Bronwyn and I, November 2009
May 20, 2010... 65lbs down from my original starting weight.
My Angel and I. Sadly, Angel was taken from me by colic in 2006. She was only 6 years old.
This is the lesson I have come to learn since the fall - along with getting rid of the negativity and being completely positive about the weight loss journey - is loving yourself, no matter what weight you are. I think you have to love your "fat self" in order to be able to succeed as your "changed self" (I hesitate to say skinny because I know this journey is transforming the way I see many thing as well).
So often you see all the self loathing and sadness... I know I will be able to look back on pictures of myself, when I was fat and say I still loved her and she was a valid person in a valid body that was a stepping stone on the journey to become who I am now.
Positivity is the only way to succeed. For many of my attempts (prior to this one), it was looking in the mirror and being unsatisfied, feeling ashamed, imagining I would never date or marry or have sex or children - and then this time around, I said I wanted to do this NOT because I didn't fit what my "ideal body" was or what society told me I should look like, but because I wanted to be a more effective horseback rider, and have more energy... not because I hated myself the way that I am but because I wanted to improve - my quality of life. This is a different success - sure, I lost weight before with the negative outlook, but this even FEELS different. The sense of self worth and pride that I feel NOW even though I am not at my "goal weight" makes the journey easier... smoother...
OVERALL GOAL (12/31/10) - 180
MINI GOAL (Date undetermined) - 250
CURRENT WEIGHT 04/07/10 - 262.4
RESTART WEIGHT 12/16/09 - 293.6
START WEIGHT 09/15/09 - 303
HIGHEST WEIGHT - 2006 - 324
My story starts with a horse. A lot of girls wish theirs did, I know, and I didn't always appreciate that mine does, but I do now.
I grew up as the "fat girl" - I was happy, but easily hurt. Largeness - both in body structure and weight - runs in my family. As a result, I am 5'11" with size 12 ladies feet, hands that rival any grown man's, and an XL hat size - nevermind the hips to bear children with and shoulders like a linebacker.
In the summer of 2006, I started my journey at 324lbs, I was successful at losing 30lbs simply by making slight changes to my diet, following SparkPeople, and riding my horse four times a week. Following that, the end of August, my best equine partner (pictured beside in the shot of me in the blue) died a sudden and painful death, which sent me into a tailspin. After that, I let grief consume me, and gained back approximately 10lbs.
Almost a year later, I met Bronwyn. At the time, we were both damaged and a little scared of the future. She had a rough go of life, and was three years old, starved nearly to death and had never been inside of a barn - never felt the desire to trust a human. Together, we worked through her issues. She's a happy, well adjusted horse now - and I'm a happy, well adjusted person.
My goal is to take her to a horse show this summer and for both of us to look even more fabulous than we look now!
Minor changes that improve the overall picture - upping calcium intake, flax, stevia, cutting out processed foods, and the like. Lots of fresh veggies for me.
New Brunswick, Canada -- firstname.lastname@example.org (PLEASE SEND ME ENCOURAGEMENT :-D)
| Pounds lost: 55.0