Totally and completely DONE!

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January 2009
In numerology, this year, 2009 adds up to what is called an 11/2. This is a Master Number with big, powerful energies. It is a year for big changes powered by vision, inspiration, and illumination. It is a year for all of us to ride these energies and make the changes we have been talking about for as long as we can remember. I feel it within myself and I hope you all do as well.

In addition, this is an 11/2 personal year for me which will likely intensify this year's energy in my life. In order to take advantage of this, I plan to incorporate some kind of daily practice. I feel this is crucial to my journey as a lack of connection to that place of stillness and peace within me has been a major contributing factor to my unhealthy lifestyle and thus my weight gain. It is time to become the person I am here to be; hiding is no longer acceptable.


December 2008
I was here two years ago tracking my food and fitness goals and doing really well. I don't remember what happened or why I lost focus but I did and now I am back to have another go.

In alchemy, there is a point in the alchemical operation, the putrefactio, where the substance "dies" or is reduced to blackness. Following this is the albedo, the "work in white" where "we receive not only a new Soul with this regeneration but also a new body. This body is extracted from the Divine Word or from the heavenly Sophia." (Gichtel quoted by Mircea Eliade in The Forge and the Crucible)

Well I have reached my putrefactio and it is time for the death of all those habits, thoughts, and lifestyle practices that are actually killing me. I am DONE!

I am DONE being the fat girl!
I am DONE seeing the concerned looks on the faces of the people I love because they want so desperately for me to lose weight!
I am DONE being unhealthy!
I am DONE with fat girl clothes!
I am DONE buying purses and shoes instead of clothes because I hate the way I look!
I am DONE feeling invisible!
I am DONE failing myself!
I am DONE hearing "you have such a pretty face!"
I am DONE making excuses!
I am DONE sitting on the sidelines!
I am DONE hating myself!
I am DONE with diabetes!


I am going to extract the Divine Body I know I have underneath all this excess matter. The healthy, strong, fit body my DNA is capable of and be DONE with all this other mess. I refuse to allow food to control me for one more second. I have wasted too much of my life being fat.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk to bloom" ~Anais Nin

It is time...

I am SO D O N E!


My Progress and Rewards =)

10 - DONE! 12/15/08, Pedicure
20 - DONE! 1/21/09, Massage
30 - Chi facial mask
40 -Pedicure
50 - Plane Ticket!
60 - Massage
100 - Cruise to Alaska!
GOAL - New Wardrobe!

Member Since: 1/18/2007

Fitness Minutes: 377

My Goals:
To have balance in all areas of my life.

To be able to do more with my body.

To lose 100 pounds before my 40th birthday (August 2009)

Improve my consistency with fitness - at least 3x per week as a start

Run a 5K race

My Program:
I have significantly reduced my caloric intake and I am consistently tracking all my food on SP

I have eliminated high fructose corn syrup, most sugars and all other "white stuff" from my diet.

I have made a conscious effort to eat fruit and vegetables daily.

I focus on being prepared and having foods available that will satisfy and nourish me.

I eat Dr. Siegal's Cookie Diet cookies for one meal a day and/or to control my hunger if I need to.

I have not cut out fat but I do use low-fat options most of the time.

I struggle with consistency in my fitness program but I am working on improving that.

Personal Information:
I am 39 as I write this and live in Santa Barbara, CA. I recently completely changed my life by going back to graduate school, quitting my job and moving back to California. I am doing software consulting to keep the bills paid. I am now following my bliss every single day and getting my health and weight in line are major milestones on my journey.

I do not yet know where this portion of the journey is going to lead me but I have faith that it will be revealed in time and I can't wait to find out what it is!

Other Information:
Be the light in your world when all others have gone out.

Ya-Ya Name
Viscountess Soars with the Wind

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  • v _RAMONA
    Dearest Bonnie,

    I'm praying that 2012 holds nothing but blessings, JOY, success and grace for you!

    2148 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/2/2012 3:18:13 AM
  • v _RAMONA
    Just in case you pop in here... I received this today, and I am DELIGHTED to pay it forward here because YOU deserve it as many times over!!!!

    *´¨¨)) -:¦:-
    ¸.♥ .·☆´¨¨)).·*¨)
    ((¸¸.♥´ ..·´ ☆**☆.¸¸.♥´

    Beautiful Woman Award!

    "The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. ...True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!" SAM LEVENSON

    When I ponder beauty, I think of YOU! Thank you for gracing my life with beauty!

    Once you've been given this award, you have to paste it on the wall of the deserving women in your life. Every one you receive is a jewel in your crown... you are Daughter of the King, and YOU ARE truely beautiful! Consider passing this on to the special women in your life... it's always good to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out!

    "You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God." Is 62:3

    As always, YOU remain in my prayers... may you find peace within and all around you. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content. May the presence of Christ settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

    May today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May the grace of God simply "overtake" you moment by moment. May the joy and victory of the risen Lord be yours in a very personal way... may you always be overwhelmed by the grace of God, rather than by the cares of life! AMEN.

    Much love &
    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    2491 days ago
  • v _RAMONA
    ...I STILL miss you, Bonnie!

    May today bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May the grace of God simply "overtake" you moment by moment. May the joy and victory of the risen Lord be yours in a very personal way... may you always be overwhelmed by the grace of God, rather than by the cares of life!

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    2664 days ago
  • v _RAMONA
    Good morning, dear Bonnie!

    Every once in a while, my dreams are filled with prayer and reassurance and I wake up singing (I know, weird... but it's such an amazing feeling!). This morning was one of those mornings... I woke myself up singing, and now it's on my heart to sing to you... "Listen, my people! Your hopes are answered. Listen, and hear my voice. Your hopes are answered. YOUR hopes are ANSWERED!"

    I pray in the echoes and shadows of your day, you SEE that YOUR HOPES are answered.

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    2854 days ago
  • v _RAMONA
    Hey there, BEAUTIFUL! I'm STILL missing YOU! I really hope you are well... you've been on my mind A LOT lately (truth is, you're never really off my mind).

    Here's a prayer that I found this week that is working on my heart, and in my life...

    "Lord, open my fist and help me let go of things that slow me down on the road. Give me just a walking stick of fortitude and those sturdy sandals of courage to walk where angels trod. AMEN."

    My favourite lines... "Oh Lord, open my fist.... Let me have THOSE sturdy sandals of courage to walk where angels trod."

    It's funny just how often I am noticing my fist tightly clenched (usually in fear and hurt), and how easy it's becoming to laugh and open my hand.

    And those sandals! I have the same feeling about them that I used to get when I was a little girl and Mom and Dad would take me to Burton's each fall to get fitted for my new shoes for the year. They had a huge, wide counter with little chairs on it with room to stand in front of each. I'd be so gently lifted up, and this wonderful lady (I don't remember her name) would 'fit' me. She held my foot with such assurance, and she'd squeeze it just a little to tease (she'd NEVER tickle, and I always wondered how she could be so smart and other adults could be so obtuse about tickling). Then she'd bring all of the shoes out that might be possible... some she'd reject quickly due to lack of fit ("they'll eventually pinch, or stop hugging your feet"), until finally she'd have left a few choices that would work, and we could choose. My shoes NEVER hurt my feet, they always lasted and carried me through everything the year held, and I felt so LOVED in the measuring process... as often as not, she supported my choice by explaining to Mom and Dad that their concerns about it were unfounded... ALL the shoes she offered were GOOD... and she helped me understand Mom's and Dad's genuine concern for me and my little feet (sort of like the Holy Spirit).

    That's how these sandals seem to me... mine and mine alone, properly fitted and ready to last through anything!

    Okay, ENOUGH, already! LOL! I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and that I wish you similar sandals, and so much more...

    MAY GOD ABUNDANTLY BLESS YOU, my dear friend, and those you love, in every way that you require. May he hold you gently in the palm of his hand in a very personal way, and may you rest in the fullness of his love, his grace, his strength, his wisdom, his rescue, his redemption, his healing, his inspiration, his restoration and his mercy as you require it! May you carry in your heart always an extra special awareness of God's great love for you, may you feel his sweet and gentle touch upon your life, and may you see his miracles all around you. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen!

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    2982 days ago
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