WISTERIALODGE   31,898
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Lynette at 261 pounds



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The Fire In My Belly

In the last year I've lost 75 pounds and feel like a new person, one with confidence and doesn't mind looking in the mirror. The negatrack which has plagued me since the formative years has been fairly quiet for some time; when it starts playing the same old negative messages which have plagued me and has contributed immensely to my low self esteem, I have only to look at the mirror, the scale and the pile of undergrown clothes to know it's wrong. For perhaps the first time in my life I ...
In the last year I've lost 75 pounds and feel like a new person, one with confidence and doesn't mind looking in the mirror. The negatrack which has plagued me since the formative years has been fairly quiet for some time; when it starts playing the same old negative messages which have plagued me and has contributed immensely to my low self esteem, I have only to look at the mirror, the scale and the pile of undergrown clothes to know it's wrong. For perhaps the first time in my life I believe in me.

I lost 40 pounds years ago, but it crept back up bit by bit. I allowed injuries to sideline me instead of trying to work through them by continuing going to the gym and adjusting my workouts to do things unaffected, and resorting to the pool to work on activities with less impact, like I hear about elite athletes doing.

I lost faith that the weight would ever come off.

I guess the catalyst for getting serious about losing weight and changing my life was going to the Biggest Loser casting call last March. There were about 1500 people in line and I spent 8 hours in line to spend a few short minutes with 15 other people answering out name, age, occupation, weight, and what we'd do with the money. While in line I saw people consuming meals from the local fast food restaurant which must have contained at least 3000 calories, ordering pizza to the line, consuming Double Gulps and chain smoking. I already had the gym membership and resolved that I wasn't going to wait for the astronomical chance of being cast to change my life. I also resolved to work out as hard as I imagine they did on the ranch and work out every day when possible.

My fifth day back to the gym I met with a trainer who taught the Boot Camp class I had attended on Day 2. I had forgotten how to adjust some of the machines, and he helped me come up with a workout to start with. He set the weight on the calf machine at 180 pounds and said "you're stronger than you think you are". Since then he has become a mentor and a friend.

You're Stronger Than You Think You Are has become a mantra for me. It takes strength to haul around 290 pounds and seated exercises involving the legs I can do with an impressive amount of weight. Other machines he had me doing I was surprised by the amount of weight I could do, not always easily but I could do it. Now I smile when I see someone come to a machine I've just finished with and watch them adjust the weight downward, or a find that my mentor has just used a machine and I'm doing the same weight.

It seems so easy now I wonder why I've struggled for years and failed. In fact I've felt sheepish that I didn't do this years ago and am sometimes a little embarrassed by my sudden success.

What is so different this time around? I have a fire in my belly to succeed and pay attention to portions sizes and calories consumed. I won't be one of the thousands of morbidly obese people who are hoping someone will wave a magic wand and make them fit and thin with little or no effort on their part. I will work as hard as I can and push my limits further and further. I will celebrate every little victory and milestone and tell everyone who will listen.

As a costumer, I will no longer play to my excessive weight in the my design choices and making light of my size, but choose designs which reflect the changing me and celebrate the new and improved me. It's a little tricky now deciding on a complex costume which might involve 200 hours work, in 3-6 months will it even fit? I've allowed extra fabric so I can cut a smaller bodice for the future. One goal I've met was to undergrow my Victorian corset which was rather small on me a year ago.

I feel driven and feel guilty if I miss a day at the gym (or a strenuous hike taking hours). The gym has become the center of my social life too, most of the regulars know me and have commented on my transformation. I heard from one patron that her trainer pointed me out and told her about my success.

In my family we tend to be obsessive about things we become interested in and this trait is paying off for me. I'm always looking at fitness books at the library and have a small but growing library of my own.

This time I have the drive and determination and I will succeed!




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 current weight: 243.0 
 
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Member Since: 8/19/2010

SparkPoints: 31,898

Fitness Minutes: 35,129

My Goals:
To lose 10 pounds a month, trying to work my weight down as far as I can, ultimately 120 pounds.

My Program:
I'm working out every day unless circumstances prevent me, but so far I only miss an average of one day every 2 weeks or so.

I got a recumbent stationery bike so I can hop on and ride anytime, so that I have more opportunity to mot miss days and put in more time.

I work out 2-3 hours a day, but have gone as long as 6 hours.

I do cardio, strength training, swimming, and stretching. I attend Boot Camp and Water Aerobics twice a week and am trying to get in one hike a week.

Other Information:
Interests: costuming, movies,

 
 



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Member Comments:
MYLEHIA
2/25/2012 3:11:52 AM

how is your journey going?



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SCRAPPYLADYV
2/8/2012 12:34:26 AM

Hi!! Just stopping by to wish you a wonderful week!! Let's go Indigos!!

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
-- Stephen Covey



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GABRIELLEVA
2/7/2012 9:19:58 PM

Keep up the great work! Good luck at tomorrow's weigh in...here we go Indigos!



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MIAMI_LILLY
2/7/2012 4:03:25 PM

You are the epitamy of the phrase "the power of perseverance". Wishing you success always, fellow Indigo!



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-WRKNG2ABTTRME-
2/6/2012 11:40:37 AM

Sending you best wishes for a great week ahead!

Indigos Rock!



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