me and my honey, Christmas 08 :)
Maizy puppers :)
all 4 of my furry feline children *hehe* snax, trixie, cali, and cadet :)
hello sparkler friends!! :D (updated 7-23-09)
whew, okay. a super-quick low-down (well not really super-quick. hehe) on my last 8 months...
in december we bought a house! yay. :):) moved on the coldest day of the year in Wisconsin...-7, and that's without the windchill! lol. a month later i found out i was pregnant!!
this was a miracle! =D i have severe endometriosis and have been striving toward bettering my health through drug-free methods for almost 2 years. i have slowly decreased my pain and endo symptoms successfully! (the weight loss part has been the slowest. can you relate? hehe.) but then around 8 weeks along i found out i had a tubal pregnancy. this is common with women with endo--endometrial tissue is blocking my fallopian tubes. it was a very (VERY) painful next month, but after it all i was so encouraged and hopeful--i could actually get pregnant!
2 months later i was pregnant again! but it was almost an immediate miscarriage. :( it wasn't a diagnosed tubal, but i had a lot of the same pain and am pretty sure it was and it just miscarried on its own quickly. i recovered quickly; or so i thought. physically i'm healed, but mentally it took more of a hit than i realized.
so now, a few months later, i'm finding myself struggling with endometriosis flare-ups (from all the hormonal rollercoasters of the miscarriages) and mild depression/mood swings. this may not sound that bad, but any woman who has endo knows that sometimes there are days that you feel there's absolutely no hope for anything good to happen to you. you feel so exhausted from the pain that it feels impossible to even see close family and friends. i shut a lot of people out of my life and have felt so alone!
i have also gained about 10lb since the start of the year. my eating has been out of control! it didn't take much to revert back to my old emotional eating habits. my zeal for cooking and eating whole foods faded and i started eating a lot of junk and fast food again. not only has this caused weight gain, but has greatly contributed to my endometriosis flaring up. a nutrient-dense diet is so key to feeling well and i know this! but it's been easier to just stuff my face and numb my true feelings with what should never be called food...
(actually this made me remember a blog post from a long time ago... http://www.sillygolucky.com/blog/2007/10/1
my self-worth and confidence has fizzled and i've become grumpy, negative and illogically reactive to even my poor, loving, loyal husband! i just dont feel like myself.
currently i'm trying to get back to at least where i left off 8 months ago. my diet was no where near perfect, but i wasn't out of control. in fact, i find i do better when i dont obsess! i was active, but not an exercise freak. i was generally positive and much more patient. i at least didnt feel like a crabby, rude person like i do now! :(
so my tactic is to take baby steps back into the world of slow food (non-processed, whole and organic when possible!) as opposed to fast food and junk, and to practice my patience! i need to stop over-analyzing everything and enjoy my life. i'm not so much obsessed with getting pregnant and becoming a parent as i am just wanting to find what my purpose in life is, ya know?
i have been MIA from spark quite a bit since all this started, and probably still will be for a while. it's been hard to stay social when i've been in my little hermit-y cave. lol. i'll be around off and on, and hopefully back in full swing sometime in the near future :)
nurture your mind, body and soul and be well!
i'm STILLLLLLL working on a 10% weight loss, which will put me at 198.
eat as much organic whole foods as possible. dont obsess about calories or nutrient %'s.
do yoga as often as i want. dont think of it as exercise but a gift to my sanity!!
i also walk as often as possible with my hubby and dog :D
i'm married, 34, no kids (yet!) and live in SE WI, tho im a born Hoosier :)
this is where you can really see inside my crazy brain. *LOL* :P i also have a health journal link there as well!
i LOVE the Chronicles of Narnia, Little House series, Anne of Green Gables series, Aunt Dimity series and A Series of Unfortunate Events books. (that's a lotta series. LOL.)
i'm a nature girl.
i'm also a puter geek 8-)
i've been called a goofball more times than i can remember. LOL!
| current weight: 209.2
Hey Girlie - just checkin' in on ya again, trying to see if you're back yet. Hope you're doing well and feeling okay. Drop me a hello when ya get a chance! :o)
2268 days ago
Where are you, worried about you and wondering if you are coming back to the group?
Spark added me as a co-leader, but you created this group, I need/want ya back.
Please stop in and say hello!
2393 days ago
It was so nice hearing from you!
From what you've written in the past, I think about you often and wish there was something I could do for you.
So I just keep writing you in hopes you will be online to read it someday and KNOW, I am here.
I will let you know how my "natural" treatments go.
I got the products this week and am starting the #1 tea, twice a day TODAY.
My #2 tea is to be taken 4 days before I get my cycle and should help with the Endo.
He said I have more progestorone and less estrogen and it's supposed to be vice versa.
My Endo. is pretty bad, which I already thought from all the extreme pain, but he said has really spread throughout my body from all the surgeries as well.
Therefore leading to my non-pregnancy issues; thank God we have Wyatt, but you know we were trying for another baby since. Wyatt will be 4 in Sept. already. The doctor said because of these circumstances pregnancy is pretty much non-existent at this point UNTIL I make myself better.
So, you know how it is, you've also been down this road before, we need to make our bodies and minds better.
Let's keep each other in contact as to how we're doing, ok?
Much love and best of thoughts with YOU in your journey as well.
2502 days ago
Hey there !!! I am just checking in to see how you are doing. I have been lost and confused, but I think I have found my way back to Sparks again. I hope you are doing well. Please write. I would love to hear what you have been up to.
2506 days ago
Hey Josey, How is the gardening going? I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. It's been a tough time for me but I am back with a vengence.
2531 days ago