My Christmas present - A Nirve Cruiser 2010
Lose the 30 pounds I have gained & keep it off
De-clutter my house & life
Exercise or Activity 7 days/week
It is time that I finally updated this and started new goals for myself. I would like to say that I am this awesome person that has lost all of this weight and kept it off for years, but I am not. I am that average rural farmgirl that comes from a line of thunder thighs. I grew up fearing that I would lead the same path as the ones before me....so much, that I got a degree in Exercise. I was active, in sports, and totally self-conscious....but, I still gained. I am a happy eater, a sad eater, a bored eater & a mad eater. I feel like I am on an ever constant yo-yo. By the time I had lost weight & was maintaining, so much so that I thought I had the whole weight loss maintenance phase figured out, a physical injury happened. I lost loved ones (6 in 4 years). Included in that was one of my best friends, my grandma. I have went through the hell of Infertility with no positive result. 2012 was not easy year for me....Nursing school while working full-time as a Paramedic, Lyme's Disease which took several months to finally diagnose so it could be treated, & finally being able to start grieving my losses (deaths & Infertility) within myself took it out of me. Depression can be a monster...it is a non-ending battle within yourself. I have struggled and fought to be happy, to not be mad, to not feel like I have been cheated in this life for a few years now. It's this internal sadness & fear that has consumed me for the last few years. I fight an every day battle to be a good person, to be happy. I have much to be happy for....a loving husband, an awesome and healthy child (who I believe will not have to ever worry about his weight), a wonderful family, I'm mostly healthy, & I have a career. Everyone fights their own war, and many on here would understand my struggles. I write this for myself. For that day when I need to go back and reflect. I know what it feels like to truly be happy.....i am just trying to find my happy once again. I know what it feels like to have endorphins running through your body after a kick-butt workout....and I want that once again. These words are for myself....& if it helps someone else out in the process, than that is awesome.
A quote that helps me :
"Our Deepest Fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people persmission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!"
Half-Marathons that I have done in the past....I hope to do more one day if my knee can take it:
Little Rock March 2010 2 hrs 43 min
Wichita October 2010 3 hrs 4 min (jog/walk with a friend)
OKC May 2011 (Pouring rain the whole time) 2 hrs 53 min
"Being overweight and unhealthy is HARD. Losing weight and getting healthy is HARD. Pick your HARD."
My ultimate long-term goal would be to be a positive influence on someone else's life. To be a good role model to my son. To be happy & healthy!
Put me in a gym and I'll exercise. Put sneakers on me & I'll run. But....put Mcdonalds in front of me and I'll say "what gym". I'm a food lover & that is my downfall. I'm trying to find that right fit for me to go the rest of this beautiful life!
I am a Kansas girl! Have lived here all my life! I'm a Paramedic & an RN. I am married to a wonderful guy & have this amazing 13 year old!
"I'm not where I need to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be. I'm okay & I'm on my way!"
| Pounds lost: 6.4