TRACYNOTGIVINUP   32,947
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30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
   




September 2012 at 165 goal





Me (at 279) and my three amazing kids...James age 9, Samuel age 21 months and Kaleigh age 15 1/2



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Livin' Up to My Name

Hello Everyone, my name is Tracy. I have been having a hard time for the past several months now. Here are some of my numbers to try to shorten my description:

Joined SP in July 286 pounds.
In September of 2012, I hit my goal weight of 165 pounds.
In April of 2012 I began running and loved it.
In July of 2012, I ran from start to finish my first 5K. I still loved it.
In December of 2012, I ran each day for a total of 100 miles.
In April of ...
Hello Everyone, my name is Tracy. I have been having a hard time for the past several months now. Here are some of my numbers to try to shorten my description:

Joined SP in July 286 pounds.
In September of 2012, I hit my goal weight of 165 pounds.
In April of 2012 I began running and loved it.
In July of 2012, I ran from start to finish my first 5K. I still loved it.
In December of 2012, I ran each day for a total of 100 miles.
In April of 2013, I began wondering what I was aiming for. I had a hard time keeping my weight in check and wasn't looking forward to my running anymore.

Since then I have been struggling. I have gained about 30 pounds back. I am very unhappy with myself and seem to keep grasping on different things to try to find my lifestyle, but thus far nothing has worked. I have tried running again, but am still finding it feeling like a chore, probably because I am looking at it as a job/chore and I am mad at myself that I am not in the shape I was just a year ago. After months of doing this, I made some new years resolutions, figuring that had to work. I feel like I MUST know what I need to do. But they came crashing down around day 10. I suppose I should note here, I am a food addict and I am pretty sure I suffer from binge eating disorder. I have been thinking for days, I decided that the time I was happiest was when I was active on Spark. I believe it is because I always searched myself and came up with goals and plans to achieve them. I need to do something to keep myself in check. So, here I am back sparking. I also searched my thoughts about starting a new name or coming back to this one. It is kinda shameful to look at what I had done on this old name and feel like I let others but mostly myself down. But then decided that this is what I need to do, go back to this girl who lost the weight, who found the motivation and determination to follow through with making goals and setting plans. I decided it was truly time to live up to my name on spark.....

TRACYNOTGIVINUP
Read More About TRACYNOTGIVINUP (Updated January 19)




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My Ticker:

 current weight: 190.0 
 
286
253.25
220.5
187.75
155


 
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Member Since: 7/8/2011

SparkPoints: 32,947

Fitness Minutes: 40,738

My Goals:
Get back to my goal weight range of 163-168 pounds.

Find my love for running again.

Run a half marathon.

Get smaller and leaner, not skinny.

My Program:
Eat in my calorie range

Weight lifting 3x a week

Running/cardio 3x a week

Learn that it doesn't have to be all or nothing

Personal Information:
My name is Tracy.

I am 40 years old.

I live in Connecticut, USA.

I am married to my high school sweetheart, have been for 17 years.

I have 3 AMAZING children, Kaleigh, 18, James, 13 and Samuel 4 years.


Other Information:
I love:

my family
my friends
bingo
reading
crafts
my new home
Big Bang Theory
UConn Huskies men basketball
running
Zumba


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Member Comments:
SEATTLE58
4/1/2014 10:59:25 AM

I've been thinking about you wrote me the other day Tracy, about accountability and checking in with each other. I think that I'll take you up on that. That hopefully will help me! I've had a few Oreos for breakfast with milk. I mean, come on, it's like my sugar addiction is out of control and if it's around, I'll find it. I know that if I entirely cut out simple carbs, I really go nuts! I'm not a planner and that's a lot of my problem. I do have a good lean roast in the crockpot for today and that will be healthy with some potatoes and a veggie along with it. You have done sooo good and I admire you so much. Thank you for who you are! Hugs to you, Karen



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MENNOLY
3/31/2014 4:52:56 PM

Sorry about the double post my computer got a hiccup



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MENNOLY
3/31/2014 4:51:51 PM

Hi! I am sorry your daughter is so difficult. It's too bad that she can't go away to school. I think it really gives the kids a different perspective to have to work through relationships with someone who is not family and therefore is not obliged to love them whatever they say and do. I get that from my youngest. I am supposed to love her so she can treat us anyway she wants. I think it was an eyeopener for her last week when she saw how happy we were to leave her at college and go out and have fun without her.. She really does want to go away and be on her own but I guess in her head we need to stay home and miss her. DH and I are very ready to be empty nesters and start doing things which does not involve checking the calendar for what is on DD's activity schedule. Don't let her negativity get you down. You can be very successful and she has sour grapes.
It sounds like your weather is like ours from yesterday. Really unpleasant. Today we have a bright sunny and much warmer day but we have had so much rain that I can't do anything in the yard. When I walk across the grass it squishes. In the last 2 days we got more rain than the whole previous month.
I had a really good workout today. I lifted over 38000 pounds on my ST circuit. I have added another machine that does assisted pullups and dips. It is a totally different feeling from the other machines that exercise those muscles. I think it engages the core more as well. I am not very good at it. I have it on a setting that subtracts 108 pounds from my weight and can only do 5-6 reps before I have to stop. By the end of next month I hope to reach 10 reps and subtract 1 plate from my assist.
Have a good rest of the day!



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MENNOLY
3/31/2014 4:51:18 PM

Hi! I am sorry your daughter is so difficult. It's too bad that she can't go away to school. I think it really gives the kids a different perspective to have to work through relationships with someone who is not family and therefore is not obliged to love them whatever they say and do. I get that from my youngest. I am supposed to love her so she can treat us anyway she wants. I think it was an eyeopener for her last week when she saw how happy we were to leave her at college and go out and have fun without her.. She really does want to go away and be on her own but I guess in her head we need to stay home and miss her. DH and I are very ready to be empty nesters and start doing things which does not involve checking the calendar for what is on DD's activity schedule. Don't let her negativity get you down. You can be very successful and she has sour grapes.
It sounds like your weather is like ours from yesterday. Really unpleasant. Today we have a bright sunny and much warmer day but we have had so much rain that I can't do anything in the yard. When I walk across the grass it squishes. In the last 2 days we got more rain than the whole previous month.
I had a really good workout today. I lifted over 38000 pounds on my ST circuit. I have added another machine that does assisted pullups and dips. It is a totally different feeling from the other machines that exercise those muscles. I think it engages the core more as well. I am not very good at it. I have it on a setting that subtracts 108 pounds from my weight and can only do 5-6 reps before I have to stop. By the end of next month I hope to reach 10 reps and subtract 1 plate from my assist.
Have a good rest of the day!



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MENNOLY
3/30/2014 10:58:56 AM

Hi! I have been doing pretty well on my steps even though I am not forcing reaching 10000 each day. I exceeded 10000 steps 4 out of 7 days last week. O the 3 days I did not reach 10000 I exceeded 9000 once, 6000 yesterday and 5000 last Sunday. More importantly I did not feel exhausted all week. I am reasonably active but not killing myself. Today I am unlikely to reach very many steps since it will be raining all day again. Yesterday I got a lot of steps in because I did about an hour or 2 of spring cleaning. I took down my collection of depression glass vases, washed them and returned them to the high shelves in my sunroom. In order to reach those shelves I have to use a 4 foot step ladder so that was a lot of steps. I own in 34 vases so it was a fair bit of moving the ladder and going up and down. I then went to the mall to look at mother of the bride dresses. No luck there, since I want something pretty and styles to day are really ugly. I am thinking of going to Pennsylvania which has a bridal Nordstrum store. I haven't hit a bridal store yet except for David's bridal and I would like something a little better made since I see myself using the dress for years. So I don't want a lot of glitz but I do want something pretty and without a lot of horizontal lines. Why anyone would want to wear something with horizontal stitching or pleats really blows my mind. Especially when it is in larger sizes.
Today is a somewhat laid back day. I dropped DD2 off at dance this morning, we pick her up and go to noon mass. Then we drop her off at dance again right after mass. We go home and have lunch, she gets a bagged lunch. After we pick her up she finishes homework, we eat dinner and she and DH go to youth group. I get to do what ever I want, which will probably be finish my taxes so we can send off the returns tomorrow and be done with it.
We did enjoy the movie last night. I think I prefer to wait for a movie to come out and buy it so I can watch it at home. DH and I can then talk to each other and since we were curious about the history we were able to check things on the internet. If you haven't seen it I recommend it. I totally blew my calories yesterday. We were going to try a new Peruvian restaurant but when we went there it was so new it hadn't opened yet so we went to the Olive Garden instead. We had there 3 course meal special and that one meal exceeded my daily allowance. I am not too concerned it was one meal and we enjoyed it very much. I won't make my weight loss goal this month but I did lose 5 pounds which I will record on Tuesday. I also lost an inch in my waist and my fat jeans are looser. I am still 72 pounds below my high weight. One day at a time.
Have a great day today and I hope your team keeps winning.



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