| |
Lilith, Goddess of Wisdom, my patron
I have 46 pics in my gallery
Awards
|
|
Ciara’s Commitment Corner
There seems to for me always be some new always be some new wall for me to bust my way through or climb over or go around. I am very weary but I am not giving up, giving up equals dying and there is still too much I want to see and do.
For whatever reason, my brain chemistry is such that clinical severe depression is part of my reality, yet none of the current antidepressants on the market work on my body except Lithium, which I refuse to use because of the side effects. And what ...
There seems to for me always be some new always be some new wall for me to bust my way through or climb over or go around. I am very weary but I am not giving up, giving up equals dying and there is still too much I want to see and do.
For whatever reason, my brain chemistry is such that clinical severe depression is part of my reality, yet none of the current antidepressants on the market work on my body except Lithium, which I refuse to use because of the side effects. And what is the point of having the life if I am a zombie and cannot enjoy it? So, I have no answers where this leaves me as to how to treat my depression and how to get past or through or around it to work on get my body to a normal size. I am committed to getting it to a normal size, so I will have to figure it.
I think if I can figure out how to stay up mentally my motivation will stay constant, because when I feel well I truly enjoy exercising, cooking, eating right, do what is needed to get to the point where I am healthy physically.
I know that my life will not magickally change when I lose weight, that what is missing from it will still be missing from it, if I do not work to fill in the holes. So, I need to figure out how to motivate myself to fill the holes, to develop a life the has something in it besides my struggle to survive.
I am committed to controlling my depression, I am committed to fixing my health, and I am committed to getting a life.
I am tired of making promises to myself and other people that I will do this, that or the other within a certain amount of time, because I don’t and then I feel worse about myself and like I lied to my friends and family. I am going to promise not to quit.
Blessings,
Ciara
SparkFriends
SparkTeams
|
My Ticker:
| current weight: 317.6 |
 |
|
|
|
Interact with SCARLETMOONOWL
|
Recent Blogs:
| |
Profile
Member Since: 7/9/2010
SparkPoints: 3,112
Fitness Minutes: 1,769
My Goals:
To live each and every day in love. Love of others. Love of the Earth. Love of what I have been given. And love of myself.
To accept with grace what challenges come my way and remember that while things may change, no thing perishes. Good can and will enter my life, just as bad can and will enter and leave it.
My Program:
To embrace fully all that I am and rejoice in it.
To celebrate both my strengths and my weaknesses.
To rest when I need it, to play when I want to, and to always love myself enough to do what needs doing to be healthy.
Exercise 6 days a week, this means movement beyond the usual. Try for a walk outside 6 days a week.
Spend time working with my inner being everyday.
Personal Information:
I am an eclectic, elemental solitary Witch. My primary gift is working with displace entities (ghosts). I am hereditary, though no one in my family admits to there gifts but me.
I am a bit of a gypsy, what I am makes it hard to stay in anyone place for too long. I am also agoraphobic, go figure. I have lived everywhere at one time or another, right now I am in Colorado. I am waiting for my first winter.
If you have questions, or need help, please just Spark me.
Other Information:
I love all things ghost, vampire, lycanthrope, and arcane. I am into ancient history, languages, magick, powders, oils, caims, herbs. My favorite books are the LKH Anita Blake books, Twilight, Haunted, Dracula, Maggie Shayne vampire series. Favorite movies are Twilight, Dracula 2000, Haunted, A Haunting, Hostel II, Sherlock Holmes(2009), Queen of the Damned, The Blade Series, Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, Final Destination, Legion, Rose Red, IT, etc. Music, I like nature to metal, just no twangy country.
Profile Image
|
|
|
Happy Valentines Day!