Ferry to Falmouth, England, April 2007
Emma and Jacob Fall 2012
This motivates me to work out!! And it makes me smile :)
Shared Fitness Tracker
My name is Suzanne. I'm married and have 2 wonderful children - Emma, who is 5, and Jacob, who is 3.
I am so tired of just existing and not really living - all because I feel I'm too fat to really enjoy anything. I have been feeling so overwhelmed about the amount of weight I have to lose, and have finally realized that I need a new approach. From this point forward I am not going to worry about losing 69 pounds - for this week, I only need to worry about losing 1 or 2 pounds. Next week I will worry about another 1 or 2 pounds. And eventually I will get there.
I have struggled with weight issues all of my adult life. I was active and healthy as a kid and teenager, but because my parents and sister have always found it desirable to be very thin, I was always treated as the "fat one." I realize now, when I look back at pictures, that I was never overweight, but being told over and over again that I was fat made me believe it, and it eventually became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have lost 20 to 25 pounds several times with Sparkpeople and with Weight Watchers, but each time I have given up and gained back 25 to 30 pounds. I have now gained 50 pounds since getting married 10 years ago, and am 75 pounds heavier than when I first started trying to lose weight 25 years ago!
I am so tired of feeling physically uncomfortable because of my weight, and I need to get serious about getting to a healthy weight. I am tired of avoiding situations because I am embarrassed about how I look, and my kids shouldn't be told they can't do things just because I feel I am too fat to do them. I would love to take them swimming and climb on the playground equipment and run around with them and enjoy vacations with them without worrying about how fat I look.
To be entirely honest, I am really irritated that I have to do this, and am angry that I've let myself become this overweight and out of shape. I don't know why or when I quit caring about myself, but it's time to put myself first for a change. I know that this will not be easy, and it will be a long journey, but I don't care how long it takes - it's taken me more than a decade to gain all this weight, and may take a couple of years to take it off again. That's okay with me - I'd rather drop weight slowly and keep it off permanently than continue to gain as I've been doing. I will get there eventually, and will take my time on this journey to develop good habits and learn how to take care of myself again.
I look forward to sharing this journey with any of you who are interested in joining me along the way. We can do this one pound at a time!!
UPDATE FEBRUARY 2013
So here I am almost a year since writing my Sparkpage and I have made no progress at all. I just can't seem to get my butt in gear for some reason. Now, once again, Spring is just around the corner and I find my self thinking "Well crap!! Here comes summer and I'm still fat! This wasn't supposed to happen!"
So I have just rejoined the Lifetime Fitness near me and will start working with a dietician for awhile since eating is my most troublesome area. I have also joined the 90-Day Challenge for weight loss and have set an aggressive goal of 30 pounds in 90 days. I know that this is more than is recommended in that time frame, but I wanted a goal that would really make me push myself to reach it. I thought to myself "What if I worked harder than I ever have before?" I may not reach that goal, but I'm sure going to try. I am really determined to be the overall female winner at my club - I don't think I'm likely to win the overall competition nationwide (although $10,000 and a trip to Hawaii would be a nice prize!), but I believe I have a good shot at winning locally. I got a Fitbit for Christmas and LOVE this thing!! It really pushes me to get in as many steps as I can, and I'm finding that I've been walking twice as much as usual (amazing how much this motivates me to take off for a quick 10 or 15 minute walk several times a day). I also find that I can't pass the stairwell at work now without running up 4 flights and back down before continuing on my way. My first week of the challenge I have lost 3 pounds, and that's without really doing alot to change my eating (YET). Can't wait to see where I am after 90 days!
* Drink 72 ozs of H2O a day
*Exercise 5 days a week
* Limit sugar and processed foods and eat alot more veggies, along with some lean protein at each meal.
My short term goal is to lose as much as I can by May 11th, which will be the end of my 90-day challenge at Lifetime Fitness.
My next goal is to get down to 169lbs, which will take me out of the obese category for BMI and put me in the overweight category (woohoo).
My long term goal is to reach 140 lbs., which will be a healthy BMI. I'll see from there whether I want to lose a little more or focus on maintaining that weight.
OVERALL I'M JUST TAKING THIS ONE WEEK AT A TIME AND TRYING TO BE KIND TO MYSELF AND PATIENT WITH MY PROGRESS.
I am going to be working with a dietician at Lifetime Fitness to improve my eating habits. The focus will be on eating more veggies and lean protein, and reducing my intake of sugar and processed food.
I live in the St. Louis area, in Wildwood, MO.
My favorite movies are The Princess Bride, the Bourne movies, and A&E's Pride and Prejudice. I also love anything Bridget Jones - both the movies and the books!
I am also one of the MANY Downton Abbey fans!
I also love knitting...
| current weight: 198.6