*RENEAT*   3,902
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Plodding along...

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

I feel like I am plodding along today. Not always a bad thing but it strikes me as boring... I'm working, I'm sparking, I'm interacting with friends and family but it just feels like marking time right now. Is that ok? Maybe. I feel like I should feel more "engaged", if that is the right word, in things. Maybe this is another phase. I'm not feeling depressed or blah just not .... something... hard to explain. I'm not unhappy but nothing really excites me either. Hmmm... something to ponder... maybe I need to do something to shake things up - but what? Or maybe this is OK for now since I don't feel stressed or sad or blah.... Maybe I'm thinking about it too much. But of course that can't be it - I never do that!! LOL (yeah right!!!) I guess I will plod along until another idea comes to me or something changes... emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    It's okay - we have days and weeks like that sometimes. At some point, you crawl out of your shell a bit more.

If you really feel like something is bothering you - or something is going on and you just can't put your finger on it - you could either write your thoughts down (you might amaze yourself and figure it out) or go for a nice long walk and let the quiet soak in. Well, it's not the quiet - really - listen to the birds, the sound of nature around you and let your thoughts roam to wherever they need to go.

Sometimes it is hard for us to figure ourselves out because it isn't quiet enough for us to listen. I have also been rather reflective lately - more drawn in (not depressed, or anything - just thinking inside my own head a bit more).

If it's really nothing - perhaps you just need to get energized. Do something for yourself - or do something new just for the heck of it. Try a new exercise - go to a new park - go out for coffee with a friend.

Otherwise - if it is like what I am going through - it's not a problem - this, too, shall pass. Just keep going and know that tomorrow will be another day. Not every day has to be full of excitement - sometimes we need to slow down and reflect on things and search for the quiet in ourselves.

Hoping you have a wonderful day!

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LESLEYANNE11 3/5/2013 1:29PM

    emoticon Hey honey.I've had plenty of days like these.But have you noticed that soon afterwards things change for the better and become more positive.This will happen for you too sweetie.God bless lesleyanne. emoticon

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NWLIFESRC 3/5/2013 1:25PM


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Beautiful Monday

Monday, March 04, 2013

Sometimes the weather really helps influence your mood. Today is one of those days! I spent most of my lunch hour outside in the sunshine. It really made me happy. I have errands I have to run for my MIL and even that doesn't dampen the joy I have from just soaking up some nice warm rays. It's been pretty cold here in our part of the desert this winter. I am ready to warm up.

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BRERRABBIT1 3/5/2013 9:40AM

    Hi RENEAT,
:) And the sun's warmth sooths and heals us. I'm ready for spring too.


**If I could do it all again, Id be a farmer. -Mobutu Sese Seko**

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Thursday, February 28, 2013

So I know I am depressed. I take the meds, went to the counselor, do the things I need to get through my days. I think I'm coping pretty well. I work, volunteer for 4H, spend time enjoying my kids and the gang that they've acquired. It is hard because this is not the life I had planned and I miss my husband every day. I try not to be "down" all the time and try to show an interest in my friends lives. That said, I have a "friend" who recently lost her boyfriend of 6 years. I have been there for her as much as possible, even going with her to pick up his ashes so she wasn't alone. Since his passing she has come into his retirement money and has been remodeling the house, buying new clothes and is already dating. Because this makes me slighty uncomfortable, and yes, I am a bit jealous that she doesn't have to worry about money when I can't make ends meet, I have distanced myself from her a little. Last weekend she called me and I was feeling ill and was not in the mood to hear about her latest date and shopping expidition so I did not answer. When she asked my daughter about it, my daughter told her I was feeling ill. She responded with "Really? Is she really that down that she's sick all the time? Why doesn't she just get over it?"

Wow, that still hurts... We've been friends for about 7 years and I suddenly feel like I don't even know her. I don't know what to do... I'm angry and upset about her attitude. I hoped maybe bloging might help but I still feel the same... I guess time, maybe. For now I will try to be cordial - we do 4H together so I have interact with her...but I must say it makes it harder to motivate myself to do my 4H when I don't want to see her....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TCLMARAJ84 3/1/2013 1:33PM

    Sorry to hear of your loss and my heart breaks that your "friend" would act so insensitive to your situation. But as a prior post...ppl do tend to outgrow one another and perhaps it is time for you to move on from this friendship. I am learning that if I feel a person in my life doesn't mean me well I distance myself from them. I pray that you find some comfort in your situation. HUGS to you beautiful!

Comment edited on: 3/1/2013 1:34:19 PM

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TAMMY5707 2/28/2013 1:41PM

    Our friendships grow, evolve and change over time. There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people who don't fill your life with positive energy. The two of you are at different places in your lives and perhaps you have less in common now.

Her words hurt, but people who don't have depression do not understand it. You don't have to cut her off entirely, and you can still be friends. She just isn't going to be able to understand and support you through your depression. You'll have to find support elsewhere for that.

Hang in there. It does get better. One suggestion I have is to talk to your doctor about your meds. I've been on antidepressants for years and about six months ago my doctor added a mood stabilizer. The difference is like night and day. The additional pill I take changed my life. Although you do seem to be coping well so you might not need it like I did. Just something to keep in mind if you continue to struggle.


Comment edited on: 2/28/2013 1:42:28 PM

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    Look - you need to truly learn to care about yourself as much as you do everyone else. I'm not saying forget - I'm not saying you don't have problems. Do what you can - and do what you need - for you. You deserve it - and unlike other people - you will be grateful - you won't let yourself down. I am a mom - and I know how we often put everyone first - but truly, you deserve this and need it. Besides how can we meet our goals of being there for our kids if we don't take care of ourselves.

Just getting through life isn't what it is all about - it is about living. It doesn't take money to get out and walk in the sunshine (although now it may not exist where you are - sorry). I'm just trying to make a point that I truly feel for you - and if I could I'd go for a walk with you to just be around all the beauty of nature and to just forget for a minute - about everything. I'd come over for a coffee (if you have some) or perhaps some tea and ask how are YOU doing - because I'd really care.

We don't have to find comfort in many things - or by being surrounded by many people - we just need to find what it is that makes us content and be pleased with it. Live our life - get out - move - laugh - smile - and realize how truly poor some of the rich people actually are - because happiness doesn't come with a dollar sign - you can find it - if you are only willing to look. Look for it in the rising or setting of the sun - in the song of a bird outside your window - in the laugh of your children - but look for it!


Comment edited on: 2/28/2013 12:46:46 PM

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BRERRABBIT1 2/28/2013 12:35PM

:) Cordial but, 'sorry, gotta run, very busy today, later kiddo.' (Negative vibes are the last thing you need!)


**Did you hear about the new 'Divorced Barbie'? She comes with all of Ken's stuff.**

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Missing my Spark fix!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Finally cured the computer issues that were plaquing me and am able to log back on to this great site! Oh how Ive missed that little Spark in my day!!! emoticon

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HOLLYM48 2/27/2013 5:01PM

    I hear you! Glad to hear your computer is back up and running. What would we do without it! emoticon emoticon

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I don't understand people...

Thursday, February 14, 2013

I have a friend who looks for a slight or insult in everything anyone says or does. I have another who worries each time our boss is the slightest bit annoyed with a situation - thinking it is personal. I don't get it. I really don't understand. I have better things to worry about than imagined issues. Do they like turmoil and drama? Maybe they are insecure? It just annoys me that people have to FIND things to worry about. Things to worry about tend to find ME - not the other way around. And I guess I'm just ranting because I am having a crappy day and they seem petty to me... Maybe I need to not think so much about it because it really isn't my business...But it would sure be nice if I understood the draw...

So much for choosing my attitude right? (OOPS!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CINDY_LU_WHO 2/15/2013 12:55PM

    I completely understand your frustration because I have two members of my immediate family who "read things into whatever you say" and it just gets old after a while.

I had to take on a new attitude where they are concerned... I just ignore their comments when possible. If they persist, I just turn and look at them and ask them exactly what are they talking about. They try to explain but I just give them one of my eye rolling looks... and walk away shaking my head. Honestly, that has worked the best because they can't stand me rolling my eyes at them. It may not be a great way to handle it... but they have really backed off.

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BRERRABBIT1 2/15/2013 10:07AM

    :) Sorry you are annoyed today; hope you're feeling better by now. Maybe the people you describe are wrestling with feelings of inferiority. Whatever the problem is, when they display to us their attitude (negative), we are FOREWARNED. I'm always grateful for that! Thank you, RENEAT, for my lovely red rose!


**I never met a man I didn't like. --Will Rogers**

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TAMMY5707 2/14/2013 7:26PM

    Hang in there! Don't let negative people get you down. A friend once told me, "Just be a duck and let it roll off your back like water." QUACK

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FISHER011 2/14/2013 5:24PM

You are blessed to be a positive person!
Some people like their lives to be filled with worry & chaos.
Be happy that you don't! emoticon

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LEPETITCHIHUA 2/14/2013 5:23PM

    lol, here is to choosing our attitude!

An obstacle is something you see
only when
you take your eye off the goal you wish to achieve!

Happy valentines day emoticon !

And happy Anniversary! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/14/2013 5:25:09 PM

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NGREGOR 2/14/2013 5:21PM

  Raneat, I understand your frustration. Some people just seem to live on the edge of catastrophe all of the time and for them a bad day is one when everything goes well. Try asking them, will this really matter in 100 years? You can't change other people; you can only change how you look/react to them.
I hope your day improved and tomorrow will be a great day for you because, yes, you can choose your attitude, and your choice does make a difference.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALMIGHTYSWEDE 2/14/2013 5:12PM

    emoticon tomorrows a new day :)

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SHARBEAR100 2/14/2013 5:06PM

    Sorry you're having a bad day. emoticon

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