VERGE_OF_ME   36,997
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"They shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary. "~ Isaiah 40:31

**Thought for 2013** "When it comes to my body, I can't live with divided loyalties. I can either be loyal to honoring the Lord with my body or loyal to my cravings, desires, and many excuses for not exercising." ~ Made to Crave This, in addition to clinging to thought for 2012.

**Thought for 2012** "Comparison is the Thief of Joy"~Theodore Roosevelt.

January 4, ...
"They shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary. "~ Isaiah 40:31

**Thought for 2013** "When it comes to my body, I can't live with divided loyalties. I can either be loyal to honoring the Lord with my body or loyal to my cravings, desires, and many excuses for not exercising." ~ Made to Crave This, in addition to clinging to thought for 2012.

**Thought for 2012** "Comparison is the Thief of Joy"~Theodore Roosevelt.

January 4, 2013 - I want to stop comparing my journey and my abilities to that of others whom I deem successful. The act of comparison leaves me feeling defeated and discouraged, so counter-productive to what I want to be and achieve. I am working on trying to embrace each day exactly how I am and exactly where I'm at(presently starting out 2013 w/a 30lb gain....again), no matter what. In doing this, I CHOOSE Joy! Joy is much more conducive to me reaching my goals than either discouragement or defeat have been. Also ready to regain control of what(everything "healthy me" related) has been reeling out of control since leaving the life of sahm-dom for the first time in 12 years. Love my job at my kids school so much....time to find the balance of continuing to love and work on me along with it! Have come too far to continue going backwards, it stops now.

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run." (This one in particular reassures me that I can be who I want to be no matter what!)
~John "The Penguin" Bingham~

"For better or worse, you are the only you that you will ever get. What you decide to do with you is up to you. Tomorrow you will still be you. The question is whether you will move closer today to who you want to be." ~John "The Penguin" Bingham~

"Out on the roads there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be."
~Dr. George Sheehan

"Our running shoes are really erasers. Every step erases a memory of a past failure. Every mile brings us closer to a clean slate. Each footstrike rubs away a word, a look, or an event, which led us to believe that success is beyond our grasp."
~ John "The Penguin" Bingham~

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These quotes are the foundation of my philosophy and serve to inspire me as I move forward into what will be my 4th year at SparkPeople. I have experienced both success and failure within this time frame. The success due completely to the abilities God gives me and what I have found here at SP. The combination of those things empowered and enabled me to succeed. The failures have been at my own hand. Both have taught me much and have brought me to where I am today. I have learned to rely on God and walk more closely with Him as I travel this road. I am stronger than when I started both mentally and physically. I have discovered what self-confidence feels like and hunger for more. I have discovered possibility in and through perseverance, determination, sweat, and accomplishment. All of this fuels my fire to become all that God intends me to be....vibrant and healthy. I am ready to put rubber to the road and make that happen to it's fullest extent. Without the lessons learned from where I have been....I would not be prepared to make permanent and lasting changes, nor to handle life in healthy ways as it happens without warning. Yes, now I am ready...after all...I am the only me I will get and each day is a that I will open each morning with the fervor, reverence, and purpose that life deserves. Injury and self-doubt had me on the sidelines for half of 2010, I am not sorry to see this year slide off silently into the past. I am gearing up to greet 2011 with gusto and making it count in every way possible!

Read More About VERGE_OF_ME (Updated April 23)



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 current weight: 225.0 

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Member Since: 3/14/2007

My Goals:
**2013 Update** I'm struggling to reach the home stretch, but persevering.

1.) To hopefully somehow bring glory to God through my daily life.
2.)To be the best mom I can possibly be. 3.) To not be too hard on myself or expect too much too soon. 4.) To work hard at staying positive and not let discouragement seep in and take over. 5.) To just feel better and be truly healthy.

My Program:
Been at this almost 6 years now and know what works and what doesn't. What works is tracking food and exercise dutifully and following the guidelines set forth for me by SP. What works is eating healthy, well balanced meals and snacks and not starving myself. What works is utilizing the principle of "if it didn't come from the garden or from something that had a spot on Noah's Ark....then don't eat it." I avoid processed stuff and eat as fresh and natural as a tight budget will allow. What works is MOVING, moving, much and as often as possible. Working hard to hit my THR with each workout now.

All that I have accomplished thus far is completely attributed to the tools and knowledge I have found here at SP! Sparkpeople not only helped me change my life, I believe what I have found in the program here literally saved my life.

Personal Information:
I am a sinner, saved by God's grace through the blood of Jesus. I am 44, a wife and mother of 2 vivacious and beautiful children, boy-8 and girl-12. Currently, trying so hard to conquer this battle and show my children what healthy looks like, while learning to look to God for my strength instead of my self. I have given food way too many hats to wear in my life...companion, comforter, calmer, reward, and just all around plain void filler. My kids are only going to learn from my really crappy example and I am robbing them of their best mom and me of my best self by reaching for food just because it happens to be there. I was so happy to find this site and am hoping to connect with other people who might possibly relate in some way to how I feel and to share mutual support and friendship. It is time for me to take back control of my life.

Other Information:
Born in Hawaii, live in Oklahoma,lol. Some things I love:
My growing relationship with God, being a mom and wife, my family(dh, 2kids, 3dogs), gardening, camping, writing, softball, cooking, learning about people.
I am a sucker for the underdog and music of most any kind(LOVE 80's stuff) is just as necessary as air to me.

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Member Comments:
1/11/2014 9:53:27 PM

Thank you so much for your honest response on my blog. We are here to support each other. I feel so much better now that I disclosed my recent struggles. I think I am on my way to reconnecting with myself. I feel more optimistic than I have in a long time. emoticon

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8/19/2013 1:52:23 PM

Hey Laura,
Just popping by to say hi and hope things are going good for you. So what is new? We moved back in June to a new home and are settling in nicely we still live in michigan.


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5/31/2013 8:48:26 PM

SO good to hear from you Laura!!! I'm hearing that tornados are hitting OKC again! Keeping you guys in my prayers!! Miss you! Hope to hear from/touch base with you again soon!! (((hugs)))

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5/23/2013 12:39:29 AM

Amy and Lori, bless you both for thinking of me. We are ok here, Sunday's tornado was only a few miles from our home and it was a very frightening time....many in my area are devastated. Monday's storms were horrific all over again....what you see on tv doesn't begin to depict the level of loss and destruction. It will be many months if not years for recovery.....but we know how and are already moving forward. Oklahoma truly is the heartland where neighbors care for one another......we are all just helping where and how we can. Thank you both for being my caring friends and please....keep the people of Oklahoma in your prayers for days to come....we need them. Love y'all and hope you are both well!

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5/21/2013 4:08:07 PM

(((Laura))) - hope you and your family are ok! I've been hearing about all the tornados rolling through're in my thoughts and prayers. Miss you and think of you often.
Love and hugs!! Lori

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