Thursday, February 28, 2008
Well if you're reading this, just a warning, you might think it's cheesy!
I was singing along to a song yesterday not really thinking about it and the words got to me. I started thinking about them not being sung to a guy, but sung to all of the fat I've lost.
Ok, so I didn't actually PICTURE the fat, and it's kind of a stretch, but I soon realized I was singing to how far I've come. I don't know why I've been thinking about this so much lately. But anyway, you can hear the song on You Tube www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FPvfrfwlX0
Kelly Clarkson : Since You've Been Gone
"Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on yeah yeah
Thanks to you now I get what I want
Since you've been gone"
Friday, February 22, 2008
So now that I've finished one book and am almost done with another, I've decided it's time for my opinions. (Not that you necessarily care, in which case, run away now! I'm about to get very opinionated!)
So I picked up the Beck Diet Solution because I heard someone suggest it. Well let me just say that I'm not impressed. Some of her advice made me want to shout out loud "well DUH!" And some of it, I thought "well I disagree completely." And then there was my moment of "wait, didn't you just say the exact OPPOSITE thing just a couple of chapters ago?"
From her chapter on how thin people think:
"Most thin people feel hungry and notice cravings, but they don't dwell on this feelings. Generally, they don't think that much about food at all...They have no problem holding off until their next snack or meal." Apparently thin people are superheros!
Yet just one page later she says, "Are you surprised to learn that most thin people restrict their eating to some degree? They accept these limitations without too much struggle."
So they aren't thinking about food, hunger, or cravings, but they are consciously restricting their eating. Ok then.
She also tells me that my cravings will magically go away for certain things after a while of not indulging in them. Which in my life is SO untrue. I haven't had certain food items for over a year, over two years, and any time I see a commercial for them my mouth is practically drooling! So sorry, I don't buy that.
I also didn't like her comments about emotional eating. "People without a weight problem don't think of eating to feel better." Well good for them!
What she neglects to mention is how some people (even those magical superhero thin people) turn to OTHER things much more dangerous than food to feel better.
The last thing that sort of bothered me was a little "did you know?" insert on one of the pages. It just sounded really condescending to me. "Did you know? It's important to distinguish between 'need' and 'want.' People have actually gone for more than a week without eating and haven't died. So, precluding a medical disorder, we definitely don't need to eat on any given day."
So I can skip a whole day of eating, huh, Dr. Beck? It won't kill me? WHO CARES!? There are lots of things you can do for a week that won't kill you. That doesn't mean that you should do them! In a way it sounds like she is saying that while food is necessary we don't NEED to eat every day. Which hopefully is not what she meant.
But either way, this diet "solution" is not for me.
I'm not quite finished with the other book I'm reading, Rethinking Thin. Which has gotten REALLY interesting!! I was a little disappointed in it at first, but now I'm hooked and I must read until the end. It's by Gina Kolata if anyone wants to try and find it at their local library. I'll say more about it when I'm done.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
So I've gotten into a kick of reading. I've been to the library quite a few times within the past couple of months. I've placed holds on various books.
But it's a little overwhelming when they all come at once! I got an e-mail saying a book was waiting for me. When I showed up there were THREE books waiting for me. I dropped off two and I still had one from before. So now I have four books to try and make it through in two and a half weeks.
I've already started Rethinking Thin, although so far it's just been about how wonderful the Atkins diet is. Which is good for others, but I know it's not for me! I HATE MEAT!
Pretty much every single kind. The only kinds I like are steak (drenched in A-1), hamburgers/hot dogs (must have ketchup, mustard, onions, relish), popcorn chicken (dipped in ranch or gravy), and popcorn shrimp (must have cocktail sauce). I can't think of anything else. Basically, unhealthy meats drenched in condiments to cover the meat taste. So I tend not to eat them.
I also picked up the Beck diet solution, which I'm not so sure about. One called Shrink Yourself, a book about emotional eating. Then I also got a book by John Stossel.
I also read the Bible (almost) every night before I go to sleep. I also have four other books that I own that I'm working my way through. Hmm...I guess as long as I'm reading, I'm not eating! LOL
Oh, and I take them with me to the gym too. So that's good!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
So I've been wavering on the 170-mark. Just yesterday the gym's scale said I was 171. Which irritated me, because just the day before I was 170. And I had no clue why it was saying I had gained a pound.
I was down yesterday, (more winter blues) and could barely make it through any working out. I actually only worked out for about 15 minutes yesterday and then had to stop because I started to feel really dizzy and weak.
Disappointed in myself I went home and started on a crazy binge. Ok, not too crazy. But my lunch didn't satisfy me as it usually does. So I had a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich.
I thought I'd be fine then. But no, I was still hungry. So I had some 100-calorie popcorn. My husband called and I explained how nothing was making me feel like I'd eaten ANYTHING. He then brought me an ice cream cone from McDonald's. Usually that leaves me feeling full for a couple of hours. They're awesome!
But no such luck this time. I finally tried again with a Kashi bar. Finally I felt full! It only took lunch and four snacks apparently!
So then I thought, whew I'll be fine now. Ran a bunch of errands because my husband, being sick, didn't feel like going to the gym. I, still not feeling up to it, was fine with that.
Ate dinner, whole wheat pasta, 2 cups veggies, and a slice of toast. Again usually I'm feeling GOOD and full after that. Nope, so my husband tried with another ice cream cone. The dairy and goodness of it leaves me good for the rest of the night.
AGAIN, didn't work. Tried a 15-calorie popsicle. Which totally distracted me from wanting to eat. That is, until I finished it! Hubby drove to Safeway because I was out of Vitamuffins. Had a chocolate Vitamuffin and finally felt content.
In the end I ate just under 2,000 calories and only burned 100 at the gym. The scale this morning? 169. So apparently I lost two pounds by eating a total of SIX snacks and 2,000 calories.
Does this make any sense? No. Have I learned to just move on with my life? Yes.
Basically the scale never makes sense to me. It'll say I lost weight when I think I shouldn't have. It'll stay the same for days on end, mocking me. It'll say I've gained weight when there is no reason to. Does this stop me from using the scale? Not at all. It's the only way I have to show progress. Measuring doesn't work. I measure about once a month and there usually isn't much difference. I seem to have to lose more than 5 pounds or so on the scale before the measuring tape will reflect anything.
What I have learned is that while I'm baffled, I don't let the scale affect my mood for the day. Scratch that, I TRY to not let it affect my mood. Hey, I'm certainly not perfect.
What was the point in this blog? I don't know. It's mostly just to show myself that I can do this. Gained weight? Who cares, I can still make it to the gym. I can still (attempt to) eat right.
In the end I'm happy that I have a body. That I have something to get me where I need to go. And the scale can't change that fact.
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