I am headed to success and you're invited!!! Come with me because I don't work alone!
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I am finally happy, even with a lot of padding under my skin. I used to think, I would not, or could not be happy because I was not 120lbs anymore. This was a huge trial! I could not forgive myself for putting on the weight. Everyday I wanted the weight gone tomorrow. I knew it would never be. I tried all I could to eat right and excercise, but I was ...

I am headed to success and you're invited!!! Come with me because I don't work alone!
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I am finally happy, even with a lot of padding under my skin. I used to think, I would not, or could not be happy because I was not 120lbs anymore. This was a huge trial! I could not forgive myself for putting on the weight. Everyday I wanted the weight gone tomorrow. I knew it would never be. I tried all I could to eat right and excercise, but I was lost in negative lies. I could not find the way out, no matter how hard I prayed, or how hard I worked out. I hate to admit it, but I hated myself and I despised my body. Something that I now choose to view as a wonderful God given gift! How many days and nights, I spent with my pillow covered in tears trying not to cry, and not being able to control myself. I fed myself so much discouragement that food was actually the only positive thing I was putting into myself. No wonder why the cookies would call to me and I would go to great lengths to reach them.

This is not a story of sadness and depression which still comes as a surprise to me. But a story of triumph over tragedy, as I let go of negative lies that are no longer a part me. I was tempted and deceived. I was tested and tried! Now I feed myself positive thoughts that for the first time in many years speak truth and strength to my soul. I know my Heavenly Father loves me and I can feel it with a burn in my heart because I finally believe it this time. I almost lost hope in myself, but there were others that didn't. Accepting their love was hard because it was something I truly didn't believe I deserved. Oh, if there is someone out there who is searching for strength, then allow me shine my light for you.

I joined Sparkpeople originally as a requirement for a fitness challenge at our local college. This was not quite three months ago. I joined the challenge desperate to find success and willing to do all that it took. I have been on the road to losing weight for almost 18 years and that is 1/2 of my life now. I never gave up. And I still have a lot to lose! But I know what I need now. And I didn't know before. I am motivated by helping others. I am part of a weight loss team similar to The Biggest Loser. Our team has a Sparkpage. Supporting my friends on my team began to become the highlight of my day. I began a small Sparkteam with my friends and neighbors and ladies at church. I have focused my energy and thoughts towards them. I love them. I do not want anyone to suffer the way I have. They are full of goodness and I want them to succeed! I love my friends, and trainers on my college team as well. I love my siblings! I want to spark them with the spirit so that they to can achieve optimum health and happiness. For half of my life I lived in a type of inner darkness. I will no longer waste a single second of my precious life there. Thinking, that because of my weight I cannot achieve happiness or make a difference that was worthwhile in the life of someone else. I did not believe that my life had meaning, purpose, and direction. But now I have been shown, guided, and directed by a higher power, in which I will never deny. I have lost myself in the work of helping and fighting for all that is right and true, therefore I have found myself! Let me light the way for you!
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I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.--Anna Freud
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Some of my favorite words of inspiration from President Gordon B. Hinkley.

I have discovered that life is not a series of great heroic acts. Life at best is a matter if consistent goodness and decency, doing without fanfare that which needed to be done when it needed to be done. I have observed that it is not the geniuses that make the difference in this world. I have observed that the work of the world is done largely by men and women of ordinary talent who have worked in an extraordinary manner.

Never lose faith in your opportunity to lift those who are in need, to give strength to those who are weak, to give encouragement to those who falter by the way.
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The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of great controversy. --Martin Luther King Jr.

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