Me, May 2010
While I have sailed passed my 40th birthday without meeting my weight goals as listed below, I have made significant changes in my life that have made me a healthier, happier person. I like where I am in my life and how I look, but I'm ready to try again to incorporate healthier eating and exercise into my world. I am looking for inspiration and fun to fuel this journey.
I have never been what you would call a small person. Even when I was thin, I felt bigger than other people. I struggled with yo-yo dieting and eating disorders as a child and a teenager. In my early 20s I put all that behind me, vowing to love myself as I was and to never diet again.
Now, as I am facing 40, I have kept that vow. I love many things about myself and absolutely refuse to “diet.” As mama to two young sons, I have spent the last 10 years joyfully focusing on my boys. As fulfilling as this has been, I have recently realized that I have lost touch with myself – the vision I have of and for myself no longer matches the outer reality. It is clear to me that now is the time to make physical, emotional, and spiritual changes that will bring me closer to my vision of the person I want to be.
Losing weight will be a part of this change for me. However, I knew that “dieting” would not be healthy for me, and that I needed a system that would teach me to make permanent, healthy changes in my lifestyle while I still love the person I am. So far, SparkPeople is filling that need – allowing me to take care of myself without feeling deprived or critical.
I will turn 40 in May of 2009. My goal is to greet that milestone birthday with positive energy, enthusiasm, health and momentum that will carry through my next 40 years.
From The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy,
mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic,
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another
to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul;
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty,
even when it's not pretty, every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up,
after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
To continue to become the person I want to be - happier, more fulfilled, and healthier.
Currently being reconstructed.
I am an artist who lives in Lexington, Kentucky with my partner of 17 years and my two boys who are 11 and almost 6. I work with non-profits in fund development and grantwritign. I am originally from Morehead, KY and lived for about 13 years in and around Northampton, Massachusetts.
I love reading, hiking, thinking, playing with my boys, and making art of different kinds.
Secrets of Success
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