New York with Paul, back when I only had about 40 pounds to lose!!!
Hiking for my brother, when he couldn't go himself...
Grrr!! Hate this photo of me, which is why it's here. To motivate!!
Things have changed SO much from when I started on Sparkpeople. I came here hurt in body and spirit, but really wanting to do something good for myself and for my husband. I joked with him about giving him the trophy wife he so deserves, but truthfully, I wanted to do this for myself. I lost just shy of 50 pounds total from the weight I started at. In the last year, I gained all that weight back, plus 10 pounds, but I am not sorry!!! If that sounds strange to you, read on...
I turned 40 this year and planned a big party with friends. When the time came though I was not in a celebretory mood. Not because of the age factor, but because 2 days before my birthday, I found out I was pregnant. After all we went through with miscarriages and a stillborn daughter, you can understand the trepidation. Months before that, we had decided to not try for more biological kids and start the process of becoming foster parents. We had shut the door on having a biological child. So for the first few months, we were not happy about this pregnancy and were reeling emotionally. Talk about a roller coaster of emotions! Determined to do the best by this pregnancy, and not really wanting it in the first place... it tore us up.
And I guess I have to backtrack a bit as well. I had been harboring hatred towards someone. Believe me when I tell you that this hatred was not misplaced or undeserved, but it was eating me up. I turned into someone I did not like as I nurtured that awful feeling towards someone else. I had known for some time that I needed to purge that hatred, but didn't get to that point until early May of this last year. Through someone else, not connected with this hatred, I had an epiphany. And that was what I needed to let go. I no longer hate this person. I feel sorry for them, and don't trust them, but the hatred is gone. It felt so freeing. I had no idea what was in store for me just a few weeks later, in the form of a little pink line. Make that 2 pink lines.
So back to the pregnancy...
Once we accepted that we were, indeed, having a baby, we did just fine. I continued to work out, gained just the right amount of weight and did what the doctor said. My job was extremely stressful however, and after finding out that I had edema and signs of other health problems, I was put on bedrest for the last 3 1/3 months of pregnancy. I watched a LOT of TV on DVD. Battlestar Galactica, 5 seasons of the X-files, tons of movies, and a little Buffy the Vampire Slayer kept me sane. My mother lent me her laptop and I surfed the internet incessantly, sent emails and instant messages galore and went to 2 doctor appointments a week, all of which kept me sanely insane.
My health continued to show signs of problems that could affect the baby, and every doctor appointment was a sort of "waiting for the other shoe to drop" game. We always got a good report on our son (yes, we found out it was a boy, with NO doubts whatsoever, he would hide his face in the weekly ultrasounds, but everything else was visible!) but we still felt that doom was hovering. Even after one doctor with a horrible bedside manner told us that "death is not imminent." And yes, that is a direct quote.
So, we all decided that we needed this kid out and breathing air, and I was induced 2 1/2 weeks early. After all day contractions and hours of pushing with little to no result, (months of bedrest wreak havoc on the ability to work those abs) we had to resort to suction but little Wil was born on January 10th. It was the hardest and most painful thing I have ever experienced. And I would do it again to have this precious little boy. He is lying next to me on the bed, kicking and making little noises. We are so blessed to have a good eater and sleeper who hardly fusses at all.
And although I lost 30 pounds already (in just over 2 weeks) most of it was water weight, Baby Wil, and placenta/amniotic fluid). The rest will be coming off with work and with determination. I still want to be that trophy wife, but this isn't just for me any more. I have a small son that needs me to set an example for him, to show him how to eat right and stay active. I don't want to be that old lady on his graduation day. I want to look and feel as young as I do at this moment. Of course, some of that feeling of youth might be delirium from lack of sleep...
It's not really about the number, although I have one in mind. It's about losing the baggage AND the weight.
I am lifting weights twice a week with my trainer and good friend. I am also TRYING to do cardio at least twice a week, but really should be doing it 4-5 times a week...
I am 39 and FINALLY starting to get it about being healthy. I have lost people important to me and don't want that to drag me down. I am trying to have their lives inspire me instead of destroying. Dolphins and ladybugs have very personal meanings to me.
I love food of all kinds, but need a better relationship with it. I love movies and books, being with the Fantastic Four (AKA, Red Headed B's), love my husband, and our extended families. Family is everything.
| current weight: 195.0
I am sending out a personal invite to all my spark to The Rocky Summer Challenge, a challenge that is designed to help you build strength in your core, upper body and lower body along with building up your endurance in cardio while also combining the fun of “The Biggest Loser” weight loss idea. This challenge starts on June 1st and will last 4 weeks. Sign up are on my team, “The Challenge” which is located on my sparks page. (The thread is in the introduce yourself forum). More info is included there too (you don’t have to join in order to see the info) and you can email me a request for more details before joining.
We have done this challenge before (before the team was started) and it was a huge success. The request from spark buddies, who took part in this last time, has been tremendous so it’s coming back!!!
I encourage you all to invite a buddy to the team (everything is more fun with a friend) and if you do so, I’ll be pairing you both (or how ever many) onto the same team together. Remember the more the merrier!
2557 days ago
WOO HOO!! Welcome back!! And now you MUST come join my Losing the Baby Weight...and More team!!!
2568 days ago
Ready for a challenge?
LET ME SEE WHAT YA GOT! 10 SQUATS NOW AND I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOU CRYIN' !!!
LET ME HEAR YA COUNT THEM OUT!!!
PUSH THROUGH THAT LAST ONE!!!!
HIT ME BACK WITH A CHALLENGE IF YOU DARE!!!
2584 days ago
Congrats on the birth of your son! Hope all is well!
2591 days ago
I saw you on the writers workshop team I wanted to invite you to another team (okay so it's mine!) because I'm about to start Script Frenzy this April and need something to keep me on track. The workshop will keep me writing but I need a challenge to go with it and yet want some people who know what it's like to combine writing and staying fit. The team is called, "The Challenge" and can be found on my sparks page. Hope to see you there. I'm starting a new challenge for us this April.
2615 days ago