Me in pink. I am so huge!
Just think...I was so happy I could fit into these shorts, again. I was feeling thin!
October 12, 2015. Here I am again, back at 210 pounds. I don't know why I get so upset with tracking and drinking water. In my mind somewhere I believe that normal people don't have to do this. I have a hard time accepting the fact that I am not normal when it comes to food. There are people around me who have no difficulty whatsoever using food as fuel, and being able to control their portions. I am not one of them. I keep coming back, because this site helps me track my goals.
January 30, 2015... Well, not to boast too much, but I passed my old weight and got up to 203.5 before conceding that not tracking my food is a weight gaining phenomenon. So now I need to lose fat just to get to the weight I was when I re-set my ticker! so, I gained back the weight I had lost before the holidays hit, and I must have enjoyed them very much, since I really packed on the pounds once more. I must say, I have a really good metabolism because I can burn off the fat if I focus. Of course, I fatten up faster than I slim down. I am so glad I am a part of this community that will inspire me to find the inner desire and drive to achieve my goal of healthy choices, and be able to tie my shoelaces with ease. My next goal is to be able to cross my legs. It feels good to have a few simple goals, rather than a huge glob of a goal to lose fifty pounds, again. I don''t want to lose anything, because I am proving very proficient at finding that which I have lost.
Oct 12, 2014.... Two months till the holidays, and I am back to where I had started! 201.4... Again! It takes more than hoping, and more than doing something tomorrow. I am so not perfect, but I am not giving up on me, and I have a vision of walking into my closet, and being able to wear everything in there. A new vision, and a new goal. Count my blessings, not my pounds.
Feb. 28, 2014. Two months past the holidays, and I am still gaining and losing the same three pounds. I will commit myself to health and weight loss. This weight has got to come off, and I am determined to do so. I will log, every day. I will keep my goal visible by making it a monthly goal rather than a years end goal. I will stand up for myself, and my wishes.
I will work on my inner voices that cave at the drop of a hat. I will learn dialogue that enhances and encourages from within. I will learn to be my own warrior.
Dec. 6, 2013. I can''''t believe I started my road to recovery during the holidays! All of the food and drinks and indulgences! What was I thinking? I was thinking that it was time to commit to myself. Last Holiday Season I got derailed from my life of health, and I had been wandering through the SP Blogs seeking the way back to my earlier commitment . There is some poetic justice that I found my spark in the season in which I had lost it. Only, this season, I am not the same person I was last year. I have better tools and ideas, coming from my fellow sparkers, and I am not alone in the holiday shred of 2013... Countdown to New Years 2014.
Nov. 29, 2013. I am starting a New Trend for myself. I am no longer carrying guilt and I will stop myself each time I mentally downplay my life and progress. I am no longer going to apologize when I lose weight faster than my friends, nor join them when they start packing on the pounds.
This is my life. I will enjoy it to the fullest. I will lose weight, again. I am pretty good at it.
I will deal with issues as they arise, as I have finally accepted the fact that weight is an outer manifestation of inner problems. Thank goodness I am finally willing to stop my diet mentality and start my lifestyle changes, for life and health. The happiness is now, not after I lose weight.
I am dusting myself off, picking up my sword, and walking on to my victory . Again. I will do it again, and again, and again. I will get my encouragement from my fellow sparkers , as usual. Fall down six, get up seven. I am getting back up.
I am not doing this perfectly, and I am up and down each day!
I will not give up. I will not stop trying. I will be kind. I will be healthy. I will be gentle as I learn the nuances of weight loss and maintenance , rather than the old yo-yo habits of yore. Joyfully getting back on track, thankful for the new chance each day.
Feel comfortable in my clothes.
Lose Weight, Hide from Sparks people, gain weight, Come back to Sparks People, lose weight, Think I can do it by myself, gain weight, come back to Sparks People..... Start all over again.
Secrets of Success
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| current weight: 210.0