ROSALIEESTHER   96,534
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That's me on the left in 2007. Boy have I changed. I'm hoping to get back to that some day . . .





Long ago (2007) I was thin and fit and it felt so good.Hope seeing this helps me get back in shape.








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This Is It!

I woke up one morning and I was fat!!!! How could that have happened? It was terrifying. I was Twice the weight that I'm supposed to be!!! Almost equally awful was realizing that I was so completely without a clue. Scary.

It's so embarrassing. I was in such incredibly great shape 3 years ago, but as my mother's health went down, my weight went up.

I am married to a wonderful man - we've been together for 29 years. We still are crazy in love with one another. ...
I woke up one morning and I was fat!!!! How could that have happened? It was terrifying. I was Twice the weight that I'm supposed to be!!! Almost equally awful was realizing that I was so completely without a clue. Scary.

It's so embarrassing. I was in such incredibly great shape 3 years ago, but as my mother's health went down, my weight went up.

I am married to a wonderful man - we've been together for 29 years. We still are crazy in love with one another. We couldn't have kids, but we've had a lot of cats. Right now we just have one who was about 8 years old when she moved in. We're still in the bonding stage and getting closer every day.

In 2009 my mother died in terrible pain. It was the most horrific experience of my life. My sister and I could tell that the medical establishment just didn't want to try to help her because she was old in their opinion. She was 89 and more vital and alive than anyone else I've ever known. She was not ready to sure and could have ben helped. I miss my mother and my father and feel that a huge part of me is gone for good now. But the way my mother died, and our inability to help her haunts me. I've had some wonderful therapy inthe form of EMDR. I urge anyone suffering from PTSD to get EMDR Many therapists are qualified now because it is so successful with returning vets. Also Sparkpeople has helped me come back to feeling that I have a reason to go on. I've been amazed by how much support this site gives.

My husband and I moved from California to Illinois to live in my parents' house for a while as we sift through the many wonderful things they left for my sister and me. They were very rare, creative, and productive people. I feel close to them here. I learn from them ever day. I am so lucky to have so many reminders of thm: philosophical cartoons/paintings by my father (he told me one that he did one every day as a form of meditation), letters, research, books and collections. It's a lot of work to go through these things. We take our time.

I know that grief caused my huge and sudden weight gain.

I am so very lucky. I am surrounded with love. I want to get in touch with my happiness my true self as I journey to my true weight.
Read More About ROSALIEESTHER (Updated February 11)




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Member Since: 6/8/2011

SparkPoints: 96,534

Fitness Minutes: 61,712

My Goals:
Just saw this quote by Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe, the star of Precious (2009) and I'd like to feel this way about myself:

"I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don't like myself, there's no reason to even live the life. I love the way I look. I'm fine with it. And if my body changes, I'll be fine with that."

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Member Comments:
DS9KIE
7/4/2014 9:47:13 PM

have great 4th of July

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DS9KIE
7/4/2014 7:57:48 PM

Thanks for the nice comment on my blog. Let me know if you make a clean the frig. recipe and what you used.

Have a great day. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon



Comment edited on: 7/4/2014 9:51:30 PM

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BLESSEDBEING
6/22/2014 1:52:30 PM

emoticon for commenting on my feed, dear friend! I've been pretty inner focused, & caught up with the whole job search, and not staying up with my peeps. emoticon
I really want to reconnect, and appreciate your support!! emoticon
Wishing you every single good thing there is! emoticon
Blessed Be, Amanda emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/22/2014 1:54:12 PM

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ERIN1957
6/18/2014 6:30:01 PM

Thanks, I normally wouldn't be home but it is to hot to go outside today.
I love having the time to catch up and as well read online. I am reducing my teams here soon. NOT HH, but a few others. I want to keep it simple and spend more time on the ones I want to. What is that old saying ...A Jack of all trades and a master of none. I am so vegan and as well so low fat, no need to hang onto anything else.
Thank you my dear friend for seeing what other people refuse to...in so many ways. emoticon emoticon emoticon



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DS9KIE
6/18/2014 5:33:24 PM

It started with Engine 2 from the library then Eat to live, i didn't really know about Dr. McDougall cause the library didn't have those books expect a recipe (that I now own)

so now I have one foot With Dr. Fuhrman and one foot with Dr. McDougall I end up eating more sweet potatoes...yum

Its funny I was on that Low fat vegan team thinking it was low fat not all fruit...the thought of eating eight bananas and 10 oranges, ect for a meal just didn't set well with me...I mean what is the matter all the veggies...and I was just kidding myself if I was going raw all fruit or not (hey I like pizza and spaghetti what can I say) But hey the team was fun when you were there..talking about all the bananas you bought....lol



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