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this time!

20 years old, live in London, UK.

i'm very much an all or nothing person, and with my attitude to food this really has to change! in short, i was at my lowest weight last summer at 93lb, giving me a BMI of 18.7 (i'm 4"11) and even though that's a low number and i did look slim, i wasn't happy because it wasn't the body i wanted. i lost weight, yes, but i probably lost lots of muscle along the way too - because i did it so fast, unhealthily, obsessively and in a way that was ...
20 years old, live in London, UK.

i'm very much an all or nothing person, and with my attitude to food this really has to change! in short, i was at my lowest weight last summer at 93lb, giving me a BMI of 18.7 (i'm 4"11) and even though that's a low number and i did look slim, i wasn't happy because it wasn't the body i wanted. i lost weight, yes, but i probably lost lots of muscle along the way too - because i did it so fast, unhealthily, obsessively and in a way that was mentally wrong and damaging. it's still hard for me to fight with those voices that tell me 1000kcal is too much, or that i have to exercise to burn off everything i eat - because once i get in this "losing weight" frame of mind, it takes over my life and in fact just makes me gain weight again straight after!

so i have to keep these disordered thoughts at bay, but also lose weight healthily and build more muscle and have a body and lifestyle that i'm proud of.

just as a note, people have commented that my goal weight is extremely low, and i do realise that - i've set it as a goal that i would want to weigh if i had the same body composition as now. but i'm really hoping to weigh more than that and have more muscle, i'm not trying to emaciate myself i promise :)





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 current weight: 118.6 
 
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Member Since: 2/22/2007

SparkPoints: 0

Fitness Minutes: 195

My Goals:
to have more confidence,

to be happy.

to be proud of who i am, and not let anything hold me back.

My Program:
1000-1300 calories a day

40mins cardio a day

25-30 mins strength training:

- 400 arm lifts with band
- 150 leg curl crunches
- 150 twist crunches
- 50 bridge leg lifts

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Member Comments:
PESKIGIRL
6/26/2013 9:42:11 AM

Loved your brownie recipe!!! Since I'm also an all-or-nothing kinda gal, I will probably just keep it stored on my recipe book and not make it until I reach my goal weight -then I plan to be less of a maniac and a tad more relaxed towards food -still going to the gym regularly and all that.

So thanks again and hope we can be Spark Friends! emoticon



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MISSONIONS
1/17/2009 3:56:30 AM

My Gosh, your one serve brownie is the best, the most awesome, tasty thing I've tasted in ...ever! I put choc chips in and on mine, tweaked it for what I had on hand (natural yog and a bit of milk). The bad reviews...maybe they over mixed it or maybe they burnt it, but mine was JUST, EXACTLY like a brownie. You have saved my motivation. I am going to save some calories every day (I wish that was an exaggeration but it isn't) just for this!
I think I luf you lol



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JOHANINO
4/1/2008 1:30:09 PM

Welcome to EDA. Hope you find us supportive.

Jo
PS. I'm in Scotland. Good to have another british person on board. Hugs.



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SHYWIZARD
3/28/2008 10:49:04 PM

Hello and good luck from Corinth, MS
Deborah



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PIGLETSMALL
3/28/2008 3:56:26 PM

Thanks for popping by to say hi! It's always great to hear from you.

I've been on spark people for ages and keep putting off my workout. Gotta do it soon otherwise it'll be my bedtime. Time in England is 8pm! yikes.

love and hugs Helen xxx



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