SATINEE1   388
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THE NEXT CHAPTER

I have been in a daze for some years now. I kept looking back at all the little things in my life that keep me from reaching my goal.

I had this feeling inside that did not allow me to put myself first. I always considered other people's feelings over mine to the point that I neglected myself. Most of the people in my life that I put before myself will never do the same for me. As a matter of fact, I look at one very selfish person in my life whereas it was always about them. ...
I have been in a daze for some years now. I kept looking back at all the little things in my life that keep me from reaching my goal.

I had this feeling inside that did not allow me to put myself first. I always considered other people's feelings over mine to the point that I neglected myself. Most of the people in my life that I put before myself will never do the same for me. As a matter of fact, I look at one very selfish person in my life whereas it was always about them. To this day, it is still about them and I gave them more consideration then they were worth. I don't know where the self loathing came from, but it was instilled in me somewhere in childhood. I just never felt good enough. Even when people thought that I was beautiful and perfect, I always found something wrong with myself. I still heard the voice in the back of my mind saying "you're backwards, your dumb" even when I excelled.

I have decided to close that chapter of my life and continue on to my next chapter. The new person without all the baggage. I had to decide to take the time to nurture myself and not just everyone else. I had to take a deep look inside and decide I was worth taking out time on; spending money on; and taking care of. I am on to the NEXT CHAPTER of my life. In this Chapter, I will love myself enough to put me first.
Read More About SATINEE1 (Updated August 5)




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Member Since: 2/17/2012

SparkPoints: 388

Fitness Minutes: 530

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Member Comments:
MELTNSUE
4/29/2012 9:09:51 PM

Hi Leigh! How are things going with you? Let me know if I can help in any way emoticon



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