SHAREBEAR74   33,563
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It's Not The Size of the Dog In the Fight...

"I get knocked down, but I get up again"...Words to live by, my friends. Getting healthy is all about the journey, taking it one hour at a time, one workout at a time, one day at a time. We only learn how to run by first crawling, then dragging ourselves to our feet, then falling a million times before finally, we start walking by taking a few staggering steps forward. I used to expect perfection of myself when it came to eating healhty and exercising, and when I would inevitably fail, I ...
"I get knocked down, but I get up again"...Words to live by, my friends. Getting healthy is all about the journey, taking it one hour at a time, one workout at a time, one day at a time. We only learn how to run by first crawling, then dragging ourselves to our feet, then falling a million times before finally, we start walking by taking a few staggering steps forward. I used to expect perfection of myself when it came to eating healhty and exercising, and when I would inevitably fail, I would give up for weeks, months, sometimes years. Well, that girl is goooone, and this new girl really loves when life throws a challenge her way! This new girl laughs in depression and pain's faces, and scoffs at unexpected restaurant meals and everchanging schedule changes. This new girl is a fighter and she refuses to let life knock her down for very long! SO IT'S REALLY NOT THE SIZE OF THE DOG IN THE FIGHT, IT'S THE SIZE OF THE FIGHT IN THE DOG!




Most Recent Old Intro: This week I have started over. The past 18 months led me on a carnival ride of ups and downs; chronic pain, losing my job of 5+ years, divorce and a very deep depression that was so dark and so powerful, I feared for a long time that it was going to be the end of me. Then a day came when my depression was at it's greatest, my anxiety was at it's strongest and I felt I was literally standing at the cross-road of life and death.
I thank God for that day because that's the day I learned that I am stronger than I ever believed, and that when I am cornered, I will choose to fight, rather than to flee. I confronted Fear as the pathetic bully it really is and stomped it into the ground! For the first time in my life I was able to truly stand up to my abusive family(father, sisters, brother-in-law) and permanently kick them out of my life. They will never abuse me emotionally, physically, or sexually(brother-in-law) again, and I'm no longer ashamed to talk about what they did to me; I know now that I was an innocent child who deserved to be cherished and protected, not cursed at, slapped around and molested!
Once I stood up and faced Fear, all of my depression, and most of my anxiety went away. Now I'm back on track and treating my body, mind and soul with the respect they deserve!




(Old Intro)
I started my journey on April 1, 2008. At 5'9", I had reached my largest pant size ever, a size 18, larger even than my biggest pregnancy dress size back in 1992, and weighed in at my heaviest weight ever of 211 pounds. I was embarrassed to be seen in shorts in public, embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit, so I had stopped going to the pool with my kids, embarrassed and depressed over my appearance in general. I had stopped LIVING and was merely coasting through my life, hiding out in the scrubs I wore as a nurse and in elastic waist exercise pants everywhere else.

Every morning when I woke up, I would think to myself, "I can't stand this! I can't go on like this! I have got to lose this weight!". But every morning I would go downstairs and eat a package of S'mores poptarts, and usually finish off a box of 8 before the day was done, plus eat whatever else I wanted; candy bars, cupcakes, reese cups. I never exercised. I always wanted to be dropped off at the door if my husband was driving. I used drive-thrus for most of my errands; banking, dropping off mail, pharmacy trips...I never wanted to do anything outdoorsy because my body was weak and I tired easily and sweated constantly, even in the winter.

I was deeply depressed and used food as my anti-depressant of choice. Because food will never reject you or make cruel comments, food will never scream at you or hit you, food will never turn it's back on you and abandon you when you need it. Because all of these things had happened to me at some point in my life, and my childhood had been full of abuse, fear and pain. I didn't want to live in the past and tried to forget the bad things that had happened to me, but there was just SO MUCH to forget, that sometimes it overwhelmed me and I would curl into a ball and stuff my face because while I was eating, nothing bothered me and no bad memory could seep through my sugary and carb-loaded shield. But I knew that I was only fooling myself in thinking that overeating was a safety net, because in reality, it was killing me slowly, one bite at a time.

Well, reaching my biggest pant size ever woke me up in a BIG way. It was the tap on the shoulder that motivated me into changing my lifestyle. I applied for a spot in a local Biggest Loser type program called The Weight Is Over(TWIO) and was chosen for a spot. I attended Tuesday night meetings of TWIO and learned so much about healthy living! I started eating better, more nutritional foods. I started MOVING! I used the gym membership that came with TWIO and tried my first spinning class on April 3, 2008. I pedaled for the entire hour long class, although I couldn't stand up and pedal for more than a second or two at a time.

I joined Sparkpeople and read every scrap of information they sent me and started keeping a written food/exercise journal. I made lifelong friends through TWIO and finally accepted the fact that HEALTH IS A JOURNEY, NOT A RACE!

From April 1, 2008, to December 2, 2008, I have lost over 35 pounds and have gone from a size 18 to a size 8! I walk with my dog, Shiloh, 2-3 times a day, or use the treadmill I got as an early Christmas present in 2008 when the weather is bad. Shiloh has learned to walk and jog without a leash on the treadmill! I've started jogging on the treadmill and can now consistenly run 2 miles, with a short walk in between. I park my car farther away from the door and use drive-thrus less frequenty. 9 times out of 10, I'm the one asking my family if they want to go for a Walk, go Bowling, go MOVE! I'm now able to keep up with the Spinning instructor and that is the best feeling! And I love, love, love my Kickboxing Class!

I haven't reached my goal of 153 pounds/size 6 yet, but I'm well on my way. I've chosen the motto; "GETTING FINE IN 2009" for my new title. I will be 35 on Feb. 22, 2009, and I want to lose my bulgy little belly and tone up everywhere. I'm making my 30's way better than my 20's ever were!
Read More About SHAREBEAR74 (Updated February 21)




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Member Since: 4/2/2008

SparkPoints: 33,563

Fitness Minutes: 18,805

My Goals:
10-01-11; today I weight 192.4; my goal is to weigh between 182-169 by Jan. 1, 2012, by sticking to my Weight Watchers Points Plus system and working out for a minimum of 3 Hours a week(a mix of Cardio and Weight Training).

My Program:
I don't have time for my Weight Watchers meetings in person any more, due to a hectic work schedule, so I follow the Points Plus System at home every day(this is why I haven't tracked my food on Sparkpeople for a while; but I DO keep track of everything I put in my mouth).
As of Oct. 1, 2011, I just finished Week 7 of Chalean Extreme(a 16 week program). My work schedule is NUTS and I never have a set time to leave, so I try to get my workout in BEFORE work, and aim for a minimum of 4 out of 5 days of Chalean Extreme each week.

Personal Information:
Northeast Ohio

Other Information:
Favorite Shows:

1. Biggest Loser
2. Ruby
3. What Not To Wear
4. Damages
5. Walking Dead
6. HawthoRNe
7. Any weight loss show

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Member Comments:
NEVERORNOW
2/22/2014 2:02:52 PM

emoticon emoticon emoticon Happy birthday, Done Girl!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon



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EDUCGRAD
3/23/2013 6:26:53 PM

Have a great weekend,hope you are doing well



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JIBBIE49
3/1/2013 4:32:27 PM

emoticon Happy BELATED Birthday, DONE GIRL


Those born on the Aquarius-Pisces cusp are sensitive. They are more open to their personal space and universal space than they are to worldly concerns. They spend time digging within themselves for better understanding. Managing day to day life may be more challenging for them because it is hard for them to focus on these mundane things.
Aquarius-Pisces wants experiences, but it is difficult for them to remain objective. Because of their ultra-sensitivity, this can be a difficult balance for them to achieve. For the best results, they need to put themselves out there and not hide away. They need to learn to feel more comfortable in this world.
Aquarius-Pisces is compassionate, imaginative and sympathetic to others. They set goals, but they may procrastinate or be so disorganized that they create their own obstacles. They may be eccentric and offbeat, but they are definitely original. They are often multi-talented and feel the need to change the world. This may be difficult since they can be painfully shy. They are sometimes blessed with incredible musical abilities.
Aquarius-Pisces likes to socialize. Being with others helps them relieve stress and anxiety. They love water activities. They are flirtatious and romantic, and they genuinely care for others. Their compassion is all-encompassing. They have a unique angle on the world that others just don't see.
Aquarius-Pisces is a natural psychic. If they don't get support for this at an early age, they will shut it down and pretend it doesn't exist. It may be difficult for them to open up to others once they realize they see things differently because they don't want to be ridiculed.
The Cusp of Sensitivity is known for tolerance, sensitivity, uniqueness, talent, artistic merit, emotions, practicality, dreaming, sensuality, idealism, flirtatiousness, pride, loyalty, romance, compassion, sympathy and imagination. They may also be pessimistic, hyper-sensitive, moody, secretive, impatient, stubborn, aloof, cold and quarrelsome.
Some would call Aquarius-Pisces cusp a bit peculiar. They like luxury, and this desire may keep them in the day to day world enough to keep their business obligations. Their kind nature can make them overbook their time, trying to oblige everyone; then when they forget an engagement, they let people down. While they can exaggerate their accomplishments, they often decline telling about their failures or troubles. They love their freedom, and their dreaminess can lead to spiritual depth and insight. They may be responsible for amazing creative works. People are attracted to them, and in well balanced circumstances, they enjoy travel as well as delving into science or religion.



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NIXY72
2/27/2013 8:54:52 AM

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Happy Belated Birthday! May this year be the year that all of your wildest dreams come true!

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SHELLE13
2/26/2013 1:54:47 AM

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Happy Belated Birthday, Done Girl!
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