RD2SHOES   1,551
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scared to fail....again!

I'm 37 going on 38, feeling like I'm already done. During my adult years I have gained and lost over a 1000lbs. I'm scared to try again and Im scared not to. I spent my teens hating my ballet toned body. I spend my twenties avoiding life and feeling worthless. I was determined not to turn 30 and be fat and in 6 months i lost 85lbs...by pretty much starving myself. 15lbs before I reached my goal of 135lbs I got pregnant had my second child and 9 months later was pregnant again...120lbs ...
I'm 37 going on 38, feeling like I'm already done. During my adult years I have gained and lost over a 1000lbs. I'm scared to try again and Im scared not to. I spent my teens hating my ballet toned body. I spend my twenties avoiding life and feeling worthless. I was determined not to turn 30 and be fat and in 6 months i lost 85lbs...by pretty much starving myself. 15lbs before I reached my goal of 135lbs I got pregnant had my second child and 9 months later was pregnant again...120lbs bigger and feeling like a failure. My kids are now 16, 7 and 5. I just gained 20lbs in the past 3months and am at 200lbs again. I want to change my weight but also I am so sick of waiting till I'm "skinny" to enjoy life, I want to like myself and not just because "I'm losing weight.
Read More About RD2SHOES (Updated April 2)




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Member Since: 2/27/2013

SparkPoints: 1,551

Fitness Minutes: 1,212

My Goals:
- change my relationship with food
- have a healthy body, mind and body image
- lose 55lbs
- maintain any weightloss
- to like and appreciate
myself
- to run a marathon
- to stop binge eatting
- to start living my life



My Program:
Food
- plan and record food
- 3 meals, 2 snacks a day
- drink more water
- reduce salt, sugar, coffee
- eat raw whole fruit/veg

Exercise
- walk everyday
- start a running program
- join some classes
- keep trying new things



Personal Information:
I'm a almost 38 year old Canadian mother of 3, (16,7,& 5)! I've been engaged for over three years to the, pardon the cliché, love of my life! I can say that there are many reasons we are not married yet but really there is one reason...my weight or how I feel about myself at this weight...ugly, worthless at times and not worthy of this man that loves me. I know these thought are not logical, healthy or true...so my biggest challenge is to change my thoughts and attitude towards myself.

 
 



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Member Comments:
LOFLLAMA
12/27/2013 5:17:14 AM

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Let's make 2014 the best year yet! This is going to be the year I BECOME who I am supposed to be! Will you join me?
Love Ya!
Lisa
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LOFLLAMA
6/25/2013 10:14:09 AM

May you be blessed with...

-:¦:-
♥¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.•´ . ♥´¨¨))
((¸¸.•´ .. ♥´ JOY-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´*-:¦:-
((¸¸.♥´ ..•´ LOVE-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´*-:¦:-
((¸¸.•´ .. ♥´ PEACE-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´* &
((¸¸.•´ .. ♥´ WEIGHT MAINTENANCE! :)¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´*




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LOFLLAMA
5/7/2013 11:43:18 PM

Thank you for adding me as a friend. I'm here for you so if you need anything, please reach out.
Blessings!
Lisa



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LOFLLAMA
5/6/2013 12:10:56 PM

Enjoy the journey!



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SUSAN-IS-WORTHY
3/27/2013 10:12:00 PM

Hello fellow Sparker! Hope your week is going well!!!



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