an ipad!

Started out looking at readers, again. Kindle, Nook, etc. Then my son suggested I get an ipad instead since it IS a reader and so much more.

I read that it doesn't support flash. Just wondering if anyone uses ipad to do their Sparking and what you think of it for that?

The real question being, is ipad Spark friendly?

Thanks!

Karen

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUEGENS 8/22/2011 11:33AM

    I absolutely love my iPad . It's so efficient and so convenient I hardly ever use my laptop anymore. My iPad is very sparks friendly, you'll l love it!!

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TECHGRANNY 7/19/2010 10:12AM

  An Ipad works great with SparkPeople. I have one and use it all the time on the Internet. It is just a smaller screen but very clear and so easy to hold on your lap. The keyboard is a little bit of a challenge. Go to an Apple store and try one out before you buy to be sure you will like it.



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REVJVH 7/18/2010 6:34PM

    I don't know about the iPad, but I use the SparkPeople iPhone app all the time. It's not as comprehensive as the website is, but if you have wi-fi, you can always use your iPad web browser to get to SparkPeople.com instead of using the app.

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JEANNE229 7/18/2010 10:59AM

    Just wondering about this is WAY ahead of me (smile), but I love a good book, so it is hard for me to switch to the electronic version. I like to SEE them on my shelf.

When you discover the answers, be sure to let the rest of us cave people know what you find!

Jeanne

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Understanding.

Friday, July 16, 2010

So many of you have commented on my Remember? blog or sent me private emails about your own parents in the throes of Alzheimer's, some form or dementia or just old age, that I thought I should update and clarify.

We did go to the cardiologist, she actually saw and was examined by two of them. She has an irregular heartbeat that really alarms any medical professional that hears it, but doesn't have much in the way of symptoms from it. The two of them consulted and decided not to change her meds in any way; not putting her on Coumadin, which they were considering, because she is legally blind and can't be very observant if she's bleeding or not, and it is a dangerous drug that needs to be closely monitored.

Basically they said that she's in great shape for the shape she's in. Nothing can be done for the problems she has at age 87 and she is living with it all pretty well. They were impressed that she can still walk a mile a day, ride the bus and go to water aerobics.

The morning we went, her mind was sharp and clear. It is that way most of the time, with only lapses now and them. As long as she's clear more than not, she's doing ok.

Most of the problems between us come up if I try to help her. She'd rather go to a free clinic than have me or my sons pay for her dental work. She'd rather live in low income housing than have us subsidize her rent. She'd rather wait for the bus than have someone take her in a car every time she wants to go somewhere. She is familiar with her own level of living and getting by and does best when left there. So, I find that as long as we let her have her way, things go smoothly. (We do best who watch covertly from afar.)

My mother didn't raise me alone. I was watched over by a group of Italian women I refer to as The Aunts. Only two of those four women are still living. I wrote a blog about one of them some time ago.
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2627346

One day I'll write about the two I still have in my life.

They, my mother's sisters, stepped in where my mother was unwilling or unable. They made my life so much better than it would have been as the only child of a single parent in 1948. I'm pretty sure The Aunts caused me to be sane and sensible and responsible. That good sense and responsibility is what brought me to this point in life where I'm able and willing to care for my mother, in whatever way she can receive that care.

My heart goes out to all of you who wrote me and those of you I've never heard from who have difficult parental responsibilities and concerns once your
parents reach a certain age. It's heartbreaking, energy sapping, frustrating and sad. As a parental caregiver, no matter if you live with your parent or only care from afar, you are a Hero, a Special Citizen, and should receive all our respect and admiration and prayers.

Karen

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 7/17/2010 10:59PM

    Your mom sounds quite independent really. It also sounds like you mother had a lot of help raising you but at any rate I can tell that together they did a remarkable job.

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ZEEDRA 7/17/2010 6:19PM

    Hello Karen,
Your blog is wonderful and so honest. Your wisdom will see you through. "The Aunts" story would be very interesting to read, if you ever feel like doing a serious memoir about your life with four guardian angels.


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KAYYVAUGHN 7/17/2010 5:39PM

    Karen,
You are a wonderful daughter. Being a caregiver is often difficult even for those we love dearly. Just do the best you can now. Your mother has pride which in a way is good, but sometimes we all need help. It's just hard to admit it and take it.
I'm so glad that she's doing as well as she can. Walking a mile a day is great.

My mother is 87, and not doing that well in some ways. She doesn't exercise at all. She will use her walker to walk when we visit and take her to the mall. That's better than not walking at all.

We just have to hang in there.

Take care of yourself also,
Kay

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Comment edited on: 7/17/2010 5:45:09 PM

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LUCKYGRANNY2 7/17/2010 8:59AM

    I'm thinking back to the struggles that I had as a child with my mother - always. Difficult to say the very least. When she became ill in '97, it was I who lived but five blocks from her who cared for her until her death in '98. A sibling lived hours away and it was difficult to make the trip here very often. I'm so glad that you, at least, had aunts who made a difference in your life. I'm sure that you mother, at her age, would suffer an indignity at having to give up control of what she now has to allow others, even family, to take over and do for her. It's a very touchy subject and sometimes one that's better left alone and watched from afar as best as one can. My heart goes out to you in this journey and I will pray for all of you.

Lonna

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JUSTJO66 7/17/2010 1:11AM

    Aww, independent people..... it is very difficult to do anything for them. Both my parents are that way (my dad is deceased) and I'm that way, too. Been told more than once that I won't "let anyone do for me". What can I say..... it's very hard to give "up that control".
Sounds like you have it figured out with your mom..... just keep doing your best.......
Jo

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PJSTIME 7/16/2010 6:50PM

    It does sound like your mom is a very independent woman and when it comes down to it. I think most of us would rather do for ourselves than know we have to rely on someone else. I am glad she is able to do as much as she can and is willing to. Just be there and watch from afar (like you said) just in case.


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READINGDOC 7/16/2010 6:07PM

    My heart goes out to you, Karen. Your mother reminds me so much of my mother, whom I lost 2 years ago. Treasure her and all of her idiosyncrasies.
Lynda

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ACIMPEGGY 7/16/2010 5:55PM

    I have thought before, like with Suz mom and my former MIL in particular, that it must be very difficult to feel you have no control over your life anymore.

You are wise to let her do as much as she can.

It's kind of like the terrible twos when a little one is learning their independence from their primary care-giver. The more you let THEM make decisions (which outfit, what for lunch, etc) is the less terrible the twos will be.

I'm glad you have the aunts, also. Big Italian families are wonderful, and so are you.

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JENNY888 7/16/2010 5:39PM

    It sounds like you Mom is very independent as mine is also. My siblings and I have recently resigned ourselves to the fact that she will do whatever she wants to no matter what we say. We realize that our ideas have to be her ideas or it won't happen.

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