Shared Food & Fitness Trackers
20 going on 21. Rising college senior at a challenging university. Still trying to "find myself" and grow up at the same time.
Prone to unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, and stress. Maybe a little too emotional.
Somehow in the past 5 years, my body - my face - my self has become an object of utmost scorn and hatred- models and actresses - actually, everyone but me- have become goddesses; and food has become not a blessing but a curse...a devil with manipulative powers beyond my imagination.
I'm trying to get myself out of varying bouts of anorexia/ mild bulimia / binge eating disorder.
I want to be happy and healthy again. I want to eat with other people. I want to stand up without feeling like fainting. I want to go a whole day without crying. I want to look in the mirror without cringing.
I want to wear other clothes besides black t- shirts. I want to be able to sleep again.
I don't want to spend my spare time fantasizing about binges that leave me doubled over in pain, puking my brains off, running until I want to cry, or abusing laxatives. I don't want to eat packs upon packs of sugar free soda, candy and gum to quell hunger pangs. I don't want to end every shopping trip crying secretly about how I make everything look ugly. I don't want to keep snapping at and withdrawing from the people closest to me. I don't want to put up of a front that everything is okay when it isn't.
At 5'9" and 132 lbs, I'm more unhappy with my body than I have ever been. I don't even remember how this started.
But I also know that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I will find a way out of this.
I will tone my pooch up the healthy way. I will eat healthy, spaced out food with no binges, no purges, no vlcds, no bouts of starvation, no punishing workouts. I will smile and laugh, and start to see life - my life - and myself as beautiful again.
5'9" 132 lbs to 120 lbs
Flattish abs, negligible lovehandles, and a less chubby face.
^ That might have been a little negative. Oops. I'll change it as I go along? ;)
BUT MOST IMPORTANT - self confidence and self love. Energy, decreased stress, more smiles.
1350 calories a day, the healthy way. 1400 calories a day is my BMR, so I will cycle to 1400 calories when I plateau/ feel cranky.
Toning up through dance videos / jogging / elliptical / yoga / pilates 5 - 6 days / week.
You can call me Amy.
I love to read, write, and sing.
I'm a chocolate - filled coconut. Figure that out if you can. I struggle with it everyday. :)
I adore romantic comedies, musicals, rpg video games like the Final Fantasy / Kingdom Hearts, anything Harry Potter, and anything Disney. Glee and Korean dramas are my current OBSESSIONS. They make my summers more eventful. Classy, I know.
I'm a bit of a loner - but I'm very outgoing once you get to know me. My inner dork / nerd shines through :)
I'm looking for a buddy, preferably in a similar confusing situation with food right now - for mutual encouragement / support / motivation? Please message me if you are interested!
Even if not, feel free to message me / sparkfriend me / post on my page. This site seems to have an amazing community, and I would love to get to know more people. I'll try my best to message / comment / friend back!
" I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes; I'm on the right track, baby; I was born this way"
"Strong is the new skinny"
| current weight: 132.0
Welcome to the EE team :) If you haven't already done so, be sure to stop by the team and introduce yourself. Let's get going!
1866 days ago