My new niece Madelyn
Me...close to my highest weight ever....224 lbs. The breaking point!
Me at the beginning of the DONE GIRLS SPRING INTOSUMMER CHALLENGE 3/20/09 UGH! 190.2
SN2B1HOTMAMA is a SparkPeople Motivator!
When my youngest son Nicholas was born on Easter...March 27, 2005. I was soooo happy. The following morning I tried to get up for my shower. My left leg from the knee down was still completely numb. I had to have help from my husband but it wasn't that bad. Then the next morning when it was time to go home my left leg was the same. Doctors came in and informed me that I was paralyzed. Probably due to my epidural and that I would never regain the feeling or use of my lower leg. I was then fitted with a plastic foot cast that would spring up to try and help me walk, handed my baby and sent home. So needless to say...I cried like a baby the night I brought my beautiful baby boy home. A depressed, distraught, hopeless ME had to be carried inside by my husband. Each night my dear, loving husband had to pack up everything I would need to feed and change the baby underneath the bassinet. It and my sleeping little man would be placed on my side of the bed. And each night I would wake up to feed him and cry in my depression and self pitty. I would stumble around trying to get into my own bathroom just to keep from waking him up. After all, someone had to work and take care of our family. And each day, my loving mother would come over and clean up behind my 5 membered family!
In the 6 months after that my life was a living hell. I put on 30 lbs and went to grueling shock therapy treatments with my physical therapist. All of this with my loving, supportive husband and parents by my side. My leg would swell up and my ankle would look like it was going to pop! My physical therapist wanted to give up but I refused to do so! Then my muscle began congealing and my leg was shrinking in size. It was horrible! My muscle was turning to jelly! I would sit and stare at my toes and try to make them move. Nothing would happen! It is a terrible feeling to think you are moving your body but it doesn't move!
I had drop foot too. The muscles that held my foot in an upright position no longer worked. So my foot would hang and drag if I didn't wear the brace. My husband was worried I was going to break the bones. It looked so painful but I couldn't feel a thing! My physical therapist was ready to give up and sign papers for me to no longer return. She said the recovery rate was slim to none. She hadn't seen anyone recover from it before. I cried and prayed and prayed. My little sweetheart was learning to scoot around on the floor and I couldn't imagine how I would chase him down when he began to walk. I continued to work my leg out at home trying to keep my muscle active with resistant straps.
On a monday morning just before my last physical therapy appointment I sat crying and trying to move my toes when I noticed it...MY BIG TOE MOVED! You could barely see it but it was moving. I called my mom who was on her way to get me for my appointment. We shouted and cried for an hour! With A LOT of hard work and months of more physical therapy I slowly regained the use of my foot. My upper calf muscle was still in bad shape though. I couldn't lift my leg very high. My foot and leg would feel like it was waking up after being asleep. You know, when it feels like a million ants stinging you? It would feel like that for hours after I would use it. The pain was horrible. My heal would throb for hours. I would stop in Wal-Mart from the pain while trying to get groceries. I would find an unused area and cry and try to pull myself together.
I made a promise to GOD on April 14th 2007. I promised him that if he gave me the use of my foot and leg back I would NEVER AGAIN TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. I would never again be lazy!
And guess what? I got my miracle! I started out walking down the power lines with my 14 year old son. I would trip and fall on roots and he would have to help me up. People driving by on the highway would stare at me limping and trying to walk. My calf muscle wouldn't lift my leg high enough to get over the roots. I would cry in shame and self pitty. Then with my son's help and encouragement I would carry on through my tears. Just to fall again. But after two months of this my son pointed out that I wasn't falling anymore. I was lifting my leg higher. And we had gone from taking 1 LOOONG hour to go the 2 miles there and back to 45 minutes. My leg would hurt soo badly at night but I carried on refusing to give up! The more I tried the more determined I became. My son suggested we start jogging. I was resistant at first claiming I couldn't handle it! But he would run ahead and say "You can't catch me!" So I would try. A little at first. But then more and more. Eventually we would walk from one power pole to the next, and then run from one to the next. Our time had cut down to 25 minutes there and back! The same people that had passed us each day in 5:00 traffic and stare were now honking there horns and smiling at us!!!
I can proudly say that as of December 2007 my leg and foot were completely healed! No more pain! My muscle is back to perfect health! I can outrun my little man who is about to be 3 next month! AND my BIG MAN...My TRE'...My hero... MY HEART! I can't outrun him...but I can sure keep up!
My new healthy lifestyle is truly a MIRACLE for me. It has changed me in SO many ways! I take my promises to God very seriously and I don't intend to give up EVER AGAIN!
The Old ME.....
The 225 lb miserable, out of shape, exhausted, low self-esteem, hopeless, depressed, "who am I?" woman I used to be!
How did I let myself become this person that I disliked so? And most importantly......how do I keep from going back? I MUST stay focused on my goal....I MUST remember how far I have come....I MUST remember that I am just as important to my family as they are to me.....and most of all I MUST NEVER GIVE UP ON MYSELF AGAIN!
I had looked at every diet ever made. Read self-help books. Even been hypnotised. I envied others who seemed to be in complete control of themselves and their lives. I've watched and studied the people in this world that I admire.....trying to unlock their secret to happiness. Trying to find some clue as to how they became so PERFECT! Trying to model myself after everyone that I see as "MASTER'S OF THEIR FATE AND DESTINY". How did they do it? Always looking at others.....when the answers are only to be found....... IN ME!
These people that I admire already know this secret.....you are what you let yourself be. YOU are in complete control of this moment...of your life.....of your happiness! YOU choose to smile...to frown...to laugh...to cry....to make the BEST or WORST of each and every moment that you have on this earth! To dwell on the negative or grab onto the positive side of each and everything that life throws your way! The answer to your problems is in YOU! Of course I believe that GOD plays a major roll in our lives as well.....but once again....blessings come or go depending upon the choices that YOU make!
I am the MASTER of my universe. No one else can decide what I WILL accomplish today but ME! What choices will I make? Again...completly within MY control! Do I complain about the heat...or feel the wonderful warmth of a beautiful sunny day on my skin? Do I complain about my screaming kids...or see the little blessings before me that God trusted ME enough to put in my care! Do I complain about loved ones needing soooooo much from me....or be glad that someone needs me at all? Do I run and play with my babies or do I sit and waste away on the couch?
So the question is will I waste another day being the old me? NO....never again. I have made a promise to myself....I will be happy....I will be healthy....I will do my best to shine God's love....mercy....and willingness to be a rock for others for the rest of my wonderful days!!!!!
What promises have you made to yourself?
with lots of love,
The New ME!
MySpace link: http://www.myspace.com/sn2b1hotmama
Done Girls Spring into summer challenge!
3/20/09 BEGINNING MEASUREMENTS:
WK 01-03/20/09: 190.2
WK 02-03/27/09: 186.8=03.4
WK 03-04/03/09: 186.2=04.0
WK 04-04/10/09: 183.0=06.2
WK 05-04/17/09: 181.6=08.6
WK 06-04/24/09: 179.6=10.6
WK 07-05/01/09: 178.6=11.6
WK 09-05/15/09: 178.0=12.2
WK 10-05/22/09: 178.0=12.2
WK 11-05/29/09: 179.2=11.0
I have come a long way but I am only half way there. I want my changes to be inside and out! This is my one and only GOAL. To be the best me I can be inside and out!
Learning to love myself no matter what my WEIGHT, first of all.
Eating healthy and exercising every day that I am able.
The first thing to realize is that you DO NOT HAVE TO STARVE to lose weight! There are so many things that you can change in your everyday food intake that can cut your calories by half the amount you eat right now. And the great thing is……most of it you won't even miss! Losing weight is all about the choices that you make throughout your day. If you make a few small adjustments you will be shocked at the results you will achieve! These small choices can be great tools for you to use! Once you get into the habit of making these healthy choices then it is very easy to maintain your weight loss as well! I will give you some examplesin a BLOG…but get creative with it! You will be surprised at how quickly you will catch on.
I am a 33 year old happily married christian mother of three living in Tallahassee, Florida. I am an artist with my own home business. check it out aspiringartistry.com
I LOVE a good LOVE STORY!
My HERO? SpongeBob SquarePants-I could only hope to be so blissfully happy, optimistic and ONLY see the Good in everyone I encounter.
My favorite Quote:
"I'm Ready, I'm Ready!"
| current weight: 167.4
Reading your story made me cry, you are amazing!
1927 days ago
Your story is exceptional and truly inspiration. You will be on my mind for very long. Lesson i learnt from your story grieving is part of the healing process not giving up!
1933 days ago
Oh what a wonderful story you tell! I have to admit it made me cry because it is so similar to one that my dear SIL tells. She lost the use of her leg after surgery for late stage ovarian cancer. Where at first it seemed that God had been so good to me after my surgery He had all but forgotten her when she had hers.
It took her wisdom and strength given to her by her walk with God, to teach me that there is always a purpose in His plans. She rejoices in the growing strength she has in her leg now and is currently working to ride in a road race to raise money for cancer.... if God will allow. Where once she was a runner, God is giving her strength to ride instead. We are to rejoice in each day that he gives us.
Thank-you for your refreshing message and the inspiration you are to each of us! (Indeed, we need to be more greatful for each day, don't we? They are truly a gift!)
1948 days ago
congratulations on becoming today's FM. You have done such a terrific job. I'm sure you're very proud of yourself, I'm proud of you.
1948 days ago
Wonderful to see you as THE MOTIVATOR OF THE DAY!!!
I loved your story. Reminded me of Jack LaLanne, (he passed away a couple of weeks ago at 96 & was still working out 2 hours every single day.) He was hit head-on while driving his corvette some years ago & the doctors told him that with his broken knees he'd never walk again. They came into his hospital room to find him doing "leg" exercises as he was determined that he would heal himself and he did. Just like you, he worked at it and didn't give up.
You're son born on Easter is a energy-full Aries, so do keep him in sports where he can use that Mars direction. The Aries boy wants to be like his Dad, so he is a daredevil and will jump before he thinks. He likes to "start" but gets bored and doesn't like to finish, so work on making him follow through and not turn over projects for "lesser" people to do for him. He's a natural leader, but he needs to learn self-discipline, so Karate is a good place for him.
1948 days ago