My stress is in my head. I put it there, I keep it there, I keep stirring it like a boiling pot, until I'm exhausted and ready to explode.

"The Wisdom of Insecurity" by Alan W. Watts has been an impactful book in my life.

There is wisdom in insecurity, hence the name of the book. Why waste your day worrying about either the past or the future, when everything is okay in the exact moment and place you are in right now. Everything that you worry about can boil down to a ...

My stress is in my head. I put it there, I keep it there, I keep stirring it like a boiling pot, until I'm exhausted and ready to explode.

"The Wisdom of Insecurity" by Alan W. Watts has been an impactful book in my life.

There is wisdom in insecurity, hence the name of the book. Why waste your day worrying about either the past or the future, when everything is okay in the exact moment and place you are in right now. Everything that you worry about can boil down to a concern about the past or the future. In this moment we can't do anything about either one.

Live in the moment. Be present, right here right now. Right now right in front of me is all that I have. That's it. That's all I have. (The author was not saying to be impulsive about the moment. Be wise about the future, just don't worry about it.)

Instead of feeling like the days are flying past me and then worrying about where it all went, I entered each day and saw it for what it was. I experienced it, and thus experienced my life.

Matthew 6.34 "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

Get out of your head - stop wasting time and energy trying to plan details of life that you're not present to experience, that you can't truly control anyway.

I quit filling that pot with tomorrow and yesterday and all the days on either side of those. I'm turning off the burner, putting the spoon down and walking away.

I quit worrying.




What if I change my life?

What if I stop wasting my time on things that do not satisfy?
What if I didn't have to buy my clothes at Lane Bryant?
What if I actually did my to do list?
If I quit seeing it as a to-maybe-should-sometime-if-I-
ever-feel-like-it list?
What if my heels, knees, hips and back didn't hurt any more?
What if I was flexible enough to bend myself into a pretzel?
What if I could run with ease?
What if I could run marathons?
What if I developed my talents and hobbies?
What if I really developed and pursued my passions?
What if I actually followed through and achieve my goals?
What if I denied myself (more my stomach and emotional eating self)?
What if I actually let myself be determined enough to do this?
What if I actually focused on bringing, my deep-inside-beautiful-fit-real-self to the outside for the world to see?
What if I quit worrying what everyone else thinks?
What if I saw all of the barriers in my life as challenges to be overcome?
What if I faced those challenges with excitement, energy and passion?
What if I lived without fear?
What if there really wasn't anything that I couldn't do?
What if I really changed my life?


I am Amanda. I'm a wife, a friend and I am dedicated.

I don't know what my max weight ever was. When I was putting on all the weight the scale became my enemy and I quit using one. All I do know is that after exercising 5 days a week for 4 weeks I weighted 277. No telling how much I lost before then. I've gotten down so far as 212. Then stress and life and all sorts of crazy things happened. And slowly but surely I went from 212 to 255, all knowing that my goal weight is 175. That 212 was the lowest weight I had been down to in my adult life. So it really sucks to be back up in weight again. Here's to going back down in weight and exceeding old limitations and keeping it off. Really.

The weight just kept creeping on . Finally found myself at 265. Then I decided to quit thinking about it and just take action.

Being 6 ft tall, I was told that I would never be as small as other people around me. I was told that I had a bigger frame size and that I'd never have that long slim look. Then I found the article on Spark People about how to determine your goal weight based on your frame size. Following the recommendations I found out that I may be tall, but my frame size definitely isn't large, it isn't even average - my frame size is small. My goal weight should actually be 138-148, instead of 169-179. Big difference. This means more work, but more exciting results at the end of it.


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles


Goals -
Finish what I start - reading books, chores, whatever.
Loose 50 lbs in 2012.

Weight Tracking (Goal - 10lbs every 6 wks)
265 - Starting weight-ish.
260 - 6/28/11
250 - 10/19/11
240 -
230 -
220 -
214 - The line between obese and overweight.
210 -
200 -
190 -
180 -
178 - The line between overweight and healthy weight
170 -
165 - Goal weight. Or we'll just see how low I can go in a totally healthy way!

Rewards: clothes, knitting needles, knitting needles kit, extension pack, mani/pedi, bag, e-reader, Zune, Photo shoot!!

Read More About RAININGDOWN (Updated September 25)

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