ROSALIEESTHER   99,715
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That's me on the left in 2007. Boy have I changed. I'm hoping to get back to that some day . . .





Long ago (2007) I was thin and fit and it felt so good.Hope seeing this helps me get back in shape.








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This Is It!

I woke up one morning and I was fat!!!! How could that have happened? It was terrifying. I was Twice the weight that I'm supposed to be!!! Almost equally awful was realizing that I was so completely without a clue. Scary.

It's so embarrassing. I was in such incredibly great shape 3 years ago, but as my mother's health went down, my weight went up.

I am married to a wonderful man - we've been together for 29 years. We still are crazy in love with one another. ...
I woke up one morning and I was fat!!!! How could that have happened? It was terrifying. I was Twice the weight that I'm supposed to be!!! Almost equally awful was realizing that I was so completely without a clue. Scary.

It's so embarrassing. I was in such incredibly great shape 3 years ago, but as my mother's health went down, my weight went up.

I am married to a wonderful man - we've been together for 29 years. We still are crazy in love with one another. We couldn't have kids, but we've had a lot of cats. Right now we just have one who was about 8 years old when she moved in. We're still in the bonding stage and getting closer every day.

In 2009 my mother died in terrible pain. It was the most horrific experience of my life. My sister and I could tell that the medical establishment just didn't want to try to help her because she was old in their opinion. She was 89 and more vital and alive than anyone else I've ever known. She was not ready to sure and could have ben helped. I miss my mother and my father and feel that a huge part of me is gone for good now. But the way my mother died, and our inability to help her haunts me. I've had some wonderful therapy inthe form of EMDR. I urge anyone suffering from PTSD to get EMDR Many therapists are qualified now because it is so successful with returning vets. Also Sparkpeople has helped me come back to feeling that I have a reason to go on. I've been amazed by how much support this site gives.

My husband and I moved from California to Illinois to live in my parents' house for a while as we sift through the many wonderful things they left for my sister and me. They were very rare, creative, and productive people. I feel close to them here. I learn from them ever day. I am so lucky to have so many reminders of thm: philosophical cartoons/paintings by my father (he told me one that he did one every day as a form of meditation), letters, research, books and collections. It's a lot of work to go through these things. We take our time.

I know that grief caused my huge and sudden weight gain.

I am so very lucky. I am surrounded with love. I want to get in touch with my happiness my true self as I journey to my true weight.
Read More About ROSALIEESTHER (Updated February 11)




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Member Since: 6/8/2011

SparkPoints: 99,715

Fitness Minutes: 65,087

My Goals:
Just saw this quote by Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe, the star of Precious (2009) and I'd like to feel this way about myself:

"I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don't like myself, there's no reason to even live the life. I love the way I look. I'm fine with it. And if my body changes, I'll be fine with that."

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Member Comments:
JAMBABY0
7/27/2014 3:43:56 PM

thanks for commenting



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MORTICIAADDAMS
7/26/2014 10:08:32 PM

Where do you find the right information on them? I love fruits and vegetables but can't eat a lot of starches as they are high on the glycemic load. The page I went to had pasta on it and it's one of the worst triggers for my blood sugar. I can't eat bread either and have celiac disease so I can't eat barley, rye, wheat. I can have legumes on my diet in addition to almost all fruits and veggies.



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MORTICIAADDAMS
7/25/2014 9:15:30 PM

I really couldn't fine out much about their programs. When I googled them both I went to pages where they were selling treatments and processed foods. I try to avoid processed foods. I don't consider them healthy.



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COSMICWATCHER
7/25/2014 10:59:11 AM

you're very welcome!
and of course i don't mind; in fact, i'd urge you to share the links with as many teams as possible. we're all together is this!
Have fun and veg on! emoticon



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PETALIA
7/24/2014 4:35:24 PM

Have you read Benjamin Lorr's, "Hell-Bent"? I found it gripping. I couldn't put it down. Amongst many things surrounding Bikram, I learned about his grueling teacher training courses. You survived that. After intense yoga practice for long hours in the day, you said in the salt thread, that you often needed to be up until 3 am. Wow. You are a warrior. Benjamin Lorr's book describes a lot of complexity in the Bikram world. This was a kind of yoga that he had immense passion for, that changed his life, and that, at the same time, the man Bikram Choudhury was also found to be highly controversial. I don't know how this book is seen inside the Bikram Yoga world but I was highly impressed. I'm also in awe that you completed his teacher training course. Kudos!



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